


An Echo of Silence

by Akee_chan, Ayolen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adoption, Anxiety, Cute Severus Snape, De-Aged Severus Snape, Depressed Severus Snape, Eating Disorders, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Illness, Kid Fic, Kid!Severus, Little Severus, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Esteem Issues, Severus Snape-centric, Suicidal Severus Snape, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Trauma, Young Severus Snape, a lot of panic attacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:27:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 49,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24866050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akee_chan/pseuds/Akee_chan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayolen/pseuds/Ayolen
Summary: "He knew what he had to do and he knew he was making everyone a favor, no one would miss him, no one loved him anymore, no one cared. He should have left the werewolf to kill him that time... even Dumbledore made it clear how little his life mattered... but it was ok he was going to fix it and make it better for everyone."The fifth year is ended, but for Severus, all life seems over. In despair, he decides to put an end.Unfortunately, the attempt does not go as he planned.The Marauders thought it was going to be a regular summer full of idleness, but what happens when at the train station, they find an abandoned mute child?
Relationships: Family/Friendship, James Potter/Severus Snape, Marauders & Severus Snape, No Romantic Relationship(s), Peter Pettigrew/Severus Snape, Remus Lupin/Severus Snape, Sirius Black/Severus Snape
Comments: 1006
Kudos: 1526





	1. The Boy In The Station

Severus Snape leaned his forehead against the window glass and stared, noticing the rushing views outside the train window. 

He felt so empty. 

He was empty. 

This year was the worst year of his life, and he was only sixteen. He had no one left. No one wanted to come close to him, except, ironically, his muggle father and the Marauders, which he really preferred that they were just leaving like everyone else. But there is no rest for the wicked, and to believe everyone around, Severus was one.

When he got up and sat on the train, just a few hours earlier, he gave another look to the mass of people getting on the train he got a glimpse of red hair and green eyes, another one of his mistakes, another way to make his already miserable existence worse.

He felt an awful pain on his chest as if someone had grabbed his heart squishing it harder and harder, so hard it was becoming impossible to breath... he closed his eyes for a moment and search with his hand around his pocket, once he felt it he felt a bit of relief, yes... this, that little vial on his pocket was the solution, he was going to be free of all of it soon.

He had nothing left. It was not bitterness, just the stinging truth. 

He examined the pale, almost clear liquid he held in his hands. So little thing that could end everything. 

His savior. 

What keeps him here? He closed his eyes and let out a trembling breath. Lily. He lost her. After so many years of friendship, she didn't give him another chance. But she was right. He would eventually sink and pull her after him. 

Lily had endured him more than anyone else. There was a time when he thought he had Lucius and Regulus. But it was over.

They had seen how worthless he was and abandoned him like everyone else, even his own mother was no longer there to protect him from his father's abuse, and all that he had was pain, suffer, abuse, abandonment, sadness, it was just not worth it anymore...

He received the letter about her death just a few weeks ago... The thought of his house was colder than ever. He despaired. Potter understood it better than Severus himself at the time. How did he say? It's just the fact that he exists... How easy it was to just accept it. At least he had someone waiting for him on the other side. 

He knew what he had to do and he knew he was making everyone a favor, no one would miss him, no one loved him anymore, no one cared. He should have left the werewolf to kill him that time... even Dumbledore made it clear how little his life mattered... but it was ok he was going to fix it and make it better for everyone.

His eyes become empty, there weren't any tears left he felt dead already might as well finish it now. 

The wax stopper was removed with a faint popping sound as Severus brought the vial to his lips. 

It tastes more sour than expected, was the last thought that went through his mind, before the black took over his vision and he was lost to the world.

***

Just as they were getting of the train Sirius roared with laughter and patted Remus's back, "That was good!" The latter shrank from the intensity of the blow as Peter joined in the laugh.

They were shoving themselves playfully while walking through the crowd searching for James parents when Remus heard a sound it was a very soft almost nonexistent sound but his sensitive hearing got it, he told the other three to be quiet for a moment and that's when they all heard it a very soft sobbing sound. They carefully approached the place it came from, all of them started searching around for the source of the sound when Remus suddenly got hit by a heavy smell of blood. He started looking around in a more desperate way when he finally saw it, a very tiny naked child cowering under a bench.

Remus ducked and reached, but the child immediately pulled away and shrank in the corner to which he pushed himself. 

The other three exchanged glances as Remus tried to coax the boy with a reassuring voice. After a few long minutes and endless patience, Remus managed to pull the boy under the bench without being scratched. Peter took off his robe and handed it to Remus who quickly wrapped the boy in it.

"What is a little kid doing here alone?" James voiced everyone's question aloud. 

Sirius leaned close to him and startled the boy, "He's all bruised. Maybe he's an abandoned child?" 

Remus opened his mouth, but the call of his name interrupted him before he could say a word. He glanced at his parents and then his friends. 

Sirius waved, "Go." 

Remus seemed hesitant, "But what about—" 

"We'll get along," Sirius chuckled, "Don't worry, you can trust us. Right, Prongs?" 

"Sure." James agreed, "Besides, you know you have to get home before the night, Moony."

Remus nodded and carefully handed the trembling little boy to James, before gently caressing his tangled long black hair. "I'll ask for permission to visit you once it's over, please be careful with him."

"Sure, Moony. We'll see you soon, I'll let mom know so they can prepare a room for you, you too, Peter." Said the Potter heir while carefully grabbing the boy to have a better look at him.

"Sure, Prongs. I'll tell my mom." said a shy Peter, weaving Remus goodbye with the others. 

As James got his eyes back to the child, he couldn't stop the flinch while looking at the boys wounds. The poor thing had a broken lip, a black eye and some other bruises along his face with some cuts, also bleeding and that was just his head he could not imagine how the rest of him was. 

Who could be so evil to hurt a child like that?! He just couldn't understand it. 

He felt a pang of pain on his chest just by looking at the boy and the quiet crying he was still doing, he was going to help him. He embraced the child trying to make him feel protected when Sirius called him.

"James, your parents are here and Peter's mom is over there I think we should leave now they will help us for sure."

"Maybe they can find the parents of this poor thing. They'll probably die of worry while that kid gets lost." 

Sirius was not empressed by James's confidence in words. He shrugged, "How can you know?Maybe they abandoned him?" 

"Or did he run away from home?" Peter suggested, "Like Sirius." 

"I didn't run away, I left. And I had where to go. I don't think a baby could find a place to escape to. How old is he? Two?"

"He definitely looks little enought to be two years old, so I don't think he ran away either but maybe he was kidnapped and escaped someway, and now his parents are sick worried for him." 

Sirius still didn't look convinced but let the other lead him to their parents. Yes, their. Sirius definitely considered the Potters more his family than the one he was born in, and knowing of the awful families that existed, he still thought some parents capable of abandoning this kid and they maybe some bastard found him and hurt him instead of helping him.

The Potters smiled warmly at their boys, looking them approaching but the smile on them became curiosity and worrisome when they notice the little bundle James had on his arms.

"Dad, we found this baby by himself under a bech on the station. He was all alone and crying and he is hurt really badly, we need to help him!" James said while showing the boy to his parents.

"Of course, dear." Euphemia Potter took the toddler out of her son's hands. The boy squirmed and the woman carefully massaged his back, murmuring softly. As soon as he calmed down, she looked at his face, big black eyes giving her a worried look. 

"Hello, little one, do you think you can tell us where your parents are?" 

The boy did not respond. 

"What about your name?" Again, the question was met with silence. 

"Do you even understand us?" Sirius snapped into the dialogue. 

After a brief moment, the boy nodded slightly, dark, dirty strands of hair bouncing around his face in the tiny movement. 

"How old are you?" The kid was silent. He looked down at his hands and raised four tiny thin fingers. His hand shook a little, before dropping her back in his lap. 

Euphemia breathed sharply as her gaze went over the many injuries on the small body. "We will have to postpone the search for his parents. This child needs medical care. Now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We really hope you liked that, we'll love to read your opinion and comments!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	2. The Raven

The first planned destination, of course, was the hospital, but as soon as they began to approach the building, the little boy began to writhe and fight violence.

Euphemia tried to coax him into explanations, but the boy was determined. Even without saying anything, it was clear that he would not surrender without a fight. It took a few har minutes to calm him down. 

Euphemia spoke to him firmly but softly and eventually received a tentative agreement from him that the doctor would come to their home. Fleamont went to invite a doctor, but unfortunately, a soonest doctor for a home visit was only two hours later. 

They considered the options and eventually decided to send James and Sirius to their home while the Potters couple visited with the little boy in the ministry of magic to find his parents.

Before going, Euphemia gave the boy a little check to make sure non of his injuries were deathly dangerous, while they seem to need attention they didn't seem life threatening, so they kept with the journey. 

On the way, she transformed a handkerchief into a kitten plushie to keep the little boy entertained.

Once they arrived, Fleamont ask to speak to someone from the missing persons apartment. Luckily, they didn't had to wait to long.

"Hello, Sir, how can I help you?" said a young blond witch.

"Hello, dear, I need your assistance to know if someone has filled a missing child report, you see, my boys found this little one, but we don't know where he comes from or even his name, since he doesn't seem able to tell us." Said a worried looking Fleamont, showing the tiny boy to the woman.

"Merlin! What happened to the poor baby?" She said, looking at the bruises on his face.

"I'm afraid we don't know, we will take of him and make sure he is healed and of course, it's no problem for us to keep him while we search for his family, but we wanted to know if there was someone already looking for him." 

"Let me check, but I don't remember having any recent report for a child his age." 

While the witch went to check the report, the Potters started talking to each other deciding to volunteer themself to adopt the baby in case no one appeared after some time. They decided to ask her to fill their request once she was back.

The woman returned a while later. "There seems to be no evidence of missing magical children. Could he belong to the Muggle world?" 

The Potters exchanged glances. "We don't know, but he was at the 9¾ platform. He may have been a muggleborn wizard who accidentally passed." 

The witch nodded, "I see. It is possible, though unlikely." 

Fleamont stepped forward, "If there is nowhere to send the child, we would like to take him." 

"It is noteworthy, Mr. Potter, but the child's parents may still appear, the guardians belong to them and cannot transfer it without permission." 

"We know, we just want to keep him for the near term, so he doesn't have to go into the orphanage, it's not a good place for any child. Once his parents show up, we'll return him to them." 

The young woman looked at the slender boy, and apparently agreed that the orphanage would not benefit him. She nodded, "I'll check it out." She left the office again. 

The boy looked around, as quiet as ever, as the couple spoke in hushed voices. "I would love to adopt him completely. It's like a gift from the fate." Euphemia said to her husband, "You know we always wanted another son." But they never succeeded. The couple had difficulties and even James's only birth was a miracle for them. 

Fleamont nodded, "It was good for James to have a little brother. Maybe he would have learned responsibility." 

Euphemia snorted, "It's hard to imagine..."

The witch repeated, "Very well, Mr., Mrs. Potter," She said candidly, "you have permission to keep him for a while until we find out where his parents and other relatives are first in line for guardianship."

After that, both Potters decided to go home with their new temporary charge. When they arrived, they ordered they house elf to go prepare a room for the baby, something to eat and search for some of James old clothes for the child. 

"Boys, we are home!" Exclaimed Feamont to call for James and Sirius.

"So, no luck finding his parents then?" Said James, looking a the baby on his parents arms.

"I'm afraid not, honey, but we already made the report and have the permission to keep him until his family appear." Said Euphemia while taking the boy to their room, so he could be checked by the healer that was going to arrive soon.

She put him on their bed and notice the poor baby was blinking sleepy while trembling a little. 

Their house elf appeared with some clothes and a blanket along with a sippy cup filled with warm milk. 

"My mistress, Dinky has found what you asked and also prepared the room beside this with a cot and some toys. Dinky also bring little master something to drink. Dinky is also to tell you healer sir is here."

"Thank you, Dinky, please let him come to the room and please prepare a bath for him."

With that request from his mistress, the house elf disappeared of the room and moments later a middle aged healer enter the room.

Euphemia explained the situation and the man turned to begin the examination. The results were not welcoming. Mrs. Potter's face darkened with the comprehensive diagnosis of the injuries. 

Aside from the obvious bruises; the split lip, the black eye and the bloodshed at random places in his body, the unfortunate child suffered from a broken rib and a rough cut, bloodshot on the neck. 

The little may have been really mute. The unfortunate child was in terrible pain and it was really hard to believe the silence he was demonstrating. 

The boy was silent throughout the examination, he mainly looked at his feet, and refused to look up. 

The healer healed some of the damage, adding a list of potions and infusions to maximum remove the sign, but some had to heal only in the natural way.

"He is very underweight and is just a step behind from having anemia, we need to start a highly nutrition diet along with potions. He doesn't seem the age you told me he has due to this." Said the doctor giving them another round of potions along with a very detailed diet regimen for the boy. 

"Thank you a lot, we will make sure to give him all he needs, it's there something else?" Ask Fleamont. 

"Yes, actually. I healed most of his injuries but I will need to check again for his broken rib, I made sure it won't cause anymore damage but we will need to keep checking on him to make sure it heals properly please be very careful with it, maybe in a couple week we may heal it completely with magic, but for now, be as gentle as possible."

"Yes, we will. Thank you." With that and another appointment scheduled for the next week, Euphemia decided to give the little boy a bath. 

"I'd really be wonderful if you would give us your name I really don't know how to refer to you properly." Said Euphemia while walking to the bathroom.

As soon as the boy saw the bathtub, he started squirming and sobbing, while trying to get off her arms.

"Whats wrong with him?" Said James, looking at the baby whose tears had started to flow.

"I don't now, dear, maybe he is afraid or nervous... hey, why don't you and Sirius help me show him there's nothing to be afraid?" Said Euphemia while trying to keep the baby from hurting himself.

Twin maquiavelus smiles appeared on both boys, and soon, Euphemia regretted asking for the help, as both boys started to play with the water, splashing it everywhere, but it did help calm the boy a little, who now was looking at the laughing boys with curious eyes. 

Afterward they did manage to bath the baby with both boys, making silly faces and splashing each other. He got some potions applied to his wounds and got dressed in a red pajama that was a bit big on him, but gave him the warmth he needed. 

"Hey, look, his hair looks really dark and a little blue like a raven."

James jokingly agreed, "He looks like a little raven at all." 

Euphemia ran a hand through the boy's clean hair, "What do you say? Will we call you Raven in the meantime?" 

The boy looked at them with big black eyes, a mixed concern with curiosity. 

"I like this!" Enthused Sirius, "Maybe we can teach him to become an animagus too!" James stuck an elbow in his friend's ribs. 

They led the child to the room prepared for him, but as soon as the child saw the baby bed prepared for him, he began to rebel again. He refused to get on it and as soon as he was put in, refused to lie down and crouched in the corner, hugging his knees. 

It took them a while to understand what the problem was, a baby crib seemed to be a terrible insult to a four-year-old. Children were sensitive and stubborn and the potters gave up. Fleamont performed a quick transformation spell and moved the cradle to a regular bed, adding some alert charms, just in case. That's worked.

The boys parted good night and left the room. The woman lingered just a moment longer, gently covering the boy whose eyes were already closed, "Sleep well, Raven."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And our Sevvie get a nickname :)
> 
> Thanks for reading! We'll love to hear your mind!


	3. Food and Floo

It was the middle of the night when Fleamont Potter was alerted by his spell that the little boy on the next room was awake. With his movement, his wife also woke up.

"Dear, what happened?" Said a sleepy Euphemia.

"I'm not sure. I think the little one is up, I'll go check on him." Said Fleamont putting on his slippers. 

"I'll go with you, dear, in case you need help with him." 

They quickly arrived to the next room and heard a soft whimpering, at first they weren't able to see the baby boy, but after a moment of cautiously searching, they found him squished between the bookcase and the nightstand, trembling while cowering himself.

Fleamont approached the boy quickly, but as soon as Raven noticed the tall figure approaching him, he clung to the corner and shrunk, closing his eyes tightly and covering his head with his small, slim arms. Quiet sobs slipped from the trembling boy's lips. 

Fleamont took a step back and turned his gaze to his wife. The woman shook her head and stepped forward as Sirius burst into the room. 

"I told you I heard something." Said the former Black heir. 

James rolled his eyes and yawned, "Obviously, you hear like an elephant..."

The loud voices made the poor boy even more scared, trying to make himself as little as possible, while covering himself from possible harm. 

"Boys, don't be so loud, I think we're scaring him more and he may hurt himself, since his wounds are not completely healed." Said Euphemia while looking at the boy worryingly. She approached the bed an took the transfigured kitty plushie.

She carefully approached the boy and putting the plushie, before her she said with a soft voice, "Hello there, little Raven." 

The boy took a moment but eventually, black big eyes where looking at the plushie with a bit of curiosity. 

Looking at the soon Sirius and James where searching for toys around the room to approached the scared boy.

"There are almost no toys..." Sirius said, examining a single toy dragon they could find. 

Fleamont smiled, "Well, that's what's left of James. He wasn't a particularly careful boy." 

James blushed, "Hey!" He protested. 

"His taste is not something either..." Sirius commented, spanking a blow from his best friend. He smirked and handed the toy to the trembling raven. 

It was a few minutes before the last one reached out his little hand slowly and picked up the object. He turned it over in his hands and examined it tentatively. 

Euphemia smiled, "Tomorrow we will go buy your own toys," Raven looked up, worried and hesitant, the woman nodding, "Whatever you want." She held out her hand to him, "Come on, try some sleep, okay?"

The little boy shocked his head, not wanting to go back to bed. "What about we tell you a story? But we'll have to do it in bed, it's a bit uncomfortable here don't you think?"

After a moment the boy nodded, letting himself be taken to the bed with the dragon still on his hand. Euphemia tuck him in the bed and took one of the few James old books and started reading to him with the two teenagers making the character voices funny and acting some parts. Eventually Raven got to sleep and everyone went back to their rooms.

Next morning, Raven had to be coaxed to drink his potions and they started planning a trip to buy him clothes and toys after breakfast.

As soon as he was allowed, Raven pounced on breakfast. At first, when he only saw the plate of food in front of him, he looked up with astonishing eyes and full of so much hope that it was painful to watch. The poor boy was starving. Who knows how long the street has suffered? 

A little approval he could eat was all he needed to attack the pie in front of him, stopping for a moment only to stare in confusion at the clear apple juice James poured into his glass. 

Raven dipped his finger carefully into the glass before inserting it into his mouth. His eyes widened in shock at the sweet taste that lingered on his tongue and he finished drinking thirstily all the contents of the glass. 

James smirked and ruffled his hair, but the movement was wrong. The child flinched, closed his eyes and shrunk, looking a bit like a scared rabbit. 

"Maybe we should have named you Bunny..." the teenager muttered.

"Maybe we could get him a bunny costume but I like Raven as a name for him more," said Sirius while chewing on some bacon.

Raven was delighted with all the sweetness from the food in front of him and James kept giving him cookies and little chocolate muffins, while his mom wasn't looking. 

"Oh dear, you're all finished and I didn't gave you the fruit. Oh well I guess you can have it tomorrow." Said Euphemia while cleaning the little boy from all the crumbs.

Once they all finished breakfast, they decided to go to Diagon ally, first to purchase the clothes and maybe some children books, since Raven had enjoyed the story from the night before. After that they were to visit Hogsmeade, to search for toys and furniture for the room. 

The little boy became very silent while feeling a bit queasy, the family entered the fireplace and taking some floo powder to travel. 

Soon they were exiting the Leaky Cauldron with both teenagers running to the quidditch store. Raven's eyes became very big when he looked at the mass of people walking. He started getting very nervous and the queasy filling on his belly grow making him nauseous while his breathing quickened. 

Euphemia notice something was wrong with the child, when she started feeling his agitated breathing on her chest were he was hiding his face. 

Suddenly, it became too much and the big amount of breakfast he had eagerly swallowed was coming back painfully through his little throat.

The pain that dominated the boy's face changed with anxiety as he struggled to get out of the woman's grip on despair. 

He heard the voices of the adults in the background, but could not discern the words, above the segmental abdominal pain and fear that had taken over him. His stomach was dry and he was throwing up the rest of the food he ate. He trembled violently. There were tears in the little boy's eyes and as soon as he could find himself on the ground, he began a clumsy run down the street. 

"Raven!" 

"James, Sirius, find him! Don't let him get away!" Exclaimed Fleamont. 

The teens immediately started running towards the startled boy. Thanks to their mature age and athletic body, they quickly found him.

The little boy had just bumped on someone with a very bright purple cloak, an afraid look up to the person he had just hit with his little body, the man had a long white beard and as soon as their eyes connected a knowing look crossed the old man's eyes.

"Oh my, I wonder how you end up like that." Said the man while reaching for the child but before he could grab him other hands grabbed the child.

"Don't ever run like that! You could get lost or hurt." Said James holding the baby on his arms. Soon his parents and Sirius approached them. 

"Oh, hi, professor, thank you for stopping him." Said Euphemia.

"Not to worry, Is he yours?"

"Yes, at least for now, he's our little raven." 

"Good, I leave you to it, I'm afraid someone is waiting for me. Have a good day."

With that, Dumbledore walked to a stern looking professor. "Minerva, dear, I hope I didn't make you wait to long." 

"Not at all Albus, but we need to get going to Mr. Snape's home it is quite odd of him to leave his wand and stuff back."

"Oh, there's no need for that, dear. Mr. Snape is quite well, we should keep his belongings for now until he comes back to us." Said the man with a twinkle on his eyes.

The woman pursed her lips and frown before asking "Are you sure? Did you saw him?" 

"You could say so, Minerva, lets go, we have lots of work to do." 

With that both were gone from the alley.

Raven trembled in James's arms, his stomach aching terribly and he felt a loss in the urge to throw up. At the third time, there was hardly anything to empty out of his stomach except the bile juice, the pain was searing. 

His hair stuck to his sweaty forehead and he buried his face in the chest of the big boy yhat holding him, whimpering helplessly. 

"Someone doesn't seem so mute in the end..." Sirius muttered. 

"We seem to have to postpone buying toys for another date." Said Fleamont, "Raven needs a rest." 

"What happened to him?" James asked, examining the little boy who was being cling to his chest.

"I really don't understand dear, maybe we should call the healer," said Euphemia with a worried look.

Carefully hugging the boy, James took him to their home along with their family. The poor little child hasn't stopped trembling while clutching his stomach as his body temperature started getting warm. 

"I think he has some fever," said James touching Raven's forehead. 

"The healer is on his way here." Said Fleamont while caressing the baby's hair. 

Soon the same healer from yesterday was coming to the room and checking on the boy.

A brief diagnostic examination presented the results. The man turn to the Potters with the report. 

It was an eating disorder that developed due to prolonged hunger, the child was too skinny and his body could not stand what was placed on him. His stomach was not to be loaded with rich foods and in a big amount. 

He issued a form with the distinction, as well as a health diet that would slowly bring the child back to proper eating, any deviation from the program could have led to a result like today. The healer added a fever-reducing potion to the list with the instruction to give him one dose now and one the next morning, and a few rest days for the child to improve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you've enjoyed the chapter, we always love to read your thoughts!


	4. Marauders, Shopping and Kids

It took two days for Raven to recover from the latest incident. The Potter family made sure to feed the neglected child three times a day in small portions of soups and porridge, the boy himself refused to eat more than a half plate at every meal, felt that the place inside him was too full and simply unable to continue. They used patience, which was especially difficult for both adolescent boys. 

The postponed trip to buy the toys was redesigned, as was Remus and Peter's visit. Euphemia and Fleamont Potter had to go back to their work, so it was decided that young Raven would go to Diagon Alley accompanied by the four friends.

Finally the day come and both Peter and Remus arrived home. As soon as they slept on the house they were welcomed by their friends. 

They soon were presented with the shy little boy looking at them curiously and seem to remember them.

"Hello there, you look better, I'm Remus, do you remember me?" Said Remus gently approaching the child.

"He won't answer," Said Sirius, "he doesn't speak."

"What? Then how do you know his name?" Asked Peter.

"We don't know it we just made up one, we've been calling him Raven." Said James pointing at the childs hair. 

Both parents entered the kitchen right after an greeted them.

"Thank you for inviting us over." Said Remus politely.

"No trouble dear, you are always welcome." Said Euphemia, sitting on the table to have breakfast with the family. 

"Have you found anything about his parents or where he comes from?" Asked Remus after serving himself a cup of tea.

"Unfortunately, no." Replied Fleamont, "There seem to be no known reports and cases that fit our little friend's situation, so for now we have the pleasure of hosting Raven with us." The man smiled at the boy who was trying to hide behind a large bottle of juice and looked back at him shyly. 

Remus frowned, "But is there no way to perform magic or identity test?" He asked, confused. 

Mr. Potter shook his head, "No. The identity test is a unique ability of the goblins, its magic only works on a person over the age of five, since, before that age, the child's core is still unstable. And the wizards have no magic parallel to it."

"Ah..." Remus muttered. 

"Well, it's not like they would have checked it out even if Raven was the right age," James remarked, pouring Raven's water-thin orange juice, "the only thing that interests them is the bank stuff."

"I understand, then lets hope his family appears" said Remus finishing his breakfast.

Once they were all finished Euphemia and Fleamont apparate all of them to Hogsmade deciding they would start there this time since it was less crowded than diagon alley and gave them a port key for them to go back. They also made sure their house elf was near so he could get all the shopping home. 

"Please be careful boys and make sure to constantly check on Raven if he starts getting anxious or uncomfortable make sure to get home. And don't give him any sweets, we need to let at least a week before we can add anything to his food. " Said Euphemia while giving James a bag with money since Remus was in charge of Raven.

"Don't worry miss Potter I'll make you he is alright." said Remus while patting the baby soothingly on the back. 

"Thank you see you at home later. Take care." Said Fleamont before he and his wife apparate to their jobs. 

"So... where should we go first?" Ask Peter while looking around.

"I think he needs clothes first." Said Remus searching for some near store.

"Thats boring moony! We should go toy hunting first!. Whined Sirius.

"No, then you won't want to be back and we'll get all distracted. Clothes first." Said Remus already going ahead to one of the stores. 

"At least we could buy him some customs and funny clothes, bet there's a bunny one somewhere." Said James patting Siruis on the back while following Remus and Peter.

Sirius cheered and laughed at the thought of the boy in animal costumes. 

They followed Remus who led them to a children's clothing store and quickly dispersed inside the store. Every few minutes, they would return to Remus who stayed with the child and measure a garment or ask their opinions. 

"I don't really care what you say," said Sirius, as he attached on Raven a dog suit, "I want him to measure it so we can see what the hood with the ears looks like." 

"At least it's better than the bug costume you found earlier." Remus mumbled as he gathered the usual everyday clothes. 

Peter showed up around the corner with some clothes he found and showed them to Remus, ignoring Sirius's complaints of how boring they were. The short blond boy offered to buy some swimsuits as they were likely to take the boy to the sea or the pool. 

The latest statement caught the attention of James, who just appeared with a stack of shirts with quirky and ridiculous print captions and sentences and a Quidditch children's uniform. "That's a good idea, we can teach him to swim. Except that, now we have a fun day to plan."

Sirius measured a huge, ridiculous little cap on the little boy who turned out to be incredibly patient, with the amount of measurements and nonsense that Black heiress loaded. 

Remus lifted the boy from the pouf he was sitting on and sat him on his hip, "Padfoot, we are going soon, do you want to find something else?" 

The question turned out to be a mistake, because in addition to the clothes they had found so far, more costumes of chick, unicorn, cucumber, fried egg, snowman and a dementor were now joined. 

After what seemed like hours, when they left the store, Sirius ran back, claiming he had forgotten something. A moment later, he reappeared with the rabbit costume. 

"Now, can we finally go to the toy store?" He asked the others impatiently.

"But you was the one that..." Peter began to murmur but stopped, knowing it would lead nowhere and just rolled his eyes.

They arrived to a huge toystore that had all kind of toys but something caught Sirius eye right away. 

"Look prongs it's us!" Said the teen, pointing to a stack of plushies, among there a stag and a black fluffy dog stood out.

"I bet we can find a rat and a wolf, I'll be awesome, he'll have his own maraunders!" With that, Sirius started moving plushies around to found the ones he wanted.

With Sirius focused on his tasked the other ones started going through the store to find more toys for Raven.

Knowing the boy wouldn't tell them what he wanted, Remus kept a close eye to his reactions, so he could get toys the boy wanted, but it turned out to be more difficult than he expected as the boy looked at everything with an awed expression and curious eyes, as if looking at them for the first time, but at the same time he was very cautious of not touching anything.

Eventually Remus decided it was a better option to just get some variety and took different kind of toys like puzzles, potions kits, some blocks, racing unicorns, a bag with little magical animals that moved and made sounds, some clay and crayons along with coloring books and some kids story books.

James of course brought kids quidditch gears and a toy snitch, he also added some other magical toys. Peter added bathtub toys and a few boardgames. 

Finally, Sirius arrived with the four plushies he had managed to find plus a rabbit and a raven, since he couldn't decide which was a best representation of the boy and some pranking toys that weren't exactly for toodlers but he was adamant they had to get. 

For a final stop, they entered a furniture shop and Remus purchased a few things Euphemia had asked for Raven's room, and that they were on their way home with some very exited James and Sirius, even more apparently, than the little boy itself.

"The children seemed to have a fun day." Remus remarked, with the tired Raven laying his head on his shoulder. 

"Children?" Sirius paused, "But we only have one child, Moony..." 

Peter just giggled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That chapter was really fun to write ^^  
> Hope you liked!


	5. Toys and Fear

That night the family had a very enjoyable dinner. The boy were telling their parent about their shopping and what they had gotten for the little raven.

After dinner it was time to use some of the things they buy for the first time. First were the bathtub toys since Raven had to be cleaned before bed. 

The boys offered themself for the task if only to play with the toys. The little boy was still reluctant to enter the tub when he was carried there by Remus. 

"Hey look there are some little friends who want to meet you" said Remus while trying to coax little Raven to enter the bathtub.

It took a moment but eventually curiosity got him and carefully the child approached the tub looking inside, there in the water a boat was floating around moving in circles while a mermaid a squib and some other water creatures where swimming around. 

They little boy put a hand in the warm water and was about to touch a water dragon when suddenly Sirius stand beside him to dropp a bath bubble potion. 

The boy quickly withdraw his hand and flinch expecting to be punished or yelled for trying to touch something that wasn't his with out permission.

Remus noticed the boy's reaction and bent down towards him. "Do you want to play with the dragon?Come on, you can, it's yours." The werewolf smiled at the boy. 

Raven didn't seem convinced at all, he bowed his head and let his black hair cover his face. 

James reached out, "Raven, come in." 

The boy hesitated for long seconds, but did not violate the instruction and reached out to the big boy, following him with considerable reluctance. 

Sirius added extra potions to the bath, foam in different colors with foam figures shaped like knights and princesses that moved, various aromatic scents and singing bubbles, until the place could hardly look like a bath.

It took a lot from the boys to convince Raven that the toys where his and to make him play with them but eventually he did. Remus was amazed of how careful the boy was with them even more than Sirius and James that were currently playing to the "ocean wars", thankfully they did manage to make the baby giggle and engaged him on their game. 

Remus used the distraction to carefully bath the baby he did notice some very faint almost invisible scars on different parts of his body there weren't a lot but there were enough to make him frown. He didn't want to make assumptions so he made a mental note to observe the child more maybe there from playing like any child but from how careful he was with the toys he was starting to doubt it.

Once he finish washing the baby Remus told him it was time to leave Raven actually pouted a little at it looking at the new toys longingly as if afraid to lose them. 

"Don't worry I promise they will be here for tomorrow and everyday for to play." Said Remus while grabbing the baby to take him out. The boy nodded after a moment and let himself be carried away.

As instructed from Euphemia, Remus applied some potions to Raven's body carefully, he was glad to notice most of the bruising was gone. Then James and Sirius entered a heated discussion about what pajamas the boy should wear. 

Sirius has a red pajama with moving dragons on it while James had a sky blue one with quidditch players in form of animals, the discussion was however interrupted and finished when Raven giggled and grabbed an orange one with little flying hippogriffs.

"Sorry guys but it looks he has make his choice." Said Remus while putting the pajama on the boy. After that he was tucked in bed and Sirius approached with the 6 plushies they had purchase.

"Hey what about a maraunder night story? We have lot of cool ones to share he needs to start learning after all how to have fun like his dear old brothers, I just can't decide which is him. " Said Sirius while looking between the black bunny plushie and the raven one.

Sirius was interrupted by a squeal. The sound was so unexpected that the two furies fell from his hands. 

The four friends looked at the little boy with different levels of shock on their faces. It was the first time they had heard more than a faint whine, and while it wasn't really real words, it was clear he wasn't mute. He also understood what they were talking to him, so there must have been another reason why he refused to speak... 

Remus leaned over to the screaming boy. "Raven, what happened?" Tried to coax him to relax. 

But Raven just stared at the plush toys with such big horror that it was scary. 

James followed the startled boy's gaze, "Is that... the wolf he's scared of?" He asked hesitantly. 

The little boy squirmed out of bed, desperate to get away as quickly as possible and hid under the bed, leaving the four older boys at a loss. 

"The wolf? Are you kidding me?" Sirius asked, lifting the wolf in question, "There's nothing scary about him." 

"Maybe he's just scared of wolves..." Peter said. 

Remus nodded, "Maybe he once met the wolf and the seal of the shock stayed inside." He said quietly. 

James ducked under the bed and found Raven's trembling form squinting in the far corner, with his hands covering his head.

"We have to do something, he can't be afraid of wolves! How is he supposed to turn into animagus and come with us in the full moon if he's scared?" Said Sirius while trying to have some idea.

"Wow, slow there Pads, he's just a baby, his parents may appear at some point and it's quite normal for a child to have fears, in the muggle word werewolves are used on horror stories." Said Remus, taking the plushies to the night table so they weren't on the boys line of vision.

"That's bullshit and you know it Moony. I mean, whoever used a wolf or werewolf or whatever to scare him is a bastard but we'll fix it and he'll see how cool you are. As for his parent, come on, are you all really so blind? If there had been anyone looking for him they would have already appeared, his parent are assholes that abandoned him which is fine, cause we found him and we'll take care of him." Snapped Sirius voicing his opinion on the matter.

James sighed. "You don't know that for sure but I do agree that we'll care for him." Murmured James while carefully trying to grab the scared child, he still refused to believe anyone capable of abandoning a baby like that. He knew Sirius parents hadn't been the best but even they didn't abandoned him.

Remus ducked under the bed, "The wolf is gone, buddy. You can go out." A pair of suspicious black eyes looked at him, but the boy made no attempt to leave his hiding place. 

Peter lay down on the floor and crawled toward the boy, "Hey, look what I have here!" He showed him the bunny doll, "He wants to be your friend, do you think you would agree?" 

The little boy looked at the toy quietly and then looked back at Pettigrew. 

The blond boy bounced the bunny up and down, talking in baby-like and high voice, "Ray-Ray, I like you, do you want to be my friend?" 

Raven studied the toy tentatively, before nodding slowly. 

"Yay!" Exclaimed Peter as the bunny and brought it closer to the boy. 

Raven tentatively reached out and took the rabbit, he pinned it to him with a loose hug. 

After a few more solicitations, Peter was able to get the boy out and put him back on the bed, the single plushie was now joined by the rat one and Raven pressed both of them with his right arm to his stomach. 

James was waiting with a children's book that started reading it in different and funny voices, make the little boy give a little smile. 

Remus glanced at the table and the wolf toy and sighed quietly. 

"You don't have to feel guilty." Said Sirius, causing Remus to look up at him. "You didn't do anything wrong." 

Remus shook his head. "No," he agreed quietly, "not this time." 

"Remus..." 

Remus shook his head again and walked away, turning to leave the room, "I'm tired. I'm going to bed." He said. "Good night."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you have fun!


	6. The Sweetheart in a Puppy Costume

Next morning Raven's room looked like a tornado had passed there since there were clothes everywhere, the boy was looking curiously to the exited teenager that was causing all the disorder while hugging the black bunny to his chest. 

"Why do they have to be all so cool? I can't decide which one to put on you and I wanted to surprise everyone". Wined Sirius while looking between an abraxan custome, a niffler one, a bunny, a dog, and a teddy one. Others like an egg, dementor, owl, phoenix, kneazle, mandragora, and some other animals and funny looking customes had already been discarded (for the current day).

Suddenly a gasp was heard. "What happened here?" Said a wide eye Remus that came to the room along with Peter and James. 

"Oh, um... good morning?" Said Sirius with a nervous laughter while looking at the other boys. 

"So, you want to dress Raven in one of those I assume?" Said James while picking a butterfly one with an arched brow.

"Yeah, sorry, I wanted to surprise everyone but come on it's too hard! And he doesn't help at all looking all cute over there cause I know he will look good in any of these." Said Sirius while poking the baby's cheek with affection. 

Big black eyes looked up at him with curiosity and they got the cutest smile they ever saw from the boy.

Sirius looked at him. "Maybe I'll just dress you now as a bunny, afternoon you'll be a kitty and in the evening—"

"You're not going to pass him through that adventure." Remus entered in his remarks. "The kid doesn't need a burden like that. You will have other days to dress him as you please." 

Sirius missed, "Ugh, no fun with you, Moony!" Sirius complained and returned to look at the costumes. A moment later he decided and grabbed the dog's attire. "If so, today you'll be a puppy! Do you like puppies?" 

If Sirius expected an answer, he was disappointed. But it didn't seem to bother him, he tugged the little boy in a suit and examined him with a critical eye. "You're just a dolly!" He took the dog's plushie and placed it next to Raven, "See? You almost twins." 

Raven looked at the toy, from him to Sirius and back, and giggled quietly. 

"Is that a giggle I hear?" Teased James who joined the celebration quickly. He lay on the bed beside Raven and tickled the little one's stomach. 

Raven panicked for a moment, but immediately began to squirm with cute giggles under James's efforts.

After tickling the boy a bit more he was cuddled by the boys and hugged before they decided to go to have breakfast. Sirius was looking at Raven in the cute customers with the ears and tail bouncing with the movement when he got an idea. 

"Guys, I know how to make little Ray-Ray here overcome his fear to the wolves!" He said while looking at the boy playing with Padfoot's plushie version. 

"Sirius, just leave it like that, I know your ideas and I don't want to have traumatizing a child on my conscience." Said Remus while looking worried.

"I promise it's nothing bad! At least listen before you say no." Said Sirius while giving him puppy eyes.

"Fine, but I'm sure I'll regret this." Said Remus with a sigh while taking Raven's potions with them to go for breakfast.

"I just realized he's not scared of dogs, right? I mean look at what a cute puppy he is! So, what about using Padfoot to make him less scared of wolves! I mean Padfoot is a dog but looks a bit like a wolf, but I mean it would be right away, we could, I don't know, start with toys, pictures, whatever we need and eventually get him to meet Padfoot, so he can see there's no danger! It won't take much from there to make him overcome his fear." Said Sirius confidently.

"I'll think about, I guess it's not your worst idea, but I think we still need him to trust us more. I mean, he still flinched and hide from us just last night." Said Remus.

They turned to breakfast, as in all the last time, it was easy to digest porridge. 

James sighed in disapproval, "All day only porridge..." he grumbled. 

Peter swallowed a mouthful, "What are you complaining about? It's not bad." 

James rolled his eyes, "Try you eat it for so long, Wormtail!" Sirius nodded in agreement. 

Peter shrugged, "I don't see a problem." 

"You don't understand Pete," Remus replied, "these are our millionaires. They just need luxury dishes. This porridge is under their dignity."

"Hey! That's not true! I'll eat it," James protested, "Here!" He sipped the porridge and grimaced with exaggerated melodramatics. 

The looks passed to Sirius that sighing and swallowing the dish in his plate, "Too bad there are no cereals, or some delicious biscuits..." he muttered to himself. 

"Ah-hmm." Remus coughed and gestured to Raven who looked at them intently during the exchange. 

The two boys immediately forced cheerful smiles, "We're just kidding! It's the most delicious dish there is. Who needs chocolate and cakes when there's a thick, bubbly liquid in the plate?"

Raven look at them with curious eyes before taking the sole strawberry on his plate and to everyone's surprise he put it on James plate then looking down as if guilty. 

"Did you just give me your only fruit because I said I wanted sweet things?" James said looking at the little child awed. The boy nodded before taking another spoonful of porridge. 

"Awww, how can he be so cute! You don't have to give your food Raven, I know you like fruit and you need it more than me, but I really do appreciate it." Said James while giving back the strawberry before standing from his place to give the child a hug, Raven got startled at first but then let himself be hugged by the older boy. 

The other boys where smiling. They finished breakfast and decided to play with the boy. They took him to his room and started looking around for things to do.

"Hey maybe we can draw something." Peter said taking the crayons out. 

"That's boring, we should do something with more movement." Said Sirius.

"I think peter's idea is better, we just had breakfast we don't want to make him sick," said Remus while putting some parchment in front of Raven. 

"Fine, but promise we'll go run or something later". Grumbled Sirius taking some parchment himself.

"We could play with the snitch on the yard, bet Raven here can beat us all at catching it," said James taking some clay for himself.

Sirius sat down next to Raven and tried to teach him how to draw, after a few minutes he raised his fist in the air with a shout of joy. "Isn't that beautiful?" He asked proudly. 

Peter leaned over the painting and nodded, "Is this a sausage?" 

Sirius shouted insultingly, "It's a puppy, can't you see?" 

Peter studied the painting skeptically, "Look more like a sausage." He said with complete adjudication. Sirius punched him and he squealed and walked away. 

James smirked, "You're just a bad teacher, Pads." 

"More like a terrible painter." Peter muttered from a safe distance. 

James pulled Sirius out of the way and sat down on the chair, then pulled Raven to him and sat him on his lap. "Let the Master show you how to do it." He addressed Raven with a childish voice, "Shall we draw Uncle Sirius? Come on, Brother James will help you."

"Hey! Why you're a brother and I'm uncle?" Cried Sirius in protest. 

"Because he'll soon be Raven Potter, so I'm his big brother!" James put his tongue out at his good friend. "Now sit there quietly as we draw you!"

It took longer than James thought with little Raven giggling at the funny faces Sirius was doing to ruin James drawing but eventually he came up with something decent. 

"You didn't capture all my beauty en there" complained Sirius looking at James master piece.

"At least it looks human and it sort of looks a bit like you but to be honest none of you know how to draw" said Peter comparing the drawing to Sirius. 

"Do it your self if your so good" muttered Sirius putting a parchment in front of Peter. 

To everyone's surprise Peter's drawing turn out to be quite good. He draw a black bunny with a rat, a black dog, a stag and a (dog looking) gray wolf. 

"That's actually good Peter." Said Remus while finishing his own drawing of a sunny day. 

"How come we never knew you draw like that?" Asked an impressed Sirius. 

"You never asked and we didn't really needed to until now." Said Peter giving the drawing to Raven who looked at it awed.

They manage to make Raven draw some even trough it turn out to be more colorful lines here and there. 

After that they went to the yard and James let the snitch fly around them, it wasn't really fast nor it flew to high been a kids snitch so it wasn't so difficult to catch, still they had a good time doing it with them switching Raven from one to another to help him catch him.

The first time Raven seemed a bit confused but soon he understand what he was supposed to do and to James proud he did manage to catch the snitch. 

Child's giggles filled the place as they run around after a while they change the game to catch each other whoever had Raven had to catch the other making the little boy let loud happy noises with the game. 

It turned out to be real fun and every one ended all sweaty and tired but happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


	7. The Unexpected Meeting

Over the next few days, Raven improved wonders in activities. 

Every day the older boys - at least in age - would dress their new brother in different costumes and try to get him to do a little show that fit the character. The attempts at persuasion were of no avail, and it was often assumed that Sirius was running around the room and streaming like a horse, or James waving his arms in the air with cries of "Cococo!" 

They continued to draw, especially courtesy of lessons from Peter, it was one of Raven's favorite activities. But James and Sirius refused to leave the issue entirely in the rat's hands and so they continued with their failed attempts to draw. 

The boys played catches and hides, and also with the toys they bought at Hogsmade, but Sirius and James soon got bored of them and decided there wasn't enough to do at home. 

And so came another shopping trip carefully planned. 

"Another shopping..." Peter grumbled, "Even girls waste less then these two." 

Remus shrugged as he prepared Raven for the journey. "After so many years, you were supposed to get used to it..." 

"You can't get used to it... Why can't they sit still sometimes?" Peter said. 

Remus laughed, "That's what Muggles call 'ADHD'."

Raven looked adorable in his kitty outfit he was wearing black shorts with and attached tail that wiggled around and cat paw prints on the front and a black long sleeved shirt with a cat face printed on the middle it had a black hat with cat ears and black boots with paws on the sole. 

"Awwwww, come on, it should be illegal to be this cute!" Said Sirius ticking Raven's belly making the boy giggle and squirm. 

"I know, right? And those clothes definitely make it!" Said James while walking for breakfast. 

They all had breakfast together finally it was something different since Raven could already start eating a bit more just without overdoing himself, they made sure to respect the portions and the suggestions to make sure he would be ok. 

After finishing breakfast Remus took a bag with all they could need for the trip and they were going. 

Raven look a bit more calmed that the previous time and also more confident looking around without hiding himself in Remus neck.

They went first to an animal store since Raven seemed curios about them. There they looked at the different animals including puppies, kittens, owls and toads. Raven got to pet some of them and got very happy and exited about it.

"Maybe we'll get him a pet?" James asked enthusiastically. 

"I don't think your parents would be happy about that at the moment," Remus remarked, "maybe it's better to wait for him to grow a bit." 

He didn't bother to mention the fact that Raven may not be with them at the time, everyone was aware of it, but they denied. It may have been the result of the responsibility for a child's life that depends on them and maybe something else, but in the last few weeks they have become very attached to the child and did not want to think that someone might take him from them. James had already started calling him Potter Junior. 

"But when he's big it won't be that cute picture..." 

Remus laughed, "James, you will be surprised, but that's the way it is with little kids, even as they grow up they stay small for you." 

James turned his attention to his baby brother, "Sooner or later, I'll buy you a pet." He said, "I promise." He held out his little finger and waited for the kid to incorporate his own. 

Raven looked up at him and smiled innocently.

"Like this" said Sirius taking his little finger and interlocking it with James one.

"Now it's a promise." Wit that James smiled back at Raven and they got out of the store. They went to a couple more stores to buy more books, coloring sets, a ball to play on the yard and another one for the beach since they were already making plans to go. 

Once they were finished there Sirius suggested a trip to Diagon Alley, Remus look at Raven and saw him calm enough for them to try. Since he didn't want him to be scared he explained they were going to a place with more people and told him to pull the neck of his sweater if he felt sick or bad in anyway.

They flooed there and Remus made sure to stay still in one place to let Raven used to the amount of people in there. Thankfully it wasn't at its fullest but there were still more people than at hogsmade. 

He looked at the child who looked nervous at first and gave him a reassuring hug. "We can leave if you want no one will be mad. Do you want to leave?" Asked Remus while giving him a smile. 

Raven looked to the other boys the smiled at him and no one seamed mad he tough for a moment and the shook his head giving them a shy little smile.

"Great! You'll definitely be in Gryffindor, my brave little brother." Said James exited petting Raven's hair.

They decided to go to honeydukes first. They weren't going to load the little boy with sweets but they tough it could harm to have some around to give him now and then. 

Raven was amazed at the store and looking at every single thing. His black eyes were big and curious while looking around. They boys chuckled a little at the boy's cute expression.

"I suggest we split up so we can visit more stores but don't put on Raven too much." Remus said. 

"If you say." Sirius said, taking their brother out of Remus's hands, "but the kitty is going with me this time." 

Remus hesitated, looking as if he was going to withdraw from the offer. 

"Oh come on, Moony! Don't you trust me?" 

Remus raised his hands, "Okay, but be careful." 

Sirius smirked, "Careful is my second name!" 

"I'm serious!" 

"No, that's me. Oh, come on, Remi, what's could go wrong? Give me some credit. Let's go, see you later!" He walked away lightly with the boy in his arms.

"We're going to have so much fun Ray-Ray." Said Sirius tickling Raven's belly lightly making him giggle. 

"Oh, I know you will love Zonko it's one of the greatest shops in here" said Sirius exited while taking Raven to the store.

He was showing the raven some pranking cups and funny items when he got a glimpse of what looked like Regulus. He frowned not sure if he had seen it right but decided to check. He went after the boy who had passed outside of the store and tried following him trough he was faster than he looked and soon Sirius was passing throw a flow of people while trying not to lose him. 

He didn't knew how but when he was finally able to release himself from the mass of people he found out they were very deep in a place he shouldn't be. 

He looked around cautiously while securing his grab on Raven who also looked nervous as if sensing the wrongness of the place. 

He looked around trying to find Regulus but he was no where in sight so he decided it was best to go out of there as soon as possible.

He started walking around but didn't recognize anything. He was starting to get really worried as he kept walking when suddenly he heard a familiar voice calling his name.

At that moment he realized where he was. It was a Knockturn Alley and he had to get out as soon as possible. 

Unfortunately, he recognized the voice. Sirius tightened his grip on Raven and turned, facing his mother. 

She examined a signal and an unpleasant smile came to her lips, "So now I see why you ran away. You could have brought your son with you, maybe he would have turned out to be maturer and smarter than his father." 

Sirius opened his mouth and blinked in utter shock, "I... uh... what..?" 

Walburga Black examined Raven with her gaze, "I see the imagination, dark hair, dark eyes, fair skin, he is really more like our family than you. When was he born? A year ago?" 

"He's four... No, wait. That's not what I wanted to say! Errrr, he's not my son! Merlin! I'm only sixteen!"

"Don't lie to me you ungrateful brat, there's no way of denying the beauty of the pureblood in a child and don't make me laugh he doesn't appear more than two at most there isn't any posibility of him being four. Doesn't matter now that I know about it I'll make sure to raise him as a proper Black. Give him to me now!" Said Walburga screaming at him the last part. 

Raven made a scared whine as he clutched his little hands into fist on Sirius shirt. "You're scaring him you crazy wretch, there's no way in hell I'll ever let him near you let alone let you have him." Scream Sirius back at her while hugging the child.

"Fine, we'll do it the hard way then, I won't let you disgrace our family anymore." Said Walburga while taking out her wand. 

She send an incarcerous his way that Sirius barely manage to dodge on time, his mother became angrier and started sending hexes his way not caring for the people around.

Sirius knew he couldn't stand dodging infinitely hexes without risking Raven so he decided to run, he hated doing it since he wasn't a coward but he could risk Raven like, no we would protect him no matter what. 

He definitely didn't expect Walburga to start chasing them while throwing hexes and in another circumstances he would have laughed at how hilarious it was to have the lady Walburga Black running herself after her son trying to steal his baby, but at the moment it was more terrifying than funny as the hexes grew darker and closer. 

He needed to do something or he wasn't going to be able to scape her and he'd ratter hex himself than lose little Raven. 

He looked around trying to find something he could use but there was nothing more than a creepy alley with barely a person or two around that didn't look friendly enough to ask for help.

He could feel her getting closer when suddenly he saw an abandoned house, he bolted that way hoping for the best when an idea came to his mind.

He moved the child to his back while running. "Hold on really tight, okay, Raven? That's very important!" 

The boy didn't respond but Sirius felt the boy's grip around his neck tighten. 

The boy let out a cry as Sirius threw himself on four and suddenly transportated shape to a big black dog. In animal form, he increased his speed easily and tried to find the exit from the dark alleyway. 

After countless random inquiries, they finally found themselves in Diagon Alley. Padfoot slowed down and looked for a place to change back when he suddenly noticed James running towards him with a bark. 

James turned around and was taken aback by the picture, he quickly lifted Raven from Padfoot's back to the amazed eyes of some bystanders.

"What the hell Padfoot?" Said James while hugging the boy checking him for injures, he looked a little shaken but not terrified as James would think. 

Padfoot barked at him and nudge him to follow him, it took them a bit to find a lone street where he could transform back. 

When Sirius was finally able to he let out a sigh of relief as he was finally able to relax for a moment.

"What were you doing at Knokturn Alley with Raven?" Asked James angry.

"I... I'm really sorry I made a stupid thing... It's just I saw Reg and you know I haven't been able to speak to him since I left so I wanted to try but he got away real fast and while chasing him we entered Knokturn Alley without noticing, when I did it was too late". Said Sirius apologetically.

James sighed looking at his friend, he knew how much he loved Regulus and how it pained him not been able to speak or even see him. "All right, I get it, but why were you Padfoot and why on merlin you had Raven riding you?" 

"Yeah, that's a bit of a funny story, when I realized we were on there I tried to found the way out when I heard Walburga calling me and you won't believe it! She thought Raven was my son and tried to stole him by chasing us." Said Sirius laughing at the memory.

"What?" Asked James completely surprised. 

"Yeah, she was literally running behind me so I had to do something and you know how fast Padfoot is so I just had to try and it worked."

"Wow Pads, that is awesome, reckless and Moony will have a fit over it but awesome anyway."

"Yeah, and this little guy here was very brave, he didn't cry and did what I told him! He really has to be a marauder when he grows!" Said Sirius while taking Raven from James to hug him.

James looked at him strangely. 

"What?" 

"So your mother wants grandchildren?" 

"Don't even start." Sirius rolled his eyes, "I'm only sixteen, and Reg is fifteen, she's going to wait." 

James smirked, "But anyway... I can see where it came from." 

He laughed as Sirius punched him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked! :D


	8. The Beach

As expected once they were home Remus gave them quite the scolding for their little adventure. That night they put on him a pajama with dancing brooms which made Raven giggle as he kept touching them to make them squirm and dance.

The next day Raven got dressed like a little pumpkin and after breakfast they went to play on the yard. Sirius transformed into Padfoot once again so Raven could start working with his fear of wolfs. As he had already seen Sirius was the big black dog he didn't got scared. Soon after Padfoot was licking his face and running around, which was a funny sight with the boy on the pumpkin custom trying to grab the fluffy dog but been unable due to the roundness of the clothes. They played for hours and then had to change Raven custom since it had gotten all dirty with all the playing, after that Raven got to be an adorable looking dragon and then dressed on niffler pajamas.

That night they tried again with the plushie explaining first it was only a toy and wasn't going to hurt him. The little boy was reluctant at first but after what felt like an eternity he finally gave the plushie a quick touch withdrawing his hand right after but noticing nothing happened. He stilled looked at it with some caution and it wasn't his favorite one at all but at least he didn't got scared anymore.

Several days passed with the teenagers growing even more attached to the little boy, they started trying to teach him how to speak, he would look at them with curious eyes and mimic their words with his lips but no sound would be made.

It really worried Remus but James and Sirius where sure they were going to do it eventually so they kept trying everyday. Raven would also draw and play with his toys more confidently and they would all engage in a discussion every morning over the clothes he was to wear that day.

It was around a week later when they decided they needed to go out and not just shopping but really out. They started to plan were to go, so far they were between camping or a trip to the beach.

"I think little Ray-Ray would love the sea and he needs a bit of sun have you seen how pale he is? I mean it does look good on his dementor custom but he really needs a bit of color." Said Sirius while throwing a ball to said boy with the mentioned custom running around while making the clothes flow with the wind.

"But he could take sun in a camping too plus we can eat some marshmallow and tell stories around a fire." Said Peter.

"I think I'm with Pads this time, I mean we could even do both you know, camping on the beach one of the nights with the fire and everything." Said James while smiling at the vision of the toddler running around behind a bright red ball.

"That means a special garment needs to be found to dress him up!" Sirius leapt up the stairs and began to dig through his stock of clothes.

"Swimwear, Sirius." Remus mentioned.

Sirius examined them, "Ugh, Pete, why couldn't you find more interesting swimsuits? These are booooring!" Complained. Peter shrugged.

James pulled out one of the shirts he bought for a boy who was saying "Whatever happened, it's not my fault!" Sirius, who apparently accepted Raven's personal stylist position, objected, he examined another shirt written on it "A wizard never reveals his secrets." James demonstrated that if so, he would be the one to choose which toys they would take with them, ignoring Remus's saying that it might be better to let the child decide for himself. James examined the toys and realized that the stag furry was not even used once for a game, had to straighten the unfairness and so he decided that the best thing would be to take the plushie to sea.

Eventually, Raven was ready and they set off. They decided to go to Muggle Beach to avoid possible gossip among wizards.

Soon Peter helped Raven build a palace in the sand and the two seemed to enjoy, as they decided to bury Sirius in the sand and covered almost all of him, James noticed a figure with familiar red hair, "Mate, tell me, is this who I think this is?"

Sirius blinked sand from his eyes and tried to stretch his neck and look in the direction James was looking. "Looks like that." Confirmed.

James took a step towards the girl, but then remembered something, came back and lifted Raven from the sand, balancing it on his hip.

"Hi!" Peter and Sirius protested.

"Sorry, guys, but I have to lend my little brother," he stripped a rogue strand of hair that fell on Raven's eyes and winked, "girls love kids."

James took Raven with him and walked to the Redhead witch. "Lily!" He screamed while approaching her.

An exasperated Lily turned around to glare at the loud boy, "I told you not to use my name without my permission, I'm Evans to you". Once she had faced the boy she took notice of the baby hiding on his chest with a curious eye looking at her. Something on him was familiar but she couldn't point exactly what.

"Sorry, I keep forgetting, I just get lost on the beauty of your eyes and the entire world disappears for me." Said James with his best smile winking at her.

She rolled her eyes and shock her head before looking at the little child again. "Why do you have a baby and how on earth did you get here?" Asked Lily.

"This cute little guy is my baby brother and my parents apparated us here." Said James grinning.

The redhead decided to ignore him and focused her attention to the boy. "Hi, my name is Lily. What's your name?" She said while smiling to him gently.

Raven turned a little more to look at her better with big curious eyes. He returned her smile with a shy little one and then pointed a little finger to his hair.

"He won't answer, he doesn't speak yet, but we're still trying, anyway his name is Raven." Answer James instead.

She frowned worried. "Is he mute from birth?"

"I don't think so, he makes sounds and stuff just won't say anything, but I'm not sure, you see, we actually found him and have been taking care of him but we don't know that much." James said to her.

"Then why you said he was your brother? He doesn't even looks like you, he's cute." She said smiling again to the baby.

"He's cute and I'm handsome, but he is my baby brother because if his family doesn't appears we are going to keep him, we're already a family. And he loves me I'm his hero you see." Said James puffing out his chest with pride.

"Not so sure you're the best influence but I guess It's better than nothing. At least you did something good by saving him." She said.

Raven looked curious from one to the other and lower his head shyly when she tried to pet his hair. At that moment Sirius decided to join them and took Raven putting him on his feet taking his hand with the intention on taking Raven back with him and Peter to keep building castles.

Raven looked at Lily and gave him a little smile.

"Oh, you're so shy, you remind me of a little boy I knew, he used to be my best friend, you know..." she said since now she could point the boy reminded her of Severus.

At that James and Sirius faces got a deep frown and Sirius quickly snapped. "I hope you're not refering to Snivellus, Evans, cause that would be insulting."

Lily snapped right back at him, "He has a name and it's definitely not that horrendous insult, you didn't even knew him I know he has make some mistakes and maybe right now he isn't at his best but he was very nice when we were kids."

Sirius pursed his lips in an ugly sneer, "Yeah? Well let me tell you I think _Severus_ ," he said the name in a sarcastic hateful way making Raven look up at the mention of the name, "is nothing more than a evil ugly worthless freak if you ask me shouldn't even exist."

"Pads right, he is a true git no wonder no one likes him, he's got no friends even you realize how bad he is." Said James with Peter nodding along.

Before Lily could reply to them Raven suddenly started crying, fat tears running trough his cheeks, with desperate sobs, James tried to approached him to see what was wrong but when the boy looked at them trying to grab him he bolted and started running as far away from them as he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked! :D


	9. The Snivellus' Secret

Severus runs.

He didn't really know where, but he ran with all his might where his little feet could take him.

Everything was false. Really? Bitter tears rolled down his cheeks and he just kept running.

He loved being Raven, it was such a fun game, something he never experienced. Raven had a good life. But he was Severus, it was his real one...

These boys, the ones who played with him and made him feel acceptable, preferably... happy. Something that was foreign to him and so necessary... But these boys didn't like Severus.

New tears blurred his vision and he blurted out less miserable. It was better that he did not exist... He did not need to be told, he knew himself, but he thought... it... might be different. He wasn't worthy enough.

His foot hit a rock on the soft sand and he fell on his face, hot sand stuck to his damp face and Severus coughed, trying to clear his mouth of he granules that blocked his breath.

He could remember his da telling him how much of a stupid useless freak he was with every punch and hit he received, he could remember hearing him say how much of a mistake he was, a monster, and how he had ruined his life. Even his mom who tried to heal him as best as what little they had allowed it, had said it sometime how her life had been better before Severus had ruined everything.

He cough again feeling his throat dry and painfully raspy.

He didn't knew what he did wrong this time, he hasn't done any freakish thing his had hurt him for since he had learn to repress it, not that it stoped his da from disliking him but he thought it would make this boys like him.

But now they knew... they knew how bad he was and he didn't know what to do, whatever he had done bad now they hated him and he wasn't going to be allowed back but he didn't know if he could go back to his mom and da, he had woke up in that weird train place after one of his dad's beatings and he didn't remember anything after passing out so maybe he had abandoned him there finally deciding to get rid of him, it that had happened then he couldn't go there either, his da would get mad at seen him back and he didn't even knew how to go home.

He hiccup with his crying getting a bit louder, he didn't think he could repress his freakiness much longer and that scared him.

With puffy eyes he looked around, he was lost and far from were the boys had been. His throat was still dry but hurt a little less, his body started to shake as he closed his eyes and bit his lip hard, he tried to breath and stoped anything bad from happening.

Severus stood on shaky feet and started walking, he had to walk away. He had no place with these boys... he had no place at all.

His vision faded with tears and he continued on his way without noticing anything, when suddenly he crashed into something solid.

He heard an angry growl, it was something he had heard so many times... it was never good for him. The boy raised his head, in front of him stood a big man, he was as big as Da, he was much tan, but he smelled as funny as he did. Severus swallowed, it must have been one of Da's friends he always laughed with and told them insults.

Severus stepped back but the man reached out a big and strong hand and closed it tightly around Severus's hand, the place immediately started to hurt and Severus immediately let out an involuntary sob.

He bit his lip hard. No. It was forbidden to speak. Prohibited, prohibited, prohibited. When he was quiet people could forget. He could forget. Play like he was air... He tried, he really tried, but he couldn't control the sounds he emitted. It's bad, bad, bad! It will only cause him more pain. It would only give people something that could hurt him. It would be better to sit still and pretend that he does not exist. Severus closed his eyes. He does not exist. Doesn't exist...

Why can't he just not exist?

The man look angry at the little menace that had made him spill some of his beer, he was so gonna make him pay for it!

He raise his hand and slapped the little boy on the face, it made him scream, he was just about to land a second hit this time with his fist closed when he heard suddenly someone yelling at him to stop. In no time he had two very angry teenagers in front of him.

"What the hell you think you doing, you pig!" Screamed James at him putting himself between Raven and the man.

"Dis little shit mae me spill mae beerrr!" slurred the man tightening the grab on the boys arm.

Raven sobbed confused and pained he didn't knew what they were doing there since they didn't want him anymore or that's what he had thought.

Sirius punched the man's arm to make him let go of the little boy. "You hurt him you bastard, what's wrong with you?! He's just a baby!" Said a fuming Sirius looking at the bruising on Raven's arm and cheek.

"Bloody noisy childeen ima make you respct mae," said the man without imagining Sirius was was going to throw himself at him and punch him in the face making him fall.

James quickly took Raven on his arms and they got away from the man. Dragging Sirius before he did some real damage even if he did wanted to hurt the man for what he did to Raven.

Once they were far from the man James let Raven down and checked him over, he was covered in sand even his little face was full of it and he had a few scrapes on his knees and hands apart from the already darkening bruises on his face and arm.

James looked sadly and guilty at the child, it had been their fault this happened. He remember what lily told them.

_"Why do you have to be always so immature and mean? Look you can't keep saying those things without care and less in front of a child, he may have heard them before... I've seen boys like him so shy and subdued and if it is what I think he probably heard those mean words before maybe even towards him. If you truly love him and care for him you need to grow up and let go of your childish displays that will hurt him. He needs someone to trust, so grow up already!" She sighed "Let's go find him you should apologize for what you said when we find him."_

James took a deep breath. "Raven, we are very sorry for what we said." Sirius joined him "Yes, we really didn't mean any of it and won't ever do it again, promise."

James hugged him "We really love you and care for you, we were so worried when you run away and now I feel awful because you got hurt because of it." James eyes were sincere and Raven could see the care on them, more tears fall from his red puffy eyes, he could see they care and still wanted him since they had come looking for him and save him. He still didn't understand why they had say those things of him but he could see they really felt bad for it.

"Could you forgive us?" Asked James as Sirius joined them on the lose hug. Raven didn't have to think much so he nodded, of course he would forgive them, they hadn't said any lie before about him but they were still here and even had apologized something his da had never done! So he was so happy they still wanted him because even if they knew how little he was worth and how bad of a child he was, they still wanted him.

James smiled glad of having fix things and of how very wonderful his baby brother was. Lily's word keep rounding in his head, maybe they really needed to change, he loved Raven even if they only had gotten him for a few weeks, he really wanted to be a better person someone Raven could look up and follow, a good man that give a good example. There were lots of things he will need to change some were going to be very difficult but he was going to try, this little guy with his cute smile and loving forgiving eyes was worth it.

As they approached Remus, Peter and Lily, Raven was already asleep on James's shoulder. The little boy seemed to be getting tired of his adventure.

Sirius angrily told what they had witnessed to the rest. Lily looked at the little boy sympathetically, looking at the bruises he had sustained. "You can deny it, but he has much more in common with Severus than you imagine." She said quietly.

James opened his mouth to make an annoyed comment, but paused as he felt the boy move in his arms. He looked down at the toddler and closed his mouth.

"What do you mean?" Remus asked.

Lily lightly stroked Raven's black hair, her hand stopping over a purple blow to his cheek. "That. That man was quite similar to Sev's father, though, he never admitted it, but people talk, in a small town everyone is aware."

"What? What are you talking about?" James frowned and Lily sighed.

"She means Snape's father is violent." Remus said quietly.

"What?" Exclaimed Sirius, "Do you want to tell me he is hurting him?"

"Yes, he does. I just imagine that if Severus was younger and his protective sarcasm shell didn't exist yet, he would act just like Raven."

The boys looked stunned. For a long time they did nothing but stare at the red-haired girl, and then their eyes turned to the sleeping child, his little face smooth, but a hint of restlessness was evident on him. Raising a child turned out to be more complicated than it seemed.

"It's just... when I met Sev he was a little older than Raven but just like him he looked smaller than he actually was and he was always shy." She said remembering him fondly while a sad smile appear on her lips.

"He started getting defensive because of how the other people in town treated him, then we got at Hogwarts and things didn't improve. He always said these accidents happened whenever I saw him hurt but he wasn't clumsy." Lily sigh and stood up getting ready to leave.

"Sometimes I wished I could have done more to help him, that's why it's so hard to be mad at him, he's not really bad just have make wrong decisions. Please help Raven make sure if his parents appear that he won't be hurt, it may be too late for Sev but you can help Raven."

"We will protect him I never want to see him hurt again and I... we didn't knew about Snape... maybe it's not going to make any difference but we'll try to lay off him." Said James frowning he was having a hard time picturing snape as an abused child but he didn't want to contribute in something like that he still thinks he was a git but maybe they could just ignore each other.

Sirius was having even a harder time while he thought Snape was bad for wanting to be just like his crazy pureblood family he couldn't deny he now got a bit of why he was such a bastard it was still odd and he wasn't sure how to feel about it all but he still had time before they had to face each other.

Remus felt awful he always notice something wrong on the slytherin and those marks on Raven... thinking of people suffering like that made him feel wrong and he felt specially guilty over Snape after all that had happen maybe he could try to make things better when they got back.

Peter himself just decided he was going to help them care for Raven he didn't had any opinion on Snape he mostly just went along if they stop he would too, but Raven was other thing all of them had grown to love the boy, so he decided he was going to make sure the boy had a good time when he got awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drama is fun :D hope you liked!


	10. The Summer House

"Sirius!" 

The screams of James standing in the doorway echoed throughout the large house. 

"I'm coming!" Shouted Sirius back from the second floor. 

"Seriously, what is taking him so long?" 

"Maybe he's dressing Raven again." Remus suggested that he had just left the kitchen, wiping his hands with a checkered kitchen towel. 

"Raven's here." Peter noted and pointed to the little boy sitting next to him and assemble a puzzle. 

Raven was dressed like a Lolita doll, with a red cape covering his head, Remus said it was a 'Red Ridding Hood' costume from the muggle fairytales. He told this story the previous evening, when they put Raven to sleep, in fact, the three teenagers were so overwhelmed by the story that they constantly disturbed Remus as he told. 

"He finished dressing him an hour ago." Peter added. 

Remus frowned, "So where is he really?" 

"I can't hear you, but I'll come soon!" Read Sirius's voice again. 

"What are you doing there at all?" Remus asked. 

"Dressing of course, not only Raven have to look good, you know." 

"How can you dress for so long?" Grumbled Peter. 

James smirked, "Probably the Black Family's towering habits." 

"Hi!" Sirius protested furiously, "I hear that!"

Peter rolled his eyes, "Of course you are, you hear like an elephant..." 

"Mate, we'll late because of you!" Shouted James. 

"But didn't your parents—" Peter began, James punching him and silencing him. 

But then Sirius exclaimed from the top, "Stop going crazy, James, we can't late, your parents take us to your summer home."

James sour his face to Peter, who would just shrug his defensively, "What? He couldn't hear me..."

"SI-RI-UUUU-S!"

There were some falling objects, smashing glass, and Sirius's voice filtering a curse. "Look what happened because of you!"

Sirius finally appear on the room stomping his feets, he sent a glare to James, he was wearing a full body custom of what looked like a more brown version of padfoot.

"What on earth are you wearing? A dog suit?" Asked Peter looking at Sirius.

"Are you blind? I'm a really awesome wolf! Look at the tail dude, I'm Raven partner he's little red riding hood and I'm the wolf, so now I'm the only one allowed to carry him today!" Said a very proud Sirius getting closer to Raven who looked at him and smiled taking his little hand closer to touch the custom.

"See he loves it! I'm a way cooler big bro." Said Sirius smirking at James while picking up Raven that seemed entertain by touching the fur on Sirius body.

"That's stupid I'm Raven big brother and his favorite person in the world and I don't need to wear a custom to show it" said James sending a glare to Sirius.

Remus looking at the fight bubbling up decided to stop it before it started. "Stop it both of you Raven loves us all the same and I'm sure he would be very sad to look at his older brothers fighting over something like that." 

"Ok guess your right but still I'm taking him today cause we look cool together." Said Sirius hugging Raven while sending puppy eyes to the others. 

"Fine whatever we need to go mom and dad are waiting for us." Mumbled James but before he could get away a tiny hand grabbed him.

Raven smiled to James melting his heart and to everyone surprise he motion him to hug him and Sirius. Both boys smiled at that understanding what the little boy wanted and soon the five of them were in a group hug giggling and feeling great. 

"Ok no more fighting let's go." Said James happily. They grabbed some toys and Remus handed Raven a little plushie basket that went with his custom he put some sweets in there for them to eat after lunch. 

Finally every one exited the house and they meet James parents who apparated all of them to a near field that had green grass, some trees, a little river nearby and so they went to a spot under a big tree where they put a large blanket and some baskets that had the lunch on them.

"I'm so happy to be able to have some time together." Said Euphemia to her family. She already considered all the boys as their family.

For a while, everyone just enjoyed a quiet, cozy meal under the warm sun. 

"Well, it was nice and everything, but I have some things to do with my little bro." Stated Sirius. He got up and shook crumbs from his pants, then picked up Raven and took him a short distance away. 

"What is he doing there?" James narrowed his eyes and stared at the whispering pair, well, Sirius whispered something in Raven's ear and the little one giggled. 

"James, you sound jealous." His mother scolded him. 

"I do not!" James protested firmly, but did not look away from his two adopted brothers. 

Eventually, the two returned to the family and stated that they were doing a show. It was a difficult experience, mainly because Raven had not yet spoken, but Sirius also made strange mistakes, especially when the wolf rescued the little Red Ridding Hood from her evil grandmother who had married the woodcutter and tried to poison the Red with a poisoned apple. 

With Remus's help, and countless patches and laughs from Peter, the play is finished. The two black haired boys bowed dramatically, and then James declared it was their turn. 

They tried to repeat the show, but as far as Muggle culture was concerned, James was just as proficient in as Sirius. To this simple story, were added fairies that cursed Red Riding Hood to lose her voice and she had to run away so the pirates would not kidnap her. 

In the end, Remus would look pretty exhausted while everyone else laughed in amusement. Raven was excited, he smiled and looked just happy, making everyone who present smile like fools.

After that little Raven hand out the sweets on his basket to everyone. They had a great time and played some more before they decided to take a little walk around. 

Raven was amazed by every little thing and enjoyed the walk a lot, they walked to the river where they decided to look at the fish in there and of course James and Sirius tried unsuccessfully to catch one. They suddenly had an idea an Sirius went with James dad to ask him to retrieve some stuff from home since they had decided to stay in there until the next day. 

While Remus and Peter helped arrange some tent for them to sleep in and some wood to later start a fire Sirius and Fleamont got back. 

Sirius got some new clothes for himself and another couple of customs for Raven since his Red riding hood one had gotten dirty with all the playing.

He also took out of the bottomless bag two brooms but the moment he got them out Raven let out a scared cry and covered himself, his tiny arms protecting his head. 

"Hey what's wrong? It won't hurt you!" Said James approaching the scared child and gently trying to make him look up. 

"I think he is afraid of them, looked like he through he was going to be hit by it." Said Peter looking worried at Raven remembering Lily's words of him being abused. 

"Why did you bring them here? It's dangerous and Raven is definitely not riding one, he's to small for that and he's scared of them." Said Remus giving them a serious look.

"But moony we need to show him how cool it is to fly! I'm sure he'll stop fearing them once we are on the air." Whined Sirius.

"I said no and it's final, this is not a good idea from wherever you look at it so just let it go, let's change Raven he needs some clean clothes." Said Remus taking the child from Sirius.

Sirius and James shared a look and decided to let it go for now, they'll figure it out later.

"So at least a bonfire!" James stated. 

Remus stopped and looked at him hesitantly. 

Sirius nodded, "Come on, Moony, we're on vacation! We have to sit around a bonfire and tell scary stories!" 

Remus's gaze hardened and his grip on the little boy grew stronger. 

"So without scary stories!" James intervened before Remus had the chance to refuse, "Just sit down for a while and roast marshmallows! Come on, Raven must have never experienced it!" 

The last argument must have been the thing that convinced Remus, because he looked at the little boy who looked completely curious and unreachable and sighed. 

"Okay, but—" 

"Yes, yes, very carefully." Sirius interrupted him, completing the sentence vigorously. 

Remus just sighed again.

Meanwhile the boy had a great time around the fire with a giggling Raven enjoying the moment, on a muggle town called Cokeworth a redhead witch was arriving her home with her family after a couple of weeks on the beach for vacation. 

Meeting Raven had removed something on Lily, now she felt worried and guilty for abandoning her friend, she knew he had done something very bad but still she could have at least listen to him, she knew sometimes she let her emotions got the best of her. Still maybe it wasn't to late. 

Tomorrow she decided while preparing herself to sleep she was going to visit him at his home they would have a lot to work on but maybe there was still a chance for them, Lily thought while smiling at the memory of the little child with his shy smile and cute big black eyes maybe they could even get some help from Sev to understand the child. With that last idea she went to sleep without knowing what expected her the very next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked! Thanks for reading!


	11. The Accident

At first, they planned to sleep in a tent they built outside the Potters summer house, but in the middle of the night they had to go back inside. 

James carried Raven that sobbing in his chest, frightened by a nightmare he dreamed and they were quick to find the parents. Euphemia took Raven from her son's arms and waved him lightly, muttering to him softly. After almost an hour, they managed to put him to sleep and lay down themselves. 

But the late hour was nothing to stop James and Sirius's plans. As early as ten o'clock, which was a particularly early hour for the two to get up during a vacation, they wore their Quidditch uniforms that they always took with them wherever they went and carried their brooms. 

"Now, Raven, look at us riding, it's amazing." James promised, climbing on his broom stick. 

Raven sat securely on Remus's lap, with the adult boy's arms wrapped around him, just to be sure. 

Sirius winked at the viewers and blew a kiss in the air towards the little boy. "It's just the most fun thing there is!"

Raven still looked a bit reluctant but a bit of curiosity won him so he looked a the boys flying around the house. 

"Look Ray-Ray I'm awesome! I bet I can ride faster than you!" Screamed Sirius challenging James.

"In your dreams padfoot! I'm way better than you!" With that both teenagers started racing to prove who was better. After a while Remus and Peter got bored and decided to go back to the house with Raven for a nap. 

They were already asleep when the boys finally notice their audience had gone away.

"They abandoned us prongs!" Whinned Sirius.

"Worst they took Raven with them, come on let's search for them." 

They enter the house and after a few minutes they found them sleeping. 

Little Raven was on his own bed so James carefully of not making any noise took the little boy on his arms and carried him to the yard. 

Once outside the boy woke up with the sun light. He open his big black eyes and looked at James smiling at him the moment his eyes focus on who was holding him. 

"Hey Ray- Ray wanna fly with us? Bet you gonna love it" said Sirius.

Raven still looked at the broom a bit wary. "Hey there's nothing to be afraid you're with us" Said James confidently. 

Raven wasn't still sure about it but looking at both older boys so exited made him nod slowly.

"Magnificent!" James shouted and swung his broom in the air. 

James handed Raven to Sirius, "Get him behind me." He sat down on his broom and waited for Sirius to balance the little boy on the stick behind him. "Hold me tight, budy, okay?" He signaled on his shirt, "Here, hold it. Oh! Or better yet, hug my waist." He waited until he felt the small arms twist slowly around him and the clenched fists on his bellies tenacity his shirt fabric tightly. 

He felt the boy tremble on his back, "Come on, Ray-Ray, it's not scary at all, I'll take care of you and we'll have fun!" 

Sirius encouraged him, "Right, little bro," he ruffled his black hair, "everyone wants to fly, right? Like a fairy... or an angel! Just a dream come true." 

Raven seemed to be protesting but he lowered his head and nodded slightly.

Once Sirius got on his broom the both of them took off. They started flying slowly around the yard not to high to let Raven get comfortable with the feeling.

The little boy still had a tight grip on James his little hands in fist as he tried to keep himself from crying.

"Look Raven the view is awesome from here!" Said Sirius pointing to the field with the river beside them.

The little boy cautiously opened his eyes and looked at the trees and grass below them. It was a nice view that managed to distract a little the child from his growing fear. 

The boys started going a bit higher and closer to the field, also a bit faster. 

"Look you can see the fish from here". Said James pointing to the River.

They started pointing interesting things around the place and little by little Ravens hold on James started to lessen. 

His big black eyes looked to all the places the teenagers pointed to. He was so invested in the view he didn't notice Sirius playful smirk nor the silent challenge he sent towards James, who looked a bit reluctant at first but soon enough let himself get convinced to play a friendly race around the place.

Slow flight was not the horse of the two reckless boys, and as always they were quick to get caught up in challenges and competitions. 

They began to fly faster and chase after each other, shouting over the wind blowing in their ears. They forgot to notice the height and speed and James didn't notice that the grip around his waist was loosening. 

Raven leans on the back of his adopting brother, trying to breathe in the increasing pressure in his chest, the whole view below looks like scattered and blurry patches of color. The boy's head felt dizzy and his eyes ached. His smooth hands from sweat and adrenaline was missed the grip on James's shirt and Raven slipped. 

"James!" Sirius suddenly screamed.

It was like an eternity and at the same time to fast to be stoped, both boys watch as if on slow motion the little boy falling to the river as they desperately tried to grab him before he reached the bottom.

His black eyes were wide open and full of fear, and in the blink of an eye he fall to the river with a rough hit landing on some rocks that manage to hit his head, arm and other parts of his body.

The boy got unconscious from the hit and the water started to drag him pushing him to through the cold water. 

Sirius and James didn't even think twice and both bolted to the river in a frenetic search for the little boy.

The boy fluttered in the water, but did not come to the surface. James and Sirius stormed without further thought to the place where Raven dived, trying to catch him and bring him to a safe shore. 

A few precious minutes they struggled with the water, but in the end James managed to grab his little brother's thin arm and pull him out of the water. For a moment the three of them lay on the bank exhausted, Sirius glanced at Raven. 

"It's really not good..." he murmured. 

James leaned over the unconscious Raven and tried to pat him on the back, "What are we supposed to do?" He asked distressed. 

The boy was paler than ever, his eyes closed and small drops of water clinging to the dark lashes that rested peacefully on his cheek. His lips were blue and a sharp, bloody cut opened on the side of his head, starting from the bone of his left cheek and engulfed in his black hair. 

"He's not moving!" Sirius exclaimed, "James, he is not moving!" 

"I know!" James shouted back in panic and tugged at his wet hair, "I don't know what to do!" 

"What if he suffocates?! He must have swallowed water! How do you get it out?!"

Remus and Peter arrived that moment looking scared and Remus pushed James to get to the little boy that was turning slightly blue, he quickly started giving the boy mouth to mouth breathing while pushing on his little chest internally grateful for all the muggle and magical classes of medical assistance he had taken due to his furry little problem.

They could all feel the tension around them only disrupted by their sobs until finally some coughing was heard and the little boy started throwing up water while his little body started shaking.

Remus carefully helped him sit while Peter gave him his coat and Sirius ran home to call for help. 

There was blood around them from some scraps he had gotten while hitting the rocks and his left arm was in a weird angle with some blood pouring from a deep slash. 

James parents approached them with a very agitated and pale Sirius and carefully Fleamont took Raven and carried him to their summer house.

Raven was still very pale and shaking looking very scared. James was completely shocked by what just had happened as he just automatically followed everyone to the house.

Raven was put on his bed while a healer was called. Remus couldn't control his self anymore and turned to Sirius and James with a very angry look on his eyes.

"Why?...How could you do something so irresponsible? You could have killed him!!" Screamed Remus with tears on his eyes.

Sirius and James were also crying and to ashamed to even try to defend themselves knowing it was true, it had been their fault, they had been stupid again but this time it had worse consequences than ever. 

"M-Me..fault, no mad, me fault..." was suddenly heard on the room in tiny trembling voice. The voice was weak but familiar and yet everyone froze in shock, knowing for sure they had never heard it before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun duuuun!


	12. Not So Mute

Everyone turned to where little Raven was and he was looking at them with such a sad fearful look on his face it made them feel even worse.

"R-Raven? N-No it wasn't... oh Merlin... it could never be your fault... it was us who were reckless a-and..." A sob scaped James trembling lips as he looked at the little child all pale, bruised and hurt trying to defend them, "we shouldn't h-have done it..." finished James feeling the guilt eating him. 

Raven with a lot of effort moved slightly his head from one side to the other and with that awfully weak sounding tiny voice added "me... f-fault... n-no.. grab.. me b-bad... m-me f-fault.." it was the last Raven could said before a man in white robes rushed to the room and the boys were pushed aside.

"Oh, sweetie," Euphemia knelt beside Raven, trying not to disturb the healer but to stay close to the frightened little boy. It broke her to see the broken and anxious look on the face of the young boy, but the worst thing was the resignation, as if he knew something really bad was going to happen and accepted it. "It's not your fault at all. You did nothing wrong, and you are not responsible for the choices that made your brother, that are supposed to be bigger." She addressed the last words to the two boys who stood aside with downcast looks. 

"No... it m-me..." Raven shook his head slightly, the action made him spin and vomit on himself, soiling the Quidditch uniform James had bought for him. His vision swam before him and he could not control the weak sobs of pain. 

The hearts of those present went out to the little boy, he was in so much pain and anyway struggled to try to protect the two boys who put him in danger. 

The healer entered between them and blocked their field of vision. "The child is too agitated by your presence. I ask you to come out so I can diagnose him." 

Reluctantly, the Potter family and the marauders left the room and waited in the hallway, anxious for developments. Peter walked back and forth by the door to the room, biting his birds nervously. Fleamont, Euphemia and Remus, all three stared at James and Sirius and made the two boys wish they could disappear from there or be swallowed up in the ground. 

"I hope you have a very good explanation, young men." Sifted through beauty with narrowed eyes. 

James swallowed and tried to exchange a look with his friend, but Sirius just stared at the spot on the floor and was silent.

They didn't pushed it for the moment due to everyone's mind being on the baby boy on the other room, time was passing slowly, to slowly for their liking. Eventually Euphemia made everyone a cup of tea. 

After an awful long time the door was open and the healer came out, his robe covered in blood stains that everyone worried. 

"He is stable for now but in a very delicate state I couldn't use to much magic on him, his body is fighting a severe pneumonia and he had a significant loss of blood, I had to give him potions and heal as much as I could of the body damage, but he broke his arm which was also torn open will have to be left to heal without magic care and he will have some scars on said arm due to this. I was able to close the wound on his head but we will need to check up on him for any concussion." 

"B-But he will heal?" Asked a fearful Peter.

"I will need to monitor him through the night, if his lugs keep working as they should and he doesn't suffer any seizure or attack then he will be more likely to recover but it will still need a lot of care." Said the doctor with a serious expression.

"A scar..?" Sirius murmured, his eyes turning to the healer with a shocked look. Flealmont looked sharply at the pair of boys and they both swallowed loudly. 

The healer nodded, "In the best case scenario, a scar will remain only on his arm, but I'm afraid the pointed stripe between his cheekbone and the temple won't gone either. I'm sorry." 

Euphemia bit her lower lip, prevented her from grazing and sighed lightly, "It's not your fault, Doctor, we greatly appreciate your efforts." 

Palmont nodded, "We know you're doing your best. Thank you." 

The healer's gaze got used to it a bit and he nodded in approval, before turning to return to his patient. 

James trembled, "It's all my fault..." he murmured, he could not shake the shock that made him think that Raven would remain a scar as a result of his mistake. He knew it was wrong to be so shocked by the child's outward appearance instead of the internal traumas he might suffer later, but he could not help. 

"It certainly is." Cut him Remus sharply.

"No I was the one to nudge you to race, I ruined it as always it was my idea in the first place." Said Sirius looking somber.

"Why can't you listen? Why do you always have to do things your way without even considering consequences? Why don't you care for others lifes more? " Said Remus angry not only referring to this event.

The hint got to both boys who if possible looked even more miserable. Peter let out a strangled cry as he held the bunny plushie Raven had left on the living room. 

"This is our fault as well" said Fleamont. "We shouldn't have left all his care to you, we should have been more attentive and helped you more." Euphemia nodded at that while looking disappointed and hurt. 

"You need to grow up, this time for real. I won't cover you anymore." Said an angry Remus before leaving the room.

"You know, he never got over it..." Peter murmured to Sirius. 

Sirius opened his mouth to answer, but apparently no answer came up on his tongue and he closed his mouth back. He had nothing to say, he knew it was true. 

Peter glanced at them and looked sadly at the furry bunny, before turning around and following Remus. 

Fleamont placed a hand on his son's shoulder and startled him in motion. "I know it was unintentional, son, but every action has consequences." His voice was quiet but strong, "It's unfortunate that it should have happened that way, but maybe that's what makes you realize that not everything in life is a game. We are facing war, in order to defeat our enemies, we must being smarter, strategy, you must not jump into danger." The man looked seriously at the two boys, "If you keep seeing everything as just a game, you will end up killing yourself, in the best case scenario." 

"In the best case scenario?" Sirius returned. 

Fleamont nodded, "In the worst case, you will take with you more lives of innocent people."

Sirius and James were left speechless with Fleamont's words. That night no one was able to sleep as they were all to nervous for Raven. 

During the night Raven had breathing difficulties and had a coughing fit that left him even weaker, the healer had a hard time keeping his temperature from raising to dangerous degrees. 

It was a very hard night and next morning wasn't better as they receive the news of Raven's not so good development. 

James and Sirius got grounded having to help around the house and being forbidden from going out during the rest of the summer. Once Raven got better they were going back home. None of it pained them as the knowledge of what they had cause to Raven.

Remus wasn't really speaking to them and every time he looked at them he gave them an angry glare. Their parents looked worried and so very disappointed it hurt both of them and Peter didn't had much to say being worried sick for Raven so he barely said a word to them.

But the strangest thing about all these happenings was that Raven himself was not angry and showed them nothing but faint smiles. 

This sweet boy was like a ray of sunshine, and they were afraid to be blinded. They were right on tiptoe next to him and very careful, it was hard for them to even meet the child's big dark eyes. 

The kid did not blame them and the brighten them his face, but the boys could not calm down, because even if the kid did not know it, they knew, they felt inside and it was terrible. Blame. 

This feeling was so foreign to them, that they felt suffocated. This is not something they were used to dealing with ever before... and judging by their parents and Remus, they were supposed to. It was so confusing. 

Another crushing guilt blossomed in the chest of the two boys when they saw for the first time the thin scar on the side of their little brother's face, on a tanned skin it would probably have been thrown into the eye immediately, but on the milky pale skin of the boy, the thin white stripe would hardly be seen. 

Still, he was right there. Forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll glad to hear your thoughts!


	13. The Nightmare

Lily Evans woke up that morning with a resolution, she was going to mend thing with her former best friend and do her best to help him get back from that dark path he had gotten himself. 

She had breakfast with her parents and told them in a determinate tone she was going to see Sev, both of them were relieved they were finally sorting out things since they could see how sad their daughter had been last summer after their fight and they also missed the shy boy they had gotten used to having on their home. 

She first decided to go to their park, she knew he sometimes still went there since it held a special place in both of their hearts being the place it had all started. 

As she walked around she couldn"t see him around. She walk to one of their neighbours an old lady that went there everyday to feed the birds. 

"Good morning Mrs. Wembley, have you seen Severus here today?" Asked Lily.

"Oh good day Lily, no I'm afraid I haven't...and now that yo mention it I don't believe I have seen him in a while, not during this time for sure." Replied the old lady with a thoughtful look.

Lily was surprised to heard that and definitely worried, she walked around town then asking for him to the other places she knew he frequented but she always got the same answer no one had see him nor knew anything about him.

After having spend all morning walking around without any result she finally decided to went to his home, she usually avoided it since Sev got very stressed out whenever she was close there, afraid his dad would said o do something. 

The few times she had been there had been when Mr. Snape was out and Mrs. Snape had been the one home, she was nice enough but not very talkative and didn't stay around to much, she also always seemed lost on her mind to pay them much attention, still Lily hoped she was the one home today since it would make things easier.

But the man who opened the door was Tobias. Severus' father looked shabby and unstable more than ever, he smelled of alcohol and Lily grimaced and took a step back. 

"Good afternoon, Mr. Snape, is Severus at home?" 

The man looked at her blankly for a long moment, before his lips twisted into a cold mockery, too identical to Sev's face and Lily swallowed, even before she heard the piercing, horrifying words. 

"That's a joke? The filth hasn't come home this year." The man muttered with such indifference to his son's life that Lily taking an involuntary step back. 

"W-what..?" 

"What you heard," Tobias picked up a half-empty bottle of beer and examined it, "if that's all, then get out of my sight." 

"But why?" Lily finally managed to crackle. 

Tobias turned his gaze to her, looking visibly surprised that the girl was still there. "How can I know? Probably mourning the death of his mother somewhere or whatever." 

"W-what?" Lily whispered, her eyes widening. 

The man looked annoyed, "Are you deaf or something, girl? Your friend is not here, that's it, go away."

With that Tobias roughly pushed her out and close the door on her face. As she stumbled out she found her mind in chaos, not only had she found out Severus was missing but also his mother had passed away and his awful father didn't even care. 

Tears started to fall from her eyes as she hugged herself and walked back home, she still didn't want to believe it, he had suffer a terrible loss and she hadn't been there for him, even if they weren't close anymore she knew how much he cared for his mother, how worried he was for her all the time, had she known she would have being with him in those difficult times no matter her anger to him at the moment. 

It made her feel pained and guilty for abandoning him, and she really didn't wanted to believe Mr. Snape of him being missing but he had no reason to lie to her which make her anxious as she started thinking of all the possible scenarios of what could have happen to Severus. 

She sobbed as she approached home feeling her heart been squeezed on her chest. She needed to do something she needed to find him. 

When she entered home her parents where there sitting together on the couch watching the tv.

"Lily! Dear what's wrong, what happened?" Asked her mother worried after looking at her. 

"H-he..S-Sev is-i-is missing" said Lily between sobs. 

"What?" Asked her dad helping her sit on the couch.

"No-one knows where he is, he hasn't being seen this summer a-and his father said he never got home...and oh g-god...his mum...his mum passed away and I didn't knew." Finished lily with a loud cry.

Both parents looked at each other with a guilty stare.

Lily grasped the gesture, "Wait, did you know? Why didn't you say anything?" 

"We tried," her mother began to say, "but you did not give us to tell..." a chill spread through Lily's body, it was true. At the beginning of the summer she was not at home and when she returned to Cokeworth she was unwilling to hear anything about her childhood friend. 

Shame watches her as she recalls all the times her parents tried to bring up the subject, only to be silenced by her, hell, even Petunia tried to tell her once... how blind and opaque she was in anger and hatred? 

She looked down, with all the latest developments, Severus, Raven, Potter and all his gang... she wasn't sure Gryffindors were necessarily better. Slytherin, Gryffindor... suddenly that's all they were, just people. 

"Sweetie, are you okay?" Her father asked softly. 

Lily shrugged, "Y-yeah..." She straightened up. "I need to check something." Without waiting for a response she ran to her room and pulled out a paper and a pen, she had to make sure what had happened to Severus, and she knew who she needed to ask. 

***

Remus woke up by a scream. He sat down on his bed a little confused, still half asleep, but another strangled scream made him jump out of his bed and run to Raven's room. 

The little boy curled up on his bed with his back to the wall and his little arms hugging his knees tightly and crying quietly. 

Remus quickly crossed the room to the boy, on his way he stepped on something soft, he looked down at the wolf's plushie lying on the floor, but his mind was too busy thinking of Raven to take care of the toy as well. 

"Hey, Raven..." he paused, the boy was still barely speaking, but maybe they should have asked him for his real name. He shook his head, there were more urgent matters, it could wait. "Raven, what happened?"

The little boy was shaking and suddenly opened his eyes wide full of terror, gasping for air and coughing. Remus tried to sit him careful of his wounds and gave him a bit of water. 

Once the boy's coughs had been controled Remus managed to calmed him enough to make his crying little sobs. 

"Wolf...e-eats me.." said the boy in a tiny scared voice still a bit raspy due to the coughing.

Remus eyes widen, and he looked worried at the little boy. "It was a nightmare Raven, do you want to tell me about it?" 

"W-Wolf... me... s-scary house w-with broken things... r-red, dark... and... and tree... a moving tree..." said Raven with tears on his eyes.

The last part took Remus attention completely, that surely was just a coincidence right?

It took him a moment to recover. Could there be more? Is there a chance the child heard about the incident? No, he could not describe the place so well... it was like he was right there. The werewolf's blood cooled, was it possible to transfer memories? What if it was coming out? Remus swallowed, engrossed in the anxieties that had befallen him, but sob from Raven made him shake off and return to the frightened boy. He will talk to his friends later. 

"Raven, hey... it's okay, you're protected here." He pulled the boy to his lap and stroked his trembling back, "Shhh... everything's fine." 

"No... please... I'll be good!" 

"Raven..." Remus felt his heart break. 

The boy sniffed and Remus felt his nightgown wetting from the tears. He got up with the boy, still trying to comfort him and walked to Sirius' room.

They entered the room and found Sirius awake with James. "Hey what happened? We heard Raven crying but we, well, we didn't think we should go there first." Said James with a sad smile.

Remus nodded understanding while putting Raven on the bed. The little boy was still shaking and crying murmuring pleadings to not be hurt. 

James and Sirius approached the little boy as Peter entered the room.

"What is wrong?" Asked Peter. 

"He had a nightmare," said Remus bitting his lip. "About a wolf attacking him on an old house with a moving tree." Added Remus while looking at the others.

Out of the other tree only Peter seemed to take a hint putting a confused expression while looking at Raven.

"Oh Ray-Ray I thought he had already passed that fear, you had even started to like a little the wolf plushie," said Sirius looking sadly at Raven.

"I'm sure it's just momentarily I mean Raven is a very brave little guy and I'm sure he won't let a bad dream scare him." said James trying to cheer Raven. 

The boys did all that came to their minds to calm the little boy from reading him stories with silly faces to giving him a cup with hot milk and honey along with whatever came to their minds. Eventually Raven managed to fall sleep while James carried him through the room while rocking him and gently patting his back. 

The gentle movements along with James warmth and their voices speaking softly to him manage to calm Raven and made him asleep.

When Remus made sure Raven was deep sleep he stopped the others from going to bed and told them again about Raven's nightmare and what he think about it.

"Come on moony you are the smart one, look I know you feel bad for what happened with Snape and with what Lily told us I'm sure you felt worse and I mean we all feel bad for it to tell the truth but you are letting it get to you." Said James looking at Remus.

"Yeah I mean there's no way for it to be more than a coincidence maybe the tree on his dream was moving because of the air and the house, there are lots of creepy places like that." Said Sirius shrugging.

Peter added in a thoughtful tone, "I understand your worries but Sirius is right I mean he'd had to be related to Snape or something and well I don't think that's likely."

Remus bit his lit struggling to stop thinking there was something else, his senses told him it wasn't just a coincidence but what his friends told him made sense, how could Raven know about it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


	14. "Pranks?"

"Are you sure you feel good enough?" James asked Raven for the thousandth time. 

Peter sighed and turned to Remus, "I think you scarred him for all lifetime." He noted. 

Remus shrugged, "It's been about the time." Said indifferently to James' condition, after a brief thought he added, "I hope it will hold on." 

"His caution?" Peter snorted, "No way!" 

James ignored them and turned to his little brother again, "Are you really sure you're strong enough to hang around?" He asked seriously. 

Raven looked up at him and nodded calmly. 

"This boy has infinite patience..." Peter groaned. 

"Okay, okay, stop everything! I found it!" Sirius appeared at the top of the stairs and cried in a melodramatic voice, as always. "Ta-Da!" He lifted into the air the outfit he had chosen and displayed it with proud, which was replaced with insult when he saw that no one was looking. "Hey! Guys! Some attention, that's important!" 

"It's been important the last seven times too..." Remus said. 

"No, it's completely different!" Sirius vehemently denied, "The previous times were not that important, this time I really found the right outfit, I found the fate and destiny of today!" 

"I can swear I've heard those words before..." Peter murmured.

On Sirius hands lay a tiny very identical copy of their Hogwarts uniform with a matching tie that changed colors every few minutes. "I think it's time to welcome our very own new Gryffindor member." Said an exited Sirius.

"I will admit that is actually cool, I never really saw when you got that one," Answer James with a smug smile.

"I had it hide it I was going to wait to the end of the summer but I couldn't resist anymore!" Exclaimed Sirius exited.

He took Raven from James and very carefully and mindful of his wounded little arm, that was in a cast, changed his mermaid pajama to the Hogwarts uniform.

They all awed at the cute view of Raven who was looking curious at the clothes. 

"Now he only needs a wand and is ready to come with us, hey can't we take him with us? I don't think I'm going to be able to be a hole school year without him." Said James.

"James! Why did you had to brought that up?! I don't want to think of being apart from our little guy from a day let alone for months!" Said Sirius glaring at James.

"I hadn't thought about it either." Said Peter with a horrified expression. 

"Maybe we should change the topic a bit," said an awkward Remus.

"You look just amazing!" Enthusiastic Sirius and pinched Raven's cheek, he puffed his cheeks, "I want to eat you!" 

Raven looked a little startled and backed away, hiding behind Remus' leg. 

James grinned, "He's just kidding, Rave, he's not a cannibal." 

"Who said? Maybe I should eat you instead? We won't feel sorry for you." Sirius jumped on James who was sitting on the couch and they started an intense pillow fight. The boy just looked at them, still kept close to Remus. 

"Hey, Raven," Remus leaned over and sat down on his knees, to be at eye level with the child. "I've wanted to ask you for a while..." He hesitated for a moment, "What's your name?" 

Raven looked up at him, his gaze radiating apprehension. Remus smiled pleasantly, "It's okay, no one will hurt you." He promised. 

"D-don't want back..." Raven whispered after a long moment. 

Remus hugged him, "We will not give up on you." Whispered in the boy's ear. "Do you understand?" He waited patiently until the nod came. 

Raven sniffed for a while and smiled, "I'm Raven." 

Remus laughed out loud and waved the boy in his arms. He patted the tip of the cute little nose. "No matter what your name is, you will remain our precious little boy in any situation."

Sirius got beside them and said in a cheerful voice, "Hey so how about we tell little Ray-Ray about some marauders adventures, I bet once he grows a bit more he will definitely be one."

They sat around Raven and started telling him first about Hogwarts how it was, about the houses, the magic creatures and everything he was going to learn there, Raven looked at them with curious happy big eyes and got exited at everything they told him.

Sirius then started telling him about their pranks, some were completely harmless and even a bit funny like changing someone's hair color, or throwing confetti at them but then the "pranks" started getting to mean for Raven.

"And we splashed the git with an awful smelling potion, he got the smell for days." Said Sirius laughing at the last story.

Raven was not laughing not even smiling he looked actually sad. 

"Hey, Raven are you okay?" Asked Peter looking at Raven. 

"That was mean" mumbled the boy softly looking down.

"What are you saying? It was a prank" 

"Was the boy laughing?" Asked Raven.

Sirius and James got uncomfortable with the question of course the victims hadn't found it funny on the last pranks they told Raven.

"Well no I guess no..." said James a bit ashamed.

"But it does not matter!" Sirius erupted. "He deserves it. What happened, his pride rose to his head? We did him a favor by showing him his place!" He mocked. 

Raven's eyes widened. "Da... Da say it..." 

Sirius froze and James looked shocked. "It's not the same..." Sirius tried to say. 

"B-but mummy say that wrong..." the boy whispered in a small, broken voice. 

"And Mummy was right." Remus calmed him down and turned a deadly look at Sirius. "It's not okay to humiliate someone. But do you know why people do that?" Raven raised his tear-filled eyes to him, "Raven," Said Remus gently, wiping away a rebellious tear that had run down the boy's cheek, "people humiliate other people only if they have no way to lift themselves up." 

James and Sirius seemed ready to leap and resist but Remus gave them a dangerous look, daring them to resist. They fell silent with sullen glances.

***

Back in the town called cokeworth the redhead witch had just received a very odd package as an answer to the letter she had send and an even weirder answer letter.

The package itself was a suitcase with some pieces of old tattered clothes, a few very used books, and other stuff. On top of the clothes lay an empty potion vial with two letters and an old well cared scarf. 

Lily recognized all those belongings, they were Sev's but why had Dumbledore send them to her as an answer to her letter asking for help finding her missing friend and how he got them in the first place.

She read the letter Dumbledore had send as an answer again trying to give it some sense as it only said:

_Greetings miss Evans, I had been made aware of this particular situation so to help you get the answers you are looking for I lend you some answers you will need to investigate further, I also will advise you to keep your eyes open as what you are looking for may be closer than you believe._

She let a sigh as she took some parchment and a quill, she write another letter this time to the other person she thought could help her more. 

_James, I am in dire need of help, I would be asking if it wasn't important, please let me know if we can met as I don't think this should be discuss on a letter._

With that Lily send her second letter asking for help hoping this one would turned better and decided to go trough Severus belongings to see if she could found some answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is greatly appreciated!


	15. Who Are You?

The next morning found Raven painting vigorously with the boys. 

He sat at the living room table, his tiny legs dangling in the air from the chair that was too big for his little body. Peter took a break after the short drawing lesson he taught them, after arguing with James who proved his drawing ability was much lower than the four-year-old boy's. 

James was offended and Peter decided it was time to find something to snack on (and stay away from James, before he found a way to get revenge, not that he admitted it). 

"Why don't you try to draw something of yourself?" Remus smiled at the boy. 

Raven nodded and took the pencil in his hand again. He preferred to use Remus' Muggle gear rather than the wizards' feathers, probably from habit, or simply because they were much more comfortable. 

Remus leaned over the boy's shoulder, glancing at the drawing he had worked so hard on and frowned, "It's interesting... what are you drawing, Raven?"

Little Raven showed Remus his drawing that looked familiar to him, there was a large tree a field close to what looked like a forest, the full moon and a large wolf like creature, even if Raven's drawings were still from a child he could definitely recognize it and it looked very similar to the whomping willow close to the forbidden forest, the creature he notice looked like a werewolf with it's big claws and sharp canines.

"R-Raven... do you know where is that?" Asked a very nervous Remus

Raven shook his head, "No but is what I dreamed, it's very scary" said the child in a whisper.

Remus swallowed looking at the drawing again his eyes glued to it, how could it be possible? Raven was just a child and from what Remus knew he had been the only werewolf at Hogwarts so it wasn't possible for it to be someone else and how many places could possibly be that similar? It just didn't make sense.

Once Raven seemed to be finished with the drawing Remus gently took it from him and showed it to the other boys. 

Peter gasped and James and Sirius looked nervous but Sirius kept shaking his head and mumbling denials. They were all definitely awkward and didn't understand how it could be possible for little Raven to dream about it?

Remus was starting to get all the possible explanations but all of them were as crazy and unlikely as the other. He got close to Raven who now was drawing something different.

Meanwhile Lily Evans had just received an answer to her letter which had a portkey inside inviting her to visit them. She looked again at the letters she had opened out of curiosity and felt her heart ache at what she had read on them.

Severus lost his mother only a short time ago, and she did not know. Of course she did not know, Severus was a private person and... and she did not want any contact with him since the incident by the lake. He had no one to turn to. Here her eyes fluttered at the second letter, he was from Sirius' brother, Regulus Black, and it was depressing too. Lily did not know that Slytherin, but she felt like banging his head. Severus was completely alone. 

Lily felt terrible guilt. Yes, he was wrong, but how was she so cruel to cut him off completely, especially when she knew..? She knew and yet she chose to act like that... Is it kindness and courage? Was that how a hero would behave? Just turning his back on the lost in the dark? No, not a hero... Is that how the person she would want to be would behave? 

She closed her eyes and exhaled a trembling breath, she did not have to answer it, the answer was clear. 

She should have found Severus, but he was not home, obviously he would not be back now... But, where was he? She reached for the package she had received just a few minutes ago and hesitated, wonder if she do the right thing, but she needed someone to help her... She grabbed the object and felt a pull. 

*** 

Sirius almost dropped the pot that Remus forced him to clean when Lily appeared in front of him. 

"Evans! What are you doing here?" 

James approached them, "She said she needed help, so I sent her a portkey." Explained.

Lily spotted Raven through the kitchen door and approached him with a smile, "Hey there, little one."

She looked over his shoulder and frowned at his drawing it was a room she think she had seen before with a dill beige on the walls and red stains on the wall, there was a woman on the corner looking sad and a little boy in the middle of the room looking scared and lastly a big dark scary figure close to the child with its fist above said child.

She felt a lump on her throat looking at the drawing and notice Remus and Peter also had those scared and nervous expressions. 

"W-What are you drawing?" Asked Peter frowning his brows.

"A freak being punished because he was bad" said Raven without turning to them.

Lily looked at the boy completely surprised but she couldn't figure what shocked her more if the answer or the fact that the boy who had been mute the last time she had saw him had talked, she was about to ask about it when she got interrupted. 

"Why is he bad, surely he couldn't have done something so terrible" said Remus this time, as James and Sirius approached them.

"He did, he wasn't quiet and he didn't finished cleaning the floor." Mumbled Raven bitting his trembling lip.

"That's not...H-How was he punished?" Asked Peter then looking fearful of the answer.

"That time was the belt" simply said Raven finishing the draw before trying to lift himself from the table.

He then looked back at the teenagers and suddenly something caught his attention, on Lily's hand was his favorite scarf, the one his mom had given him a few months ago that had belonged to her, he recognized it because of the "P" embroidered on it in deep blue on the corner. 

He happily approched Lily and grab the scarf saying "Mine" 

Lily let go of the piece of clothing shocked as she paled and glanced back at the drawing... the room looked like Severus living room! She had been there just days ago and she was sure of it but how?

"T-That's Sev's..." lily whispered lowly but Remus managed to get it, his eyes widened in surprise before they landed back on Raven, maybe...

"Tell me your name, the real one." said Remus on a very serious tone. 

Raven looked at them and his smile faded the little boy started looking at all of them his little hands started to tremble and he bit his lip he try to find any possible way to avoid it but it was hard they look so serious he thought he'll get in trouble if he did something bad, his dad always got mad whenever he didn't answer something he asked and he didn't want the older boys mad at him.

His eyes watered a little and his face got a very sad expression he mumbled, "you don't want to play anymore".

There was no answer so he knew it was over maybe they had alreasy got bored of him, he knew it would happen. They were the first persons he met that actually treated him with care and hugged him and played with him and he was afraid of losing it but he knew he didn't deserved it, he was a bad useless freak and naughty little boys didn't deserved good things. 

After a bref silence and with a low mumble he finally answer looking at the floor trying to not cry so they wouldn't be mad at him for being weak "i-it's Severus".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are here! Can you believe?


	16. Truth and Doubts

The teenagers paled, gasped at the answer and looked shocked at the boy.

James asked, "Did you lie to us?" but before he says anything else Remus asked, "What is the last thing you remember, did you knew us before the train station?"

Severus looked at them confused as he shook his head to the last question and with a trembling voice he answers, "I-I was bad and gave dad a beer that wasn't cold and...h-he threw it at me...t-then he h-hit me because he was mad at me... a-and then... I-I don't know I w-woke up in a weird looking room... I g-got out and hide." Said the child his big eyes completely innocent and sincere filled with sadness and fearful.

James looked at him and was about to say something about him playing them for fools when he got a glimpse of Raven's head scar, the one he had to give him, he remembered the times he had been hurt because of them and how he hadn't been mad at them for it. Why would he trust them so badly and even defend them if he knew who they were? Unless... maybe...he really didn't know? James didn't know what to think it was all too much!

Lily looked stunned, "Sev...?"

Sirius was equally stunned. "Is it Snivelly?" He blurted out without thinking, "I just can't believe my mom thought _he_ was my son!"

The tears in the little boy's eyes began to flow and he turned and ran away from the room.

"Sirius!" Remus hissed at the same time Lily exclaimed, "Black! He's a kid!" In her green eyes, a deadly fire danced, "How can you?!" She stormed out of the room, calling for Severus to wait.

"Why didn't we think of asking his name before?" Asked James, barely able to believe what he heard.

"I did ask his name before." Said Remus quietly. James and Sirius turned to him and looked at him, waiting for the continue. Remus sighed. "I asked and he said he wanted to be Raven. At first, I thought it was because he was afraid we would locate his family and return him to his father, but now I understand," he paused for a long moment.

"Moony?"

"Now I understand..." he looked up and a stares hard at his friends, "because of what you said on the beach. He was afraid, because he thought that if you knew who he was, you would turn your back on him and hate him..." he shook his head slowly and turned away from them, "and he was right." Said quietly and stepped over the door following Lily and Rav-Severus, leaving his two friends speechless, to consider the situation.

Peter then said, "I don't know about you but I mean he is still Raven for me no matter what all we lived with him was real and as Evans said he is just a baby, one that loves us so much he is capable of forgiving almost anything."

His eyes took a very decisive look and he added: "I think he deserves more than that and I'm going after him I hope you really think what you want to do, because there won't be another chance" with that Peter went searching for Severus too.

The little boy went run as fast as his still hurt body allowed him he ran to the front door tripping a bit on the stairs and falling getting even more hurt but he didn't care, he was used to the fiscal pain what he wanted to avoid was the pain that came from the older boy rejecting him.

Tears fall from his eyes as his body shake he forced himself to lift with his good hand despite the pain and he started going again through the garden trying to find a place to hide, even if he now knew he had nowhere to go and soon they would get rid of him just like his dad had probably done.

Lily and Remus had both lose the sight of the little boy who was surprisingly fast even injured and was trying to locate him.

"There was a potion vial with his belongings and I just had found out he was missing, that was the thing I wanted help with, I never imagine something like this..." said lily worried.

"I guess none of us wanted to even think of it as possible I mean I didn't even know of the existence of anyway to become younger." Said Remus.

Lily bit her lower lip, "Maybe that was the potion in the vial..." she thought quietly, "but then... why would Severus want to be four again?"

Remus thought quietly, "Maybe he doesn't." He said finally, Lily looked at him incomprehensibly and he elaborated, "Maybe the potion he took should have been something else? Maybe it went wrong?"

Lily did not seem convinced, "This is Severus we are talking about." Reminded him, "He's a potion genius, there's no way he was wrong. No potion of his would ever go wrong if any of you were involved."

Remus looked down guiltily, "I know." He said quietly.

They continued to walk in uncomfortable silence, looking for Severus, finally Lily broke the silence. "I'll ask Slughorn," she said, "about the potion, I mean. Maybe he could find out what it is, or what it was..."

Remus tried to smile, "Good idea." He nodded.

Peter joined that moment, "Where is Raven? I mean...Severus?"

"We don't know, we've been searching for him but there's no sign of him I mean he couldn't have gone too far right?" Asked Lily looking behind a chair and under a table.

"Let's just try to find him before he hurts himself farther, his injuries aren't completely healed." Said Remus nervously.

The little boy kept walking between trees and bushes trying to calm himself he didn't want to have things worse by letting his freakish thing let out of control, but it was becoming harder as there had already been to much time without letting it out and he had started to fell a bit feverish.

His head hurt and also the rest of his body but what hurt more was his chest more accurately inside of it, when they had looked at it like that and he had heard Sirius said that and called him like that... he just could take it, he had tried so hard to be good... maybe it was like his dad said his existence was a mistake and there was nothing he could do to fix it.

Warm tears flowed down his cheeks. He tried. He tried to be good, but he was just too bad...

His vision blurred in front of his eyes and he felt nausea rising inside him, he folded and vomited, he could not see where but he could not control himself. He whimpered softly and closed his eyes tightly, even though the colors were too bright and dazzling.

"I wish I don't be here..." he murmured in a strangled cry. He had nowhere to go.

The search squad soon realized the boy was not home and rushed to look for a way to locate the boy outside, unfortunately, it was quite a while and they did not know where to start searching, so the first thing they did was call Fleamont out of work and ask him to cast a search spell.

Fleamont only cast a disappointed look at James and Sirius, before setting out on a search, the full story remains to be told later, as the first task was to make sure the child returned safe and sound.

They found the boy hiding behind some bushes he was unconscious and looked very pale, he also had a fever and his little body was trembling badly.

They took him inside the house and he was checked and given potions after he had been put in bed Fleamont called his wife and they all went to the living room.

He asked first why the little boy had escaped and what had happened. Between Lily, Remus and occasionally Peter they told part of the story, how Lily had found out her friend was missing and what happened that lead to them discovering his actual identity.

Euphemia asked about his parents and Lily sadly told was she knew about his mother's death, his father abuse and neglect and the lack of more family since Tobias from what she new had been an only son and his mother didn't have relationship with her family as both had been cast out for being impure.

Fleamont notice James and Sirius discomfort trough all of it and he knew there was more of the story so with a very grave tone he asked them directly why they had been rude with the little boy after finding out who he was, what the Potters learned that day broke their hearts and made them so disappointed they even reconsidered all they had done while raising their son trying to find the mistakes that had lead to the horrible truth.

The couple finally left the teens and went up to check little Severus. The four boys and the girl of the Gryffindors remained in the living room, an uncomfortable silence prevailed between them.

"I just can't believe you. How can you be so mean? He's just a kid." Lily finally broke, she looked at James guiltily, "I thought you changed."

James recoiled. Sirius intervened, his eyes shooting sparks. "No, _I_ don't believe how you fell into this trap." Exhaled angrily, "He played with us. It's just repulsive revenge he decided to pull on us, a silly prank to make us come out stupid, so he could later laugh at us with all his Death-Eaters friends!"

No one expected the noisy slap Lily slapped Sirius the next moment, her eyes expressing rage and her nostrils flaring, "Do you even hear yourself?" Hissed, "You're so blind of your hatred that you're just opaque." She turned angrily and rummaged in her bag and pulled out two envelopes, she pushed them into Sirius' hands with such force that the paper crumpled. "Maybe it will help," she said and stepped to the door angrily, her hand clasped on the handle and she finally muttered, "if it's not too late for you."

The door slammed shut behind her and the boys remained quiet, Sirius was still frozen from the shock of the slap and his right cheek was particularly red. "She's totally crazy!" Finally erupted.

"No, Padfoot, you're the one who got off track." Said Remus. "It doesn't matter if it's Snape or Raven, he's just a kid and he's lost."

"He hypnotized you all!" Sirius interrupted him, "You really don't see? This is a cruel prank!"

"Not everyone is like you." Said Peter quietly.

Sirius turned to him in shock, "What?!"

Peter raised his head and looked at him bravely, "Not everyone is willing to go that far for pranks. Are you sure all the words you said are not just what you would do in his place?"

Sirius froze. James came in to defend his friend, "You mean to say that it all that he de-aged, that we found him and adopted him... was it all a coincidence?"

"Yes." Remus said, "Or maybe a gift for us, a chance to fix. But even if he did it on purpose, right now he's just a kid, he does not remember."

"How can you be sure?"

Remus looked at the two boys, "Because he's standing for us. If it was a prank, it would only humiliate him. Do you think he would let you dress him? Feed him? That he was protecting you when you hurt him? And besides..." Remus fell silent for a moment and as he raised his head and continued to speak, tears welled up in his eyes, "He is afraid of wolves, but he was never afraid of me."

With those words, he left the room only to meet Lily shocked and torn. She heard.

Remus' breath caught, "Lily..."

"A-are you a werewolf..?" The redhead whispered in shock.

Remus hesitated, "I... yes." He sighed in resignation.

"Sev... oh my gosh, Severus, he was right..." the girl gasped in shock.

Remus blinked, wait, what? "What?"

"He suspected, he told me but I did not want to hear..."

"Wait, Lily, how... when did he say it?" Remus 'mind could not keep track of things, he took the vow, he could not tell...

"Last November..." the girl replied, causing Remus' thoughts to stop, "but I told him to stop these theories, he talked about them since the fourth year..."

Remus swallowed, suddenly he found himself shaking. Snape... Severus followed Sirius' advice after knowing what he would find there?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your comments, guys!


	17. The Letter

Fleamont and Euphemia found themselves on Severus' room, it had all been a big shock to them from learning Raven was actually a de-aged teenager named Severus with the most horrible family they could imagine to the discovery of what James and Sirius had done to him, they had tormented and hurt a poor already abused neglected child.

Why now one told them about it? It was unacceptable to attack a classmate and from they had heard it had been going for quite some time, they needed to do something, that kind of person was definitely not someone they wanted their sons to become and the pray and hoped it wasn't too late to take actions.

As they kiss the little boy on the forehead they both made a promise to take actions to correct them and make things right.

Lily and Remus had gotten in an uncomfortable silence after their confessions, Lily was drowning on guilt as she started questioning everything, had she been unfair, mistaken a bad friend?

Remus for his part was actually assimilating how damaged the Slytherin actually was, how could he not see it before? Why didn't he make more efforts to stop his friends' harm?

Peter was looking from Sirius and James somber expressions to Lily and Remus's guilty ones, he also felt bad for how he had treated the other boy now knowing more about his life and having to get attached to his smaller version.

James and Sirius decided to open the letters, they were not sure why suddenly everyone was against them.

"I still do not believe it..." grumbled Sirius and rubbed his right cheek with one hand, "they all just freaked out." But despite the aggression, his words were hollow. He felt hollow. Was that really the case? What twisted kind of atonement or Merlin knows what?

But it's simple... he could not believe it, it seemed surreal. He dressed up Snivellus, he played with him and they... enjoyed?

He swallowed, he felt like kicking something. Snivellus played a prank on them, that's obvious! But then... why was Remus right in what he said? Why would Snivelly protect them after all they did? He had nothing to gain...

...Was Peter right too? Did he really say all this because he himself would have behaved like that..? Sirius did not want to think about it, he was really afraid to find out what the answer would be.

James shrugged and pulled him out of the trance he had sunk in, "The Letters?"

Sirius looked down at the letters in his hand, one was from the hospital and apparently announced the death of Snape's mother that Lily mentioned earlier tonight, but the other was the one that caught his attention.

"Regulus?" He blurted out and almost tore the letter as he opened it, "Why is Reg writing letters to Snivelly?"

The words of the letter even if it wasn't a very long one were definitely like knives in Sirius's chest he felt his eyes burning as he kept reading painful oppression filled his chest.

_Dear Severus,_

_I want to start by apologizing for what you are about to read I know it will seem like I am very ungrateful and an awful person and believe me I feel like the worst person, after all, you've done for me, the times you protected me and cared, how you helped me study and even wiped my tears, but we can no longer be friends. My mother finds out about me been friendly with a half blood from Bellatrix and she lost it, she is afraid I will turn like my brother and has threaten me. I am really sorry I know I was your last friend after Lucius also stopped sending you letters months ago and knowing how awfully you are treated by our house mates it really pains me to do this to you but please understand just like with my brother I have no choice. I know I have no right to ask anything of you but please don't harm yourself for this nor do anything rash._

They both felt awful after reading both letters, Sirius felt bad for his brother since he hadn't been there when he had been apparently attacked by others nor to help him cheer up when he was sad and apparently snape had been for him instead all those times. He knew how much Reg feared his mother and he knew it must have really hurt him doing what the letter implied.

About Snape... he didn't know what to think with every passing moment he doubted himself more and more about all he had done and a guilty feeling was blossoming on his chest, snape had been alone completely by the end of the letter he was disliked and mistreated by his own house too, he had abusive parents that hurt him and had been for what Reg mention even harming himself, how depress should you be to hurt yourself? He bit his lip it was so hard to admit not everything was like he assumed and he was struggling so much to keep believing he hasn't made a terrible mistake because he just couldn't have, it would make him the evil one and that was not something he could deal with even if it was becoming increasingly harder to denied.

Ugh.

How the hell did it turn out that they got tangled up in this whole loop down? It was so great to just go back to the simple days that detention for stealing after the curfew were their biggest worries.

How did it turn out that the thin, hunchbacked skeleton they used to humiliate had actually a life story? A hard one. No, wait... how did it turn out he was the adorable baby they saw as their little brother?

It was a prank, it had to be... but with every moment it became harder and harder to believe this claim.

Remus was right. Lily was right. Fleamont was right.

And apparently... that Peter was right, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you've enjoyed!


	18. The Poison

The five teenagers were sitting quietly in the living room, everyone seemed to be lost on their own thoughts and tension filled the room as the time passed.

Euphemia and Fleamont entered the room with serious expressions, looking closely you could tell both had cried. Lily was the first one to approach them.

"How is he?" She asked with a worried expression.

"He had a relapse, I'm afraid his health is still very delicate, we manage to stop the fever from raising but he will need to rest." Answer Fleamont.

Lily and the other boys nodded sadly to the news. She really wanted to speak to Severus, be close to him, and take care of the little boy but it was getting late and she knew today she wasn't going to be able to do anymore. "Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Potter, is it ok if I visit him tomorrow, I really want to help as much as I can."

"Of course dear we will make sure to keep you inform if anything were to happen," said Euphemia.

Lily nodded and started heading outside to use the portkey back home when she suddenly felt the potion vial on her pocket. 

"Oh! Mr. Potter, I don't know if this could be of help since not much is left but this was with Severus belongings." She said giving the vial to him.

He looked at the very small amount of liquid on the bottom of the vial barely a few drops and nodded. "As much as I'd like to remember my potioner days I believe this should be managed by a professional, I'll ask for a favor from a friend on the research department of the ministry. Thank you"

With that Lily Evans was gone and only four boys were left in the room. Fleamont gave a severe look to them especially to their sons and spoke clearly at them.

"There are no words for how disappointed we are in you and I believe measures need to be taken in this matter. I am still trying to decide a proper punishment for what you have done, for now, you will come with me tomorrow and hopefully, you will learn more about boys like Severus and how they truly suffer, and how mean people end up."

Euphemia added with a harsh look not common of her. "We will decide if you are to go back to that school after we speak with the professors because I cannot believe they hide something like this from us and even more how they let it happen for so long without any punishment." She looked truly disgusted while the boys looked scared.

"But-" James tried to protest but a hard look from his parents silenced him and made him humbly lower his eyes. They deserved it. 

"Get in bed and think about your actions. Tomorrow you can apologize to Severus. Needless to say, I do not want to hear another word today." Euphemia decided decisively, her tone of voice leaving no opening for an argument, not that any of the boys would have dared to risk opening their mouths at this moment. Obediently, the four boys approached their rooms in complete silence. 

Fleamont examined the small test tube vial the redheaded girl had given him and carefully placed it in his cloak pocket, wrapped in a soft cloth. 

True to his word, the head of the Potter family took the boys with him to the ministry the next day, it was early in the morning, but even so, neither James nor Sirius had protested or made tiny displeasure. Fleamont led them after him when he first told his colleague and left in his safe hands the small glass bottle for analysis of the liquid he contained.

What they learned in their visit to the Ministry they would never forget. He showed them how the aurors worked to make sure the bad guys were taken to justice.

Some aurors told them stories that even made them feel sick of how persons would torture and take advantage of those weaker than them, how they had started and it definitely hit hard when they learned their behaviors hadn't been so different from those of criminals when they started, most had been just like them bullies that enjoyed making others suffer soon it was not enough with a bit of humiliating or fiscal pain and most criminal ended up escalating to heavy tortures and killings.

They learned about how the prison worked and even got to briefly meet a dementor, it scarred them for life. Finally, they learned about the actual victims of some of those criminals the ones that managed to survived that is, it was honestly heartbreaking, some had been lost to madness due to the tortures others lived incomplete and in constant pain and some just hadn't been able to suffer anymore and had ended up finishing their lives leaving friends and families devastated.

At the end of their "learning trip" they were left feeling sick of themselves, with a huge amount of guilt eating at them and nightmares to come for all the bad they had done.

Fleamont knew it may have been a bit too much for them but he knew they needed the hit of reality to open their eyes and changed their ways before it was too late. 

They were on their way to the main waiting room to make their way home when they were stopped by the potionist Fleamont had given the vial to.

"Hey! I already have some results for you but I must say it's not much." Said the man in front of Fleamont and the boys.

"It's all right my friend whatever you can tell me I'm sure will be useful." Said Fleamont gently.

"Well first of it I couldn't work out the entirely of the ingredients or portions used but by the main one I could decipher I'm sure this is at least at base a very powerful poison, one of the worst I've seen I may add." He said seriously looking at Fleamont's shocked expression.

"A poison? Are you sure?" Asked Fleamont with an urgency not wanting to believe it.

"Yes I am most certainly sure and sadly I'm not able to make an antidote for it, I would need more than the few drops you gave me. What I can tell is there was a very slight variation on it from the poisons I know but I can't exactly find what ingredient was affected. Like I said I would need more, honestly, I hope whoever made this dropped it, I can't know for sure the effects it would cause but been think of as a very dangerous poison I can only imagine so much." Said the man returning the empty vial to Fleamont.

A heavy feeling filled their chests at knowing what Severus had done...

How it had made him deaged instead? They couldn't know but it had surely been a miracle. From what the man had said Severus wasn't supposed to be even alive...with that knowledge and the heavy feeling it had left they said their farewells and when back home.

The boys did not talk much later in the day. Each of them had too many thoughts in their head to think about, needless to say, that all the last period they went through and ended on this specific day, they acquired too many changing life discoveries and chilling insights from all the years of their lives combined. 

Everything was far wrong and far more horrible than they might imagine. In fact, it felt like the bubble in which they lived was shattered and it just felt very insecure... how simple it was to live with the lie you tell yourself and believe in it... an oppressive feeling flew over the boys. 

It was too much. 

Far, far too much...

At home little Severus wasn't doing so great, he seemed quite sad and he still was sick. Remus and Peter had already been with him it hadn't been great since the poor little boy had literally apologized for his own existence and cried with pain and despair at the thought of them hating him.

They had felt horrible and had done their best to assure the poor boy of how much they care and love him and try to cheer him up a little, it had helped a bit but the boy had noticed the other two teenagers missing and had been heartbroken thinking whatever had happened had been his fault. 

Even Lily with her visit with some muggle fairy tales hadn't been enough to completely cheer up the little boy, they even had a bit of trouble to make him eat since he was convinced he didn't deserve food, bad children didn't deserve nice things and in Severus mind he was the worst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry we didn't reply to the comments last time! Even if we couldn't reply to you, we always so much love to read your comments, and see you're still interested in our story!  
> Thank you, guys!


	19. The Punishment

Sirius and James soon discovered that it was just too hard to contain inside everything that had been going on lately. The wheels at their heads creaked like old machines that needed immediate lubrication. Too. Much. Information. 

It didn't help that no one tried to talk and explain anything to them anymore, they just left them quietly brewing in their private thoughts. Rebellion and stubbornness didn't help and in the end, guilt won. 

They had to apologize, and this time really get back to normal behavior around Raven. Yes, Raven. Their little brother they got so used to last summer. They decided they were not going to call him Severus, they just were not ready for it. No one pressed them to, but that's probably for the better, because at this point, a 'Snivellus' would surely have come out of their mouths instead. 

So they went back to the safe area, he has not related him to the teen they knew, he was Raven, an unidentified foreign boy they had learned to love.

They entered the room where the little boy was lying on bed there were tears still coming from the puffy red eyes as the boy bit his lip to make no sound, it broke their heart to look at the little boy they had learned to love so broken and sad.

James was the first to approach him he sat up beside him on the bed and with a trembling hand pet his hair making the boy lookup.

"I-I'm s-s-sorry, I-I was b-bad" sobbed the child looking at the teenager.

James sighed and with genuine guilt he said. "No, you...you didn't do anything bad ok? It was us. I'm the one that is sorry for what happen and what I said". He was having a very hard time apologizing since even if he had made sure to think of the boy as Raven some part of him was still reluctant and knew the truth still he made an effort to silence that voice and keep the idea of Raven.

"Y-you don't w-want me anymore? W-will you t-take me back w-with my d-da?" Asked the boy looking scared.

Sirius quickly interrupted at the mere thought of sending the little boy back with that bastard "No! And don't ever mention it again! We... we do like you and you won't be sent anywhere we are both sorry I know I acted bad but you are our little Ray-Ray right?" Said a nervous agitated Sirius trying to close the Snape topic for good.

The boy nodded and with a bit of doubt and shyness crawl close to them not caring for his still injured arm and hesitantly gave them an attempt of a hug.

Sirius felt his own eyes burn a little as he tried to swallow the lump on his throat before getting his arms to hug the boy. James was no better with a heavy feeling on his chest as he also hugged the boy.

When they went out of the room their parent were waiting for them and they made them sit in the living room it was time for another talk and clearing somethings since they had finally come with proper punishment.

The boys sat obediently and waited for their verdict in silence, their eyes lowered and staring at the floor humbly. They prayed that the parents would not take them out of Hogwarts, they were completely shocked just at the thought of it, but they knew better than to argue, especially at this time. 

Euphemia Potter inspects the two dark-haired boys with a critical look, "We hope you thought about it and understood the seriousness of your actions." 

The two boys were silent, when they don't heard a continue, they realized that they were probably watching some reaction and nodded a little in their heads. 

"We hereby remove your participation in Hogwarts next year," the two boys' eyes widened and a voice of stifled protest erupted from them before they covered their mouths with the palm of their hand. Mrs. Potter stared at them, "and we will certainly talk to the administration about the conduct of the order and law that is lacking in this school." 

The two boys shivered and bit all the comments and arguments that stood on the tips of their tongues. 

"But," Fleamont added a moment later, "we agree to give you a chance to prove to us that you see the mistake in your way and reconsider your participation in the school."

"What do we need to do?" Asked James worried. 

"You will have to visit an orphanage and help them for at least to weeks, I need you to truly see what some poor children have to suffer." Said Fleamont with a grave expression.

"You will go with them every morning for 3 hours and help with the chores, get to know them and at the end of the week you will tell us what you have learned." Added Euphemia and both boys nodded

"Aside from that you won't have permission to go anywhere else, your brooms and pocket money will be held until you prove yourself responsible enough and you will only be permitted to spend time with Raven supervised." Said Fleamont using Severus' nickname to not get the boys defensive, he knew they would eventually need to confront it but for now, he agreed to take it slowly.

The boys couldn't really defend themselves looking at how harsh their parents looked. They were really doubting themselves seen how everybody seem to agree what they did was an awful crime.

They were really wrong, weren't they? They were nervous, worried, angry, and guilty, and all at once. 

Seeing Raven was too simple, but too difficult. They could not be angry with him, not really, he was just exactly the same as before the discovery, these are they the ones who changed. 

And they did not know how to behave now. Any way was wrong... the Potters were right that they did not want to leave them alone with Raven, no matter how embarrassing it was to admit it. 

They themselves had to take a distance from him at least for a while... but why did they feel a pinch in their heart? Why did they feel that something was so lacking to them as breathable air? And why did they turn in the same direction each time to Raven's room? 

What could they do? It was just an emotional and existential crisis.

That might be ironic, because they have told him his crime was to exist.

The worst thing was that Raven was as sweet and loving as always, giving them his toys and sweets, smiling with those big black eyes full of admiration towards them, forgiving as if nothing had happened and they just couldn't help but feeling they didn't deserve it.

It made them wonder what had happened for a child so trusting, forgiving and loving like Raven to end up being the distrustful sullen angry boy they had met, how much hurt and pain had taken to break him, how much times his trust had been broken for him to stop giving it and become paranoid and defensive. How had his parents manage to change him so much, it was not a good thought. 

Their punishment was most definitely not good either for their already full of guilt minds, they met children just a little older than Raven that had gone through bad things, some similar to Raven suffering abuse from their parents or family, others neglected and abandoned, and some had lost their parents that had been good and loving and didn't know how to cope with the drastic change of having everything to have just the barely necessary. It was heartbreaking. 

It was on Friday of their first week of the punishment that they had been received by Raven he gave them drawings of themselves as this hero looking selves with big smiles.

"You're sad, you should not be sad," said Raven giving them a big smile and the drawings. And that was the last nudge they could take before they started crying out while hugging the little boy as if he would despair if they let him go for a second. Apology after apology left their mouths this time directly from their heart as they looked at the boy they had hurt so badly looking at them worried but full of love and compassion. 

Remus was right in front looking at the scene, he knew they would still need to work on growing better and things weren't going to be magically perfect but looking at them so truly sorry and asking for forgiveness to Severus instead of Raven made him hopeful and optimistic for a better future, as much for them as for the little boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Thanks for reading!


	20. The Adoption

Severus was clearly surprised when he sat down carefully at the dining table and stared at breakfast in surprise and joy look. 

The older boys got up at five o'clock to have time to prepare the meal they had planned before the usual set-up time for Severus which was always immediately early for their liking. 

Well, to be more precise, it was James who got up in 4:47 and then woke up the sleepy and stubborn Sirius by throwing pillows, pushing him out of bed and then threatening that he would be the one to dress Raven, and that's how they found themselves dropping pots and bats and breaking too many eggs while it was still dark outside. 

Luckily for them, Peter and Remus woke up from the noise and come to help the plan to make their cute kid happy. 

They were tired but the efforts paid off and in the end they were proud to place a plate laden with pancakes in the shape of weird and funny faces with strawberry syrup and milkshake in front of the boy who clapped happily. It was worth it and goofy smiles were cast on their faces. 

"Is there something for me too?" Asked Lily who had just entered. 

James turned to her, "Ah... no, sorry..." He rubbed his head awkwardly, embarrassed, "We only prepared for Raven..." They didn't aim like that, they wanted to do for everyone, but, yes, they were a little bad in proportions... 

Lily frowned a little at the using of 'Raven'.

Remus notice her face and in a quiet tone said to her "give them time is easier for them like this, they have made advances but still need to take it slow".

She nodded looking at the giggling child smiling and sharing a spoonful of pancake to a happy Sirius. 

They spend some time playing with Raven before they had to go to the orphanage, Raven seemed sad for their leaving but they promise to go see him when they got back. His little arm was healing goodly and he hadn't any relapse of the pneumonia since the revealing. 

Lily had taken some old toys from her house to play with her friend she was still struggling with the idea of her best friend having been turned to a four year old but apparently there wasn't much to be done about it. She remembered how heartbroken and guilty she had felt when learning the potion had been made by Sev as a poison to kill himself and there was no way to make an antidote, she refuses to believe she had lost her best friend for good but she was still grateful that the potion had not work as it was intended.

Little Sev was wearing a lady bug custom that look very cute on him and Lily had been very surprised to see the quantity and diversity of customs he owned.

Later when James and Sirius got home their parents asked them all to join them in the living room to talk. Sev was taking a nap so he wasn't there to hear them.

The boys sat quietly as the parents cleared their throats and apparently chose the things they wanted to discuss.

James, being impatient, could not wait with the growing anxiety within him and fell apart shouting "I'm sorry!" Sirius soon joined the call with promises that they understood and learned the lesson and would never behave like that again in the future. The boys were clearly afraid that the return to Hogwarts would be banned. 

Fleamont stopped the chaos I will open with a statement, "We are adopting Severus." 

The boys froze and returned to complete silence, the expressions on their faces shocking. 

Euphemia nodded, "We decided it would be the right choice, we file complaints about child abuse, and whether Severus stays four years old or returns to his true age, we do not intend to let the child return to his father's house."

Fleamont continued "About Hogwarts we put a complain to the school committee and they put a fine to the school and also one to every professor, they are now obliged to send the parents a monthly record of the students performance and has to let us know of every worth detention altercation you are into." 

Sirius and James shared a look knowing professors were surely not happy about it and not likely going to let them get away with things like before. Remus and Lily looked exited and happy for those news knowing things would be better with those measures. 

"Taking that in acount and your good achievement on the punishment you were given we have agreed to give Hogwarts and you one last chance. So we are letting you go back but know this, if we know you are bullying other students again we will be taking you out in no time and for good, understood?" 

Both boys resigned nodded knowing this year would be very different and not so good for their mischief, that would must likely be nonexistent. 

Suddenly crying was heart by all of them and quickly they went to the youngest room to see him trashing and crying on his sleep as he mumbled "I-I'll be good da p-please no-no more It h-hurts."

Everyone's hearts hurt and feel for the poor boy trapped on the memories of his awful father and the actual pain and fear they produced on the child.

It was probably really selfish, but James and Sirius really hoped their precious child would stay that way. That mean, in age. 

They didn't know how they would get along with the teenager Snape, but Raven was so easy. They wanted him to stay theirs, like that. This of course wasn't possible and they really tried to work on the acceptance of his other side, his true self, but it was like heaven and earth and they were still stuck. 

Indeed, there was one thing they was sure of, he was not allowed to return to the monster that did it to him. They wanted to adopt him wholeheartedly, and they told this to the older Potters couple. 

The statement and determination from the mouths of the two boys managed to squeeze a soft smile from the parents, for the first time in days they received such a response. The parents seemed to be starting to warm up to them again.

They gently woke up Sev and he instantly hugged James frightened by his nightmare, he carried him back to the living room along with everyone and they spend the rest of the afternoon cheering him up and playing games.

The next day when Lily arrived they were all having breakfast together Sev was giggling and happy with a duckling custom, before they went Sirius approached her.

"Do you think we can talk about Rav- emm about Severus when we get back?" He said looking a bit uncomfortable.

"Sure we can all gather when he is sleeping." Answer Lily. 

Sirius nodded thankful and with that they went to the orphanage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell us your thoughts ^^


	21. Severus Potter

Later the five Gryffindor teenagers gathered in the Potter family's living room. There were cookies and juices on the table but no one touched them, everyone wanted to hear what a certain redhead had to say about her childhood friend. 

Lily sat down comfortably on an upholstered chair, "I do not know where to start... is there anything specific you want to hear?" 

The boys are discussed in their heads. 

"Embarrassing failure." Said Sirius and immediately contracted from a sharp elbow in his ribs from Peter's side. 

"Anything convenient for you to tell." Said Remus. 

Lily took a cookie from the fancy plate that lay on the table and examined it, a small smile creeping to her lips. "It's not an embarrassing failure, but I just remembered one time we were little and Severus shared his cookie with me. It might be more embarrassing for me, but I didn't understand it at the time. We were at home and my mom baked strawberry-chocolate cookies for me and Petunia, Severus just came to visit, so my mom gives us all the sweets, and it turned out I got fewer cookies from Tunie," Lily laughed, her face was a little red, "it's awkward to remember, but I cried really hard about it and Severus just came and gave me all the cookies he got." Lily unloaded the cookie that was in her hands, "He didn't have any at home and this was one of his only opportunities to eat sweets, but he gave it up for me."

"Wait he didn't have sweets," asked a surprised Peter.

"Nope at the moment I didn't know but his family never got him anything like that since they barely had the money for food and his father, of course, thought it was a waste to give his son anything good." Said Lily sadly " I'm sure the first time he tasted something sweet was at my home and even with that he always gave me most of the sweets saying he didn't like them that much but I saw it on his face how much he enjoyed them and I often felt bad for sometimes taking them."

"Wow, that's very nice of him," Said James frowning.

"You have no idea, when we were smaller he was so different. He was very quiet and reserved but he always did whatever I wanted and went along with my crazy ideas even if they weren't so good. He was very protective and sweet with me. Always defending me from my sister." 

"When did he started changing?" Asked Remus.

"It's hard to tell I mean over the years he became more defensive and even a bit aggressive which never happened when we were a child but also thing got worse for him everywhere." Lily stopped for a moment closing her eyes while that awful guilty feeling came over her chest again. "I knew something was wrong at his home I mean he always had new injuries and he wasn't a clumsy person as he said, I mean you stop believing one person would fall off the stairs so often or trip over things daily, but he never admitted anything and he got very worked up when I started questioning so I guess I just stopped doing so. I know it was wrong and I should have done more but I was young and thought things couldn't be so bad if he wasn't asking for help."

"He never told you, not even when older?" Asked Remus concerned.

"No, the opposite actually even if I'm sure things were worst he got better at hiding them I would even stop seeing him for days sometimes, and then he would act as if nothing had happened but I noticed how distanced he would be or how he would flinch from contact."

That confession let them all in a heavy uncomfortable silence. Peter decided to brake it with some lighter topics. "So what did he liked when he was a child I mean what would you play, what colors he liked, what was his favorite animal, things like that?"

Lily put her finger on her chin thoughtfully, remembering the little black-haired boy who had always been in clothes that were too big and cumbersome for his slender frame. "We usually played hide-and-seek or role-playing games. I was mostly the fairy of dreams or the flower princess, I would make bouquets and flower crowns for us and we would walk around with them on our heads like royals. Severus would follow me and flow with every role I gave him or any weird and crazy idea I had at the time." She blushed awkwardly, "we did so much nonsense. Sometimes we switched roles and I would force him to play the distressed princess waiting for the knight on the white horse... Severus didn't complain, even when Tunie mocked us." 

It was too cute and awkward and the boys could not have imagined this situation with the clumsy Slytherin they knew, but when Raven's picture came upon their mind, the puzzle was just completed immediately and there was no room to doubt even if it was possible. Raven was just like that. 

"About his favorite color..." Lily continued and immediately fall into a series of amused giggles, "You would not believe it, but it was red. He said my hair color is his favorite color and since then he has always picked red flowers for our games."

All of them were quite shocked since they had just assumed he would like black or green. Lily kind of wanted to take a picture of their faces but didn't have a camera so she had to settle with the memory.

"Sev liked animals in general but he never got to have one he was scared his father would hurt it so he would just play with my neighbor's pets and even a couple of times he healed some forest animals." Said Lily while remembering his childhood friend gently wrapping a rabbit's paw on a piece of fabric with some herb made ointment. 

"He actually wanted to become a healer before we got to Hogwarts he said he wanted to be able to take good care of his mom and help others and he thought he could help improve potions and even help to find new cures for diseases. I remember he used to patch me up every time I got hurt from our playing and he was very good at it." She said.

"Maybe he had some personal experience," said Remus sadly knowing how it was to acquiescence practice from healing yourself.

"I... I hadn't thought about it..." mumbled Lily while frowning.

After this note, the youth fell into a gloomy silence. They sat quietly and gnawed cookies in monotony, not even noticing what they're doing, each immersed in his own thoughts. 

This is how Euphemia and Fleamont found them when they returned home that evening, five teenagers sitting unsettled and quiet next to an empty plate of cookies, and which if asked each, they could not tell what it tasted like. 

"We brought the documents." Said Fleamont and placed a pile of paper on the table, "We need to talk to Severus first, and tomorrow morning we will send them for final adoption. And then you can welcome your new brother, Severus Potter."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Severus Potter needs love!


	22. The New Brother

The next day they all gathered in the living room. Severus looked with curiosity filled eyes the papers on the table. 

"Severus do you like living with us?" Asked Euphemia gently.

"Yes! I like playing and reading and drawing and when Sirius brother makes funny faces and when James brother reads me stories!" Said the child exited a huge smiled on his face.

Sirius and James felt their hearts melting when they heard him referring to them as brothers. And both parents smiled at the answer.

"We asked you this because we want you to be part of this family officially and permanently. Would you like that?" Said Fleamont this time smiling gently to the boy. 

Severus' eyes opened wide with surprise and got filled with joy and excitement but before he answers suddenly his expression became doubtful and scared. "But you want me? I'm bad... I'm a useless freak." Said Severus with watering eyes remembering some of the things his father had drilled into his mind.

Fleamont sighed cursing the boy's father on his mind "that is not true you are an amazing beautiful child always good and caring, we love you and we wouldn't be offering if we weren't sure, but we are we really want you. So I ask you again do you want to be a Potter?" He gave the child a reassuring smile.

Severus looked at everyone in the room to make sure they really wanted him and as he saw everyone smiling at him even his *brothers* he eagerly nodded letting some tears this time of happiness fall from his eyes. 

That afternoon they all celebrate the official adoption and sent it to be approved. Two days later they got an answer that said it had been approved but they needed to go in five days to Gringotts to finish the child abuse report to record the damaged done to the child and put an order that wouldn't allow the birth parent to gain access to the child never again. They decided to also take the opportunity to add him to the family vaults and open his own account. 

The next days were completely spend enjoying the little child, playing with him and warming to the idea of his true identity. Sirius and James had started referring to him as Sev they still called them Raven sometimes but would also use his real name. 

The day for the Gringotts visit arrived and they decided only the Potters (Sirius and James too) would go. Remus and Peter decided to go for a walk and buy somethings for the coming school year. Lily stayed with her family that day.

They dressed little Severus in a stag suit with cute little horns on his head. 

Severus examined his reflection in the mirror a few minutes later, he carefully touched the horns and tail and then went to rummage in his toy drawer. After a long moment, he returned to the mirror, carrying his stag plushie. He seemed to make a comparison between himself and the animal doll, much to the amusement of James and Sirius. 

Severus picked up the stag and handed it to James hesitantly, a question in his eyes. 

James laughed and leaned over, "Yeah, little one, it's the same guy, kind of. A stag, my favorite animal, you know?" 

Severus seemed calmer, "Really?"  
Tweeted with a hopeful smile. 

James nodded with a smile and ruffled the boy's hair.

Severus smiled happily and James and Sirius took both of his hands to walk with him. Once they were all in the living room they traveled by floo to Diagon Alley once there Sirius took Severus on his arms and carried him along to the bank. 

Once they entered they walked to one of the goblins to hand him the letter they had from the ministry. The goblin after reading it nodded for them to follow him to the main waiting room.

Once there a goblin appeared and told them to come to his office. 

James and Sirius took a sit on the couch that was behind the door while the goblin with their parents help make the process. 

In front of them, the goblin named Nagnok placed an empty parchment and a knife. "I need three drops of the child's blood on the parchment and every injured ever suffer will appear on it." 

Fleamont nodded and carefully with a lot of gentlenesses took Severus finger then with the knife he punctured his ring finger, Nagnok looked curiously at the boy for the lack of crying and fear the task was usually accompanied by. 

Once the three drops touch the parchment letters started appearing on it while it started getting longer and longer, even the goblin's brows furrowed from how long it ended up being almost reaching were James and Sirius were sitting.

At the top of the parchment appeared Severus' name with the Potters last name. And from there a very long list of injuries appeared with age, description and place they had been infringed. They started at one year old with a belt wound and kept going to self infringed cuts at the age of sixteen, the injuries went from cuts, and deep bruises provoked by intern bleeding to broken bones, burns, lacerations and organs damage with mentions of anemia for malnutrition. 

Nagnok looked at the little boy not understanding the appearance of the later years and the Potters were to shocked by the contents of the parchment to even think of anything else. 

"What is the meaning of this? He is four is he not" Said the goblin rolling the parchment. 

The Potters shared a look and decided to explain it all to the best of their understanding to Nagnok so Euphemia gave Severus to James and told them to wait outside as they explained it all so Severus wouldn't hear. 

Both boys decided they needed some fresh air after what they had seen so they decided to wait outside of the bank. With that, they took Severus and took sit on a bench outside putting Sev in the middle of them.

They were both Silent trying not to think of what they had seen when a screech was heard close to them. As they both looked up they were faced with two very familiar persons.

Sirius rubbed his face in his hand and groaned, "Again? You must be kidding me!" 

The statement, of course, didn't affect Mrs. Black before them at all. "I didn't come for you, ungrateful bastard. You can stay with the miserable life you have chosen for yourself." Her dark eyes turned to the little Severus between the two boys, "but I will take my grandson." 

Severus shuddered and Sirius pushed him towards James as he took a step forward. "You wish, bitch!" 

Next to the older woman, a young lady laughed. Her voice was so deep and dark that it sent chills down everyone's spine. 

"Bella," Sirius growled. 

"What the hell..?" James murmured and immediately fell silent, cursing himself and turning to his little brother, "Don't repeat these words." 

Severus quietly tweeted in agreement and clung to him in fear, his eyes not moving from the frightening woman he remembered from the alley.

"Now now causing it's useless to fight, I can assure you it will only end with you in pain." Said Bellatrix with that maniac smile that she had.

"Are you deaf? I told you I won't let you touch a single hair of him so go be crazy somewhere else" said Sirius with an angry tone.

They were a bit at a disadvantage since they didn't have his wands but at the same time they were in a most public place and they were definitely crazy but not crazy enough to attack them on the public right? 

Severus was getting nervous he remembered the mean lady and he didn't want to go with her, also the other lady scared him and he felt something was very bad with her. 

She touched her wand and as Severus saw that he paled she was going to try to hurt his brothers! No, he would stop them she wouldn't hurt them he needed to protect them.

But the boy didn't know what he could do. Tears welled up in his eyes at his helplessness. He doesn't have his mother's wand and if he had, he doesn't know how to use it! He's just a little useless dirt... 

But his brothers are in danger too! They were here just because of him, just to get him into their family! If they will hurt, it would be because of him. No. No, no, no. He's bad! He needs to help them! They have already done so much for him... he must do something! 

Anger and determination swirled in his small body and a storm of emotions erupted inside. Anxiety and fear took over all his feelings and everything around him blurred. 

Severus trembled in a flood of emotions and could not understand anything of what happening around, when suddenly there is a loud boom. The boy blinked and saw the roof of the store next to them collapsing and falling directly on the two women.

Severus found himself in Sirius's arms as he was anxiously hugging him. He was confused his body hurt a little but mostly felt tired and very warm.

The Potters were running to them and questioning what had happened as some people tried to help taking out the two women from the wreckage. 

"She sends a jinx to us but Severus put himself in front of us and received while a wave of magic from him made the roof collapse." Explained James in a rush his body shaking a bit from the shock.

"Oh god, but what jinx did he receive?" Asked Euphemia worried as she went to check on him

"I think it was a stinging jinx but it didn't hit him on the face, I'm not sure where it did" mumbled James looking at his mother gently taking Severus from Sirius's hard grip.

She carefully checked the boy over and found an angry red mark on his belly where the jinx had hit. Thankfully that jinx healed with time and wasn't one of the worst. 

What truly worried Euphemia was how hot his body was, feverish and trembling with little spasm. Fleamont took their hands and they apparated home.

Severus sank into a haze of senses. He whimpered softly with his eyes closed, feverish. The family tried to comfort him and they watered him with a heat-reducing potion, but the effect didn't seem to be very helpful. 

Eventually, late at night, Severus fell asleep. The family sighed and retired for a quick night's sleep, in order to see in the morning how things would develop and if it would be necessary to call the doctor again... but really hope that everything will work out without it by then. 

The night really passed quietly but the next day everyone woke up to a shocking shriek that resounded all over the house. 

They hurried towards Severus' room, praying and frightened of what they would find in a moment, but the sight unfolding before their eyes was the most unexpected scenario imaginable. 

They all stood speechless and shocked. In front of them on the floor lay a black-haired teenager, his clothes tiny and torn in places where there wasn't enough fabric to cover his body, and his frightened and shocked eyes wide open in disbelief and anxiety. 

The room sank into complete silence, no noise was heard, and it seemed as if those present had held their breath. 

"Well," Sirius finally broke the silence, "I guess we'll have to get a new stag costume."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We know many of you have hoped that Severus will remain a little child and we are sorry if some of you are disappointed.  
> Returning to his original age was an important detail to the plot, for as pleasant as it is to live in illusion, it is not reality. We don't want the Marauders to learn to love Raven, they need to recognize the full picture and that is only if they deal with the real person he is in the present. In the end it had to happen. 
> 
> We hope you will not be too disappointed and will enjoy the coming chapters, thanks for reading ♥


	23. The Growth, Panic and Potter

Severus felt his body hot and strange as if it wasn't his own but at the same time, it was. Darkness surrounded him and he wasn't sure of what had happened. 

Was he dead? Had he succeeded? He could see himself in the darkness that surrounded him. The last thing he remembered was taking the poison he had made... 

_It was late but he wasn't even sure what time it was, he had been crying for hours. The last person that loved him was gone, he had lost his mother and he had no one else._

_Just a few days before he had received a letter from Regulus at lunch and the boy hadn't even looked at him at dinner and had started avoiding him like everyone else. It had hurt._

_He took the silver knife of his pocket and started making shaking cuts on his wrists but he suddenly stopped. What if someone found him and saved him? No, he couldn't risk it. He wanted it to be definitive._

_He stood up with his wrist still bleeding lightly and went back to the dorms, he was lucky no one was around so maybe it was dinner time, it didn't matter._

_He went to his room and took some of the potions books he had he also took his potions kit and the ingredients he had gathered so far._

_He carefully went to one of the unused classrooms and set everything up. He started reading over potions one after another and started creating his own with the ingredients he had and the main ones he knew worked best. He made a stop to retrieve some ingredients from Slughorn's stock since he knew the man never went after classes and usually left them unlocked._

_He took a few vials and transferred the needed amounts to his own so he wouldn't notice them missing. Once he had what he needed he went back to the classroom._

_That night was spend on a blur of brewing, crying, and self hating. He was so focused on his frenetic brewing he didn't even care if a tear o a drop of blood got into the mix. It was as if he had been possessed and his hands had been working on their own, chopping, measuring, mixing._

_He doubled checked his ingredients with the recipes he had around everything looked correct and the potion had turned the dark purple color he had expected._

_He saw a spider on one of the desks and let a few drops fall on it. The spider started spasming and moving like crazy then after a moment it stopped and didn't move at all anymore._

_He smiled to himself if it worked like that on the outside it would definitely work just perfect when drank. He filled a vial and put protective spells on it to make sure he would have it with him until the end of the year._

_He decided to take one last time the train and do it there since he didn't want to risk getting trapped as a Hogwarts ghost. He cleaned up and made his way back to the dorms without looking back at the spider on the desk sure of the poison's success_.

After that, he remembered himself drinking the potion.

But he was not dead. What went wrong? Why? Severus curled up inside him in a fetal position on the floor as the flood of old and new memories swirled in his mind. 

He couldn't focus on anything, the memories just floated and sank and he couldn't distinguish between them, it was confusing, scary... and it hurt. 

At some point, he looked up and saw the people staring at him. He didn't even realize who they were in the vague state he was in until Black made the last remark and everything shattered. 

Suddenly he found it hard to breathe. He went back to being a useless kid and the Marauders found him. Oh, hell, the Potters adopted him. A lump of panic erupted in his chest, why? Did they want a child? He can't know. James and Sirius played with him? Remus and Peter stood up for him? Since when has he been with them on first names..? 

He was a Potter! No, hell... what... how...? Air..! He can't... can't breathe..! 

Lily! Lily is back to talk to him! A glimmer of hope blossomed in his chest and was immediately crushed, would she want to continue talking to him now that he was not a toddler anymore? 

"...rus. Severus!" He wrote in the corner of his mind that someone was trying to call him and he tried to focus on the voice that spoke to him.

He saw a lady, Euphemia he remembers but he could speak his throat felt dry and he could coordinate his mind and his body.

He saw the worried eyes of James. No, Potter! behind her along with Siri...-Black! and he didn't know if he should laugh at the absurdity of having them worried for him or if he should cry of happiness for the same reason.

Was he doing it? Was he crying or laughing or both? He wasn't sure. His head hurt and the room started spinning it was too much for him.

His head ached in pain, and the ringing in his ears grew louder and louder... the colors were too bright and... why couldn't he breathe? 

His vision was blocked by Euphemia, she knelt beside him and spoke in a calm and steady voice. It took him a good few minutes for the words to start reaching him. 

"Severus." She called to him. "Focus on my voice. Everything is fine, we're here. No one will hurt you. Yes, darling. Everything is fine. Can you try to focus on me? Let's breathe together. Breathe, exhale, in, out. Shhh, yes, just like that. You're doing excellent, sweetie. Come again. Focus on my breathing..." 

With tremendous effort, Mrs. Potter managed to calm the boy down slowly. The rest huddled near the door and were afraid to move. 

When most of the crisis seemed to be behind, Fleamont put his hand on James' shoulder, "Go get some clothes, son." He said quietly without taking his eyes off the shaky shape of the thin boy in his wife's arms. 

James didn't linger and a few seconds later Euphemia helped Severus get out of the tiny, torn clothes and get into James'. The clothes were hanging on his skinny body but this was a better option than going in four-year-old toddler clothes.

He still looked frightened and flinched at any sudden moment but at least he was managing to keep his breathing. Euphemia stayed by his side while Fleamont called the healer since they weren't sure how to treat them.

While they waited Severus kept drifting trough memories all mixed up, his eyes were unfocused and aside from some trembling his body didn't move. 

Sirius glanced at Severus and winced at the sight of the visible pink marks on the boy's wrists, it was hard to see and it actually made him feel bad. 

James also had a glimpse of it but he decided to avoid it completely trying to focus his attention on anything else. 

After what felt like an eternity in an awkward silence Fleamont appeared on the room.

After him came the healer, for a moment he seemed too astonished at the development, for he had examined the boy quite often lately, and it was hard not to notice the distinction between the four-year-old and the sixteen-year-old. But it will be said to his credit that he recovered after a moment and turned to examine the boy without a word. 

The boys were expelled from the room while both concerned parents refused to move away and therefore stayed there. The boys worried too, but no one asked them. 

They went out into the hallway and just blushed to take one last hurried look at their classmate and their adopted brother. The black-haired teenager exactly then tilted his head and James felt a hole open in his stomach when he noticed the long, thin scar on the side of his head. 

He seemed to have kept all the injuries and scars from both lifetimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop, that seems you guys like cliffhangers, ah? ^^ last chapter we've got really a lot of comments, that was so nice! Thank you!


	24. Insanity

The healer took his time checking the teenager and made a full body deep diagnosis. He wasn't happy with the results.

The teenager was worst in health than the child by far. He was underweight and therefore malnourished and even anemic. 

He had fractured bones that hadn't been healed properly, infections that hadn't been well treated and most of his organs were bruised and not in the best condition either. 

The only logical explanation of why this youth hadn't dropped dead at some point was the very extraordinarily powerful magic core he had, it had kept him functioning even with his body so wrecked. 

Still, the healer was very worried since there was no assurance of how long his magic will keep helping him survive especially since his emotions and mind weren't helping either.

He asked Fleamont to speak privately and they went to his room. In there the healer explained the situation, how bad it was and how they needed to act as soon as possible. 

He recommended having the boy interned for a few days at san mungo to treat the worst of his condition and then keep the treatment at home. 

He also recommended a mind healer since the boy looked obviously not ok and would be needing a lot of help to process everything that had happened.

They would also need to keep a close eye on him to keep him from harming himself and to ensure he would recover.

It was really a lot of information and the head of the Potter family knew not to take lightly the subject. The matter was very sensitive and didn't suffer any delay, but on the other hand, all the details had to be considered and the treatment and the therapist needed carefully selected. 

At first, they really turned to St. Mango, Severus' injuries were the first priority, how long they would stay there, it was a given that they had not yet decided on, depending on how the developments would be revealed. 

They wanted to leave the boys at home, but the four didn't agree in any way and threatened to ride on Sirius' motorcycle if they refused to appear them to the hospital, in the end, the worried family sat outside the room and waited impatiently. 

Peter pokes his wrists nervously, Sirius steps back and forth in the hallway, while James and Remus sway in place with anxious looks. The boys didn't speak, nor did the parents, but it was far from a relaxed silence, the silence was oppressive. 

At some point, Euphemia approached the secretariat to consult about a recommended mental health expert and now she and her husband discussed with hesitant voices the options.

After several hours a female healer came out and approached them, she told them they would need to keep him for a week since there were some treatments that would need to be done there but couldn't be done in a day, such as regrowing several bones which apart from painful needed to be done on sessions since there were several ones that needed to be treated and they could at most 3 at the same time. 

They also needed to make sure he had a very constant amount of nutritional and replenishing potions to fight against the worst of his anemia and malnutricement. 

She started explaining some aftercare he will be needing once at home, the potions he would be taking, the food he could eat, which not and the amounts he needed, she gave them some recommendations for exercises he could do at home, how often he would need to be checked back by a healer and also recommended a mind healer after she had treated some slightly infected self made cuts on his body. 

At last, she told them the visiting hours he would have for the next days. That night they were only able to see him 10 minutes and he was unconscious due to the treatment.

Once back at home they decided they needed to made sure he would be as comfortable as possible when he was back. So they all started helping change Raven's room with Lily's help and bought him new things.

The work was conducted in silence. It has been difficult to wrap up in recent developments. Everyone of them tried to deal with their problems around the situation, but it was too stressful. 

Remus and Lily cleaned and arranged excessively thoroughly, probably the accuracy and focus on another work was their coping mechanism. They exchanged words from time to time, mostly something like: "Put the chair on the other side," or "Where to put the textbooks?" Beyond that everything was quiet. 

Peter ran around the room, moving random objects from side to side and back, biting his nails all the time. James and Sirius had the hardest time, or so they believed. 

It all just happened too fast. Really. They have barely adapted to one situation and already the next life-changing development. They thought they were able to overcome the fact that their little Raven was Severus Snape, they really thought they were able to accept it, internalize and respect... but knowing it and seeing in their eyes was so different. It was so... 

There were no words.

The next day they visit Severus around lunchtime, they decided to get him a book and some get well cards. Peter had grabbed on a rush the bunny plushie and carried with him to distract himself.

When they finally entered the room he was staying at, the teenagers gasp on shock, Severus looked different, so different.

The first and the biggest change was his nose, apparently they had fixed it and now it fitted his face perfectly making him look younger and cuter. His teeth also had been corrected and now were perfect white pearls. 

His skin looked pale still but not deadly white like before. Now he only needed to gain some weight and fix his skin and hair and he would be freaking beautiful. 

The boy looked at them when he heard them enter his eyes light up for a moment and he mumbled a "brother" but all too soon he seemed to get back to the dull look and jerked his head to the other side trying to hide his face with his hair.

Euphemia was the first to approach, "hi sweety, how are you feeling?" He looked cautiously through the curtain of hair frowning a little. 

"Umm, we brought you something Sev," said Lily next showing him the book on her hands. He bit his lip unsure of what to say or how to act. 

Apart of him wanted to run to the other teenagers and hug them but the other part of his brain was against it wanting to scream at them and throw them out of the room. He was starting to get a headache again with his mind fighting itself. 

He took a look at the boys and suddenly something got his attention, unconsciously he reaches it with his hand and before he knew it he was clutching a bunny to his chest feeling somewhat better without knowing why.

After a moment he recorded in his mind how embarrassing the situation was and he swallowed nervously, not making eye contact with anyone. 

No one laughed, and he expected it with Mr. and Mrs. Potter in the room, but it didn't make his anxiety go down. 

He didn't have many people in his life, he was lonely most of his years, but how can it be that the only time he is surrounded by people - with positive interaction, for a change, these must be his old bullies and his first crash, of all the people in the world. Seeing him in such a humiliating and vulnerable situation... 

But no one spoke, and when he looked up carefully, no one seemed to mock on him or - what was much worse - pity.

They seem worried for him, Sirius awkwardly handed him a handkerchief and he suddenly notices he had tears running down his cheeks.

He felt a lump at his throat and tried to hide from them again. It was all so confusing and his head was hurting and he didn't know what to do.

They exchanged a few words with him, get well wishes mostly, he only nodded stroking the plushie. 

A nurse came then and told them the time was up, they looked genuinely sad as if they actually wanted to be with him but he just couldn't understand why.

Why anyone would want to be with him? He knew too well he wasn't worth it, they eventually learned how broken and useless he was and they all leave, that's why it had all happened because he no longer had anyone to care.

A part of him, the childish part wanted so bad for their love to be real, it hopes they would be the exception, that they wouldn't leave him, but Lily had already done it once what stopped her now that he was again the disappointing, sour teenager? Why would he hope for his bullies to love him? 

None of it made sense to him. He watched them say their goodbyes looking still worried and sad for him even if he didn't deserve it.


	25. The Panic Alarm!

Severus didn't like the course of developments. He felt awful enough with himself as he is and now he has to meet a mental healer. As if he's some insane mental patient. 

What a joke, isn't it? Severus Snape -or should he say, Potter? He really didn't believe how bad the sense of humor of fate- the greasy and disgusting snake that all Hogwarts -and the whole world out there too, but who counts?- considered the most worthless disturbing dirt, dark, disgusting, stupid, incompetent, poor and lowly, now also mentally ill. It was insulting, it was humiliating, and worst of all, it was true. 

And that's what made it even worse.

But he still went to a meeting with the psychologist, or the replacement for it in the wizard world, not because he wanted to, but because Euphemia Potter asked, and somehow, he found he just couldn't say no. 

That's how he found himself drowning in a sofa that was too soft and answered with bitterness and sarcasm answers the questions from the healer talking to him.

Before he knew it was over and even if he was reluctant he had to admit it wasn't so terrible at least she hadn't pushed him into speaking about anything in particular just let him talk as little as he wanted. He was supposed to go to two more appointments before being released from the hospital. 

He was having a hard time trying to interact with the others when they visited him. He finds it impossible to be mean when they were all being so nice to him, but it was also too weird to suddenly be nice so he settle for just listening and giving short answers.

All to soon he was being discharged from san mungo and he couldn't hide how nervous he was about going to live with the Potters.

He was going to still have those appointments with the mind healer every day an hour in the afternoon except on Sundays. 

He didn't know if she could actually help him or make any difference he knew how to screw up he was and it seemed a bit pointless to make her lose her time with him but they all seemed settled on making him have those sessions.

He looked at the door where the family where standing, they helped him and took him with them to their house, for some reason they all seemed really excited to get home.

He followed them to their house, feeling weak. An uncomfortable silence prevailed among the boys, but no one broke it. 

On the kitchen table, he noticed envelopes, five of them. These were Hogwarts letters for next year. 

Severus frowned, one was aiming for him, a sign that Dumbledore knew about him? How much he did try to understand, he just couldn't, what game does this old man play? 

Euphemia's lips were drawn to a thin, dissatisfied line as she looked at the letters. She recovered and turned to the boys. "Another thing," she said, looking at James and Sirius who rushed to open their letters. They froze and looked at their mother nervously, "as another clause in your punishment, you will move to live in Slytherin dormitories this year. Your house will still be Gryffindor but your residence will be located in Slytherin. Same thing for you two," She added in the direction of Remus and Peter, "your parents agreed that this is the right thing to do. The arrangement was agreed with the management and there is no opening for discussion."

They looked surprised and ready to argue especially Sirius but with a harsh glare and a discreet motion to were Sev was Remus stopped him. 

Severus was even more surprised by that statement and even more at the lack of arguing from them, he had expected a huge tantrum with a lot of insults to him and the other Slytherins. 

Euphemia added, "You will be sharing all a room the five of you and you need to help Severus in anything he may need." 

She now looked directly at him "I know you must be used to taking care of yourself and been on your own but you're not alone anymore, we truly love you and I know they may be difficult at times but they also want to take care of you and makeup all the damage they did to you, please allow us to help you."

Severus didn't know what to answer and his eyes widen in surprise when he looked at the other boys nodding and looking sincere, like they really cared. He still doubts it somewhat but he nodded, he didn't know if he was going to be capable of letting others into his life but right now he didn't think he could deny them. 

Sirius suddenly broke the silence "Hey um how about we take you to your room, I bet you need some rest Ray-Ray I-I mean... er Severus."

It felt so wrong, and suddenly the shell was broken and Severus was filled with anger and anxiety. 

He didn't want to live with his tormentors. Sure, he suffered from school too much, but to share a room with the worst four? Hell, no, no! 

"What did I do to get it?!" He erupted, panting in shallow breaths. He ignored the surprised and slightly hurt look in his sharp adoptive mother's eyes. "I don't share a room with them! Do you want to move them? Move! But not with me! I don't need a babysitter!" He tried to maintain firmness to the threat, but his voice broke at the end of the trial. 

The air was too thick again, and he just couldn't fill his screaming lungs, he scratched his neck in distress. He was desperate... 

Euphemia grabbed his hands gently but firmly, "Severus, please stop, you're hurting yourself!" 

Severus writhed under her grip in an insanely bordering distress and tried to walk away. "No, no..." he choked. 

"Severus, let's talk about it, we won't force you to any circumstances. You are right, you are not a baby, we are sorry we didn't ask you. They will be in a separate room in the Slytherin dormitory, but you have to choose someone to stay with you, at least one person, okay? We can't let you be alone when you can hurt yourself."

"I'm not the baby you liked!" He sobbed "I'm the same freaking weirdo, the loner, the creepy bastard you all loathed, I don't understand why you even care anymore, I'm back to all you hated so just leave me like everyone else already!" He cried. 

His body was shaking and he hated how he couldn't control it, he hated the idea of being alone again but he knew better than to hope against it.

He was evil, a freak, useless, a burden to have around, there was nothing good on him anymore. 

The younger version of him they had somehow liked had been lost long ago, innocence and trust shattered by the life he had.

He no longer believed in happy endings or good things happening to people like him because he knew they would last it would hurt more if he let himself believe in them. 

They were all looking at him with worried expressions some with guilt and sadness. "I wish the potion had worked like it was supposed to" he mumbled.

He raged, he knew it, but he didn't care enough. He wanted to get away, he wanted to be left as usual, this was his familiar, real environment. He wanted someone to care enough... no. He was not... he does... But there wasn't. He was desperate. He didn't know what he wanted. 

He wanted air. 

His hands moved to scratch his neck in a desperate need to open a non-existent block, his fingernails stuck in his skin, forming angry crescent-shaped red dents on his milky skin, and he hated the burning sensation in his eyes. He wanted to be dead. 

"Why didn't it work?!" He cried, his breaths short and panting in panic. 

Smack! 

Suddenly everything stopped. With his hand on his injured cheek, Severus raised his teary eyes to the face of the angry Black standing above him. "Do not say that!" He hissed threateningly. 

Against his will, Severus let out a bitter giggle, "Why? Would you rather I put it another way? Well, so what a shame your lovely plan from the fifth year didn't work out. Does that satisfy you? "

Sirius' face darkened. The Potter couple's eyes turned to look at Sirius, with a look that clearly said there was going to be another conversation later.

A sad hurt smile appears on Severus as tears finally fall from his eyes "I thought you of all people would be glad to get rid of me, the evil bothersome scum that kept getting on your way." 

Sirius was really angry and had to restrain himself from smacking the boy again remind himself of the sweet little boy he loves so much. 

"Things have changed, we were wrong you're not bad and should be thinking like that." Said Sirius looking straight at him, his fist clutched on his shirt.

"We care about you, we didn't know all you went through and we were stupid to treat you the way we did," said James this time. He looked hurt and worried. 

The both of them wished they could have little Raven back but knew they now loved him no matter how he was and weren't going to make the same mistakes.

"You wouldn't care if I hadn't turned into a weakling child that you all ended up pitying." Said Severus caressing one of the old scars on his wrist.

James bit his tongue and looked guiltily at the thin, sharp scar on Severus' face, which was their personal fault, proof of their recklessness and thoughtlessness. 

Severus was right, if he had not become a toddler, they would never have recognized their mistake, and oh, how amazing it would have been to continue living in the perfect illusion they had built for themselves, and heck, how awful it would have been to continue living in hallucination. 

Sirius' thoughts seemed to follow this trajectory, as James saw his eyes stare at that infamous scar of guilt. 

"You're right." Said Remus and broke the silence. Severus looked up and stared at the other boy. "But we-" he stared for a moment at his two friends, "-and I speak on behalf of all of us, really glad your potion failed, which is really an unbelievable thing in itself, but it happened. We lived in a shallow and thoughtless world and you helped us understand it, and getting to know you. This is the best summer vacation I've had and I've learned in this amount of time more than I've learned in all the last six years at Hogwarts. You can't imagine how much I -we- thank the universe for it." 

Severus stared at him and didn't answer, as the silence extended beyond the comfort zone, Euphemia intervened. 

"Severus," she turned to him softly, as if he might break at any moment, it alone made him frown and open his mouth to argue, but Mrs. Potter struck him with it and put her hand on his, "I know you have been through a lot. We will not press you in any decision that you choose as long as it doesn't harm you." Her face expressed so much caring that Severus felt his eyes sting, he didn't remember the last time someone cared about his safety to such an extent. 

Euphemia smiled, "You have time to think about what you want to do. We will support you. Whether you choose to stay in your dorm, move to another house or not return to Hogwarts anymore. It's all your choice." 

With these words, Severus felt that all his fighting spirit was being emptied. Is he was free..?

It was... new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a while, but we continue with our drama ;)


	26. Emotional Roller Coaster

Severus nodded slowly he wasn't sure what to say or how to act on this newfound freedom but he knew he needed time to process it and think.

After a moment of silence, James spoke again, "So...um how about we go to rest now? Let's get Severus to his room."

The other boys nodded and they seemed a bit more excited for some reason Severus didn't understand. They walked on silence for a couple of minutes and then they stopped in front of a door he vaguely remembered as the room he had been using.

Sirius took the initiative and with a small sincere smile opened the door. Severus' expression instantly changed to one of genuine surprise as he stepped into the room.

The room was very different from what he remembered, the room was painted in sky blue and had a bigger bed. All the toys and plushies were placed on a corner on a shelf and a chest. 

The stag, the dog, the raven, the wolf, the rat and the bunny were together behind his bed. 

It had two large bookcases with lots of books and a desk. The closet was filled with clothes and he had a new trunk on the end of the bed. His wand lay on the top of it. 

He gently touched the bed feeling the softness and kept noticing more and more details that made the place look warm and somehow his.

Remus came closer and asked in a gentle voice, "Do you like it?" 

Peter said after, "we can change it if you don't, we just thought you needed a space to feel more comfortable."

His heart soared in his chest and he felt a strange and pleasant warmth spreading in that place, but on the other hand, he felt fear. Severus swallowed the lump in his throat. It was so out of the boys' character, it could not be real... could it be a prank that would immediately explode in his face? 

He took a few breaths and tried to calm his emotional turmoil. No... if Euphemia let him go with them, that's a sign she was sure they wouldn't hurt him, right? But... he swallowed, what if it was just okay on her part? The older Potters made an impression of smart and kind-hearted people, but so was Dumbledore before he found out who he really is... people wear masks every moment. And besides, he reminded himself, these people were the parents of James Potter, they were the people who raised that bully.

Looking at the boy confused and struggling with his feeling Euphemia decided to let him rest. 

"Boys we should let him rest and settle down." Euphemia said trying to give Severus some time to explore his room and look for himself their good intentions.

"Fine if you need anything we'll be downstairs," said Sirius a bit disappointed from not getting the exited happy expression he had been hoping for. 

With that, they leave and Severus was on his own. He was having a bit of a headache like every time his "minds" crossed themselves. 

He was still very confused about his feelings a part of him, the childish one, madly loved them and wanted to run to them hug them smile and thank them for all they were doing. 

The teenager on him on the other side couldn't trust them no matter how much they tried to approach, that part was filled with distrust, resentment and bad memories of them that made it impossible for him to follow the childish desires. 

It would be so easy to erase it all and enjoy the good things they were offering, but he knew better than to let himself be disappointed again, it was just too painful and even if he would never admit he was scared to death to be hurt again, abandoned, to face the undeniable fact that he was the one nobody could love.

Severus buried his head in his soft pillow, inadvertently wallowing in the contrast of the white pillowcase and the strands of black hair that fell unkindly on it. 

Black vs. white. Darkness versus light. Wasn't that the whole game? Slytherin vs. Gryffindor, always like that, with predictable results, like the beautiful literary fiction that the good guys always win. Victory is such a relative thing... not that it would matter to him. 

He was Slytherin, Dark, Evil. His soul was as black as night, with no trace of light and hope. Black and filthy, slippery and greasy, Severus thought in a gloomy spasm, just like his hair. 

He stared at the lack of focus on these colors. Who was it that said the world is not black and white? He let out a gloomy bark of laughter, how wrong he was, he needed to see the world like that. 

After all, everything is written. Everyone just puppets meant to act in a predetermined way, appearance, status, family, wealth... it dictated the path for them, it made them the people they became. 

Those who came from a good life, will inevitably be good, like James, but the one who was born to a low point, will be bad. Hogwarts taught him that, Hogwarts let him understand it.

A few days passed were Severus had his appointments with his mind healer, he hated to admit it but it did help greatly having someone to listen and help unravel all the chaos on his mind. 

It had been hard at first since he naturally didn't trust anyone but the lady, Mrs. Cooper a thirty-something old lady, turned out to be more patient than he had ever thought and with that, he started venting out to her at first because he thought it would drive her away but eventually he notice it did help.

She and the other healer that was in a charge of him had started making him develop a sort of routine that included daily self care such as cleaning his body with girly products like oils and creams, doing exercise every morning, having a complete breakfast, lunch meal and dinner and taking potions to improve his health.

He had been really reluctant at first but it was that or staying at san mungo again. Little by little he had started noticing changes his skin was smothered and porcelain pale instead of sickly grayish, his hair was no longer greasy and he stopped having acne. 

His teeth had been fixed and cleaned as well since he had a few broken ones before, now they looked like white pearls. 

He didn't really like to look in the mirror since he didn't recognize himself anymore, yeah at some point in his life he had dreamed to be good looking but now... it just felt like a waste on him.

He also had been avoiding the other at much as he could since he still didn't know how to act with them not even with lily. They were just so nice to him it didn't make any sense to him and he felt like a jerk whenever he wasn't nice in return but at the same time, he couldn't just act too nice because it was still them.

And there was the matter of Hogwarts. He has not yet announced his decision, and in fact, he hasn't yet decided what it will be. It was so convenient just not to think about it, it was complicated. 

Among himself, he admitted that the thought of not returning to Hogwarts was tempting. 

Euphemia mentioned that if he chose that, they could look for other schools, magical or not, or that he would study with them at home. It was just so amazing and confusing that Severus at that moment just stood like a statue staring at a woman. She was willing to leave her job to stay with him at home and teach him throughout the year. He wasn't used to such devotion on the part of the adults, he wasn't used at all to caring, but it was amazing. And he felt drowning. 

He knew he wouldn't choose this option, he can't do it to this woman. While James was always terrible towards him, his parents weren't. No. Not James... Potter. They were different... But it was so wrong to keep thinking of him as a 'Potter' when he knew Fleamont and Euphemia. ~~(And when he was a Potter himself.)~~

But he couldn't leave. The policy has changed, according to the Potter couple. But more than that, not going back there means losing. Not just losing, but letting others see his vulnerability, letting others see that they won and eventually broke him. And he would not let the accursed Dumbledore and everyone else get that satisfaction. He was proud enough to defend his long-shattered honor.

If he had managed to survive by now, he would have continued. And in the end, he would look at all those childish and immature adults and prove he came out a winner.


	27. Awakening

Everything was so confusing, one day they were playing with cute little Raven or as they had learned later on Severus and suddenly things change and now they had a confused teenager, Peter wonders how that had happened.

He looked at the other youths in the living room and even though they tried to appear calm he knew they most definitely weren't.

He could notice the anxious little movements here and there, lip biting, legs moving taping in quick sequence the floor, sweaty hands taking any object at reach to try to distract themselves.

They were all sick worried and he knew everyone's thoughts were on the same raven-haired boy, Severus Snape.

He had recently been interned in St Mungo due to his bad health and some injuries he had. He hasn't been there when he had aged but Sirius had told them how skinny he had looked with his bones visible through his skin and oh boy the awful marks on his body he hadn't been able to watch them closely but the glimpse they had thought shredded clothes were enough to scare James and Sirius and made them feel even more guilty.

Sometimes the memory of Severus in such a horrible state was so bad Sirius would feel anxious and punched the wall making the potters worried, that behavior along with the newest trauma and the information the had just learned about that awful murder attempt made them decide to send Sirius with a mind healer too. They knew he also had a difficult childhood and never learned how to cope with his emotions.

Remus had been weirdly quiet after learning about the marks on his wrists and Lily had cried non-stop for a full day.

He readjusted his attention to her, she seemed a bit calmer but he could still see the redness on her eyes and the worried frown on her face.

Even after the endless treatments in recent days, his body was adorned with scars. Too much to ignore. Of course, it was about the improper home life his father passed him on, but as embarrassing as it may be, Hogwarts... no, _they_ , were responsible for much of it.

Peter felt a deep shame writhing in the pit in his stomach. Severus was marked, and not of his choice... forever. It was predictable, it was impossible to return something destroyed to its original state. But he saw the crushing guilt in the eyes of his two friends as they looked at the sharp scar on the side of the pale face. No matter what they seem to do, the two pairs of eyes, hazel and gray, were always drawn to the same place.

They tried to be careful around him, not to press, not to make sudden movements (at first they didn't fully understand the matter, but the healers and the parents explained to them that Severus had been traumatized and could suffer from PTSD and nightmares. They still couldn't understand how it happens, so tried to just be careful).

Severus had spent the last few days mostly in his room only going out in the morning to breakfast and a walk around the garden and to the other meals which were quite uncomfortable with the occasional "pass me the salt" and nothing more.

Lily kept visiting but even she didn't have the desired reactions from him, he usually would be more polite to her but still wouldn't spend much time with her.

She remembered the day she had found about his change, how worried she had been after receiving the letter, she had gone as fast as she could to their house only to found him missing, later she learned it had been due to health issues that he had been taken to St Mungo.

After learning everything that had happened the prior days and how badly Sev was she couldn't stop the tears from falling no matter how much she tried.

The guilt of not helping him when they were younger and then just abandoning him was too much. She kept wondering how different things could have been for Sev if she had done something on time to stop his father's damage on him.

She kept wondering if he would still have tried to kill himself if she had been there supporting him, the fact that the answer was probably not made her cry harder.

In a rational mind, the girl knew she could not really do much for the boy when they were children. She herself was young, and even if she could understand the severity of the situation, she could hardly make an impact. She, of course, could have told her parents at the time, but she really didn't know if Severus would interpret it as a betrayal...

The thought led her to tear to tears and loud sobs. Maybe in the past, she was a kid, but what can she claim to her credit for last year? Didn't she literally betray him? Left him to crushes... Wasn't that what sent him on that last trip? The thing that made him... commit... Lily swallowed with a hoarse throat. Is it all was her fault..?

She hoped she could do more but even now because of her actions she wasn't close enough to have his trust, she could see it, he acted all tense and uncomfortable around her and she didn't know what to do to gain him back.

She looked around the living room to the boys there with her. They had changed a lot that summer, had become more mature and actually cared for Severus.

It was so weird thinking of everything that had happened, it definitely sounded crazy but it was real and now all of them had to deal with it.

She looked at James it seemed the change had affected him more than he wanted to admit, he had gotten used to little Sev following him around like he was some kind of superhero and he had gotten very attached to the little boy.

James crossed his eyes with Lily before looking back to the toy he had in his hand, it was one of Raven's favorite, he had said it remembered him of James since it was a quidditch player.

He rolled it on his hands thinking of little Raven his little cute loving brother he somehow had lost, well not entirely but it still felt like it.

Sometimes landing on the ground in the reality was the only thing that could wake you up from the irresponsible sleep.

They blunder so hard, each one of them, and now there were repercussions. And they didn't even know how they were going to start fixing it, they were just teens... but they are the ones who have destroyed it and they are the ones who will have to fix it.

They didn't talk much. There was not much to say at the moment. Everyone mourned for themselves and considered what to do. But they would find a solution, she knew it and took the trouble to tell the rest, heroes are supposed to help others in any situation, and they aspired to such domestication. After all, why have they been so proud of Gryffindor in the last five years?


	28. A Little Break

As days keep passing the start of Hogwarts was getting closer and Severus felt more anxious without knowing how to feel about it. 

He still hadn't decided if he was going back and if he was going to share a room with any of the other boys. 

His relationship with the Potters (the parents) has improved in the last few days. He had learned all they had done to change Hogwarts to make sure he wasn't bullied again and he felt grateful to them.

He had spent a bit of time with them each time and it was impossible to dislike them with them being so attentive and nice to him. 

They were so different from what he had imagined, smart patient and nice, he still couldn't understand how their son had turned into a bully, even if a small voice told him he wasn't so bad either.

He tried to ignore that voice, it was his young and innocent self, so he trusts his brothers not to imagine what horrors they are capable of doing. What atrocities they committed, passed _him_ through. 

He reminded this to his young self over and over again, but 'Raven' saw them as his saviors, noble heroes... that was silly.  
  
Sometimes he wondered if it was normal for him to argue with his young self or if he was just going crazy. He was still unsure, though the psychiatrist told him it was a perfectly normal and obvious thing, since he had two opposite lines of memory from the same people. He didn't know where it put him. 

But he knew he would return to Hogwarts, and no, he wouldn't share a room with the Marauders. Euphemia mentioned that he would have to choose at least one roommate, as if she was afraid he would cut himself or try to commit suicide if he would left alone... Ha! As if he had to work so hard to get murdered at Hogwarts...

James humiliated him in front of the whole school and destroyed his image and everything he had, Sirius literally tried to feed by him a werewolf... with them she wanted him to stay? No thanks. And no matter how much Raven jumped in excitement at the opportunity. He wondered about the other two, they weren't as impulsive and irrational as his two adoptive brothers, but yet...

He still needed time to make a choice it definitely wasn't an easy one. He heard a knock on his door and then Euphemia appeared from behind the door. 

"Hi, sweety I wanted to let you know I asked for vacations so I can be with you these days before you go back to Hogwarts."

She stepped into the room and took sit beside him "I know it has been hard but I want to let you know Fleamont and I are very proud of you and we truly love you and care for you." 

She took his hand on his and with a gentle smile told him "You are not alone, I know we all made mistakes and some of those caused you a lot of pain but I hope we can make it up for you somehow." 

Sev felt his eyes watering a bit and hated to be so sensible but at the same time, how could he be mean to her when all she wanted was to help him? 

"You want to spend some time together? We can do whatever you want Fleamont will join us later".

Severus shrugged, unaware of anything better to do. He wondered casually, if the other boys would also join the family outing, after all, they had the right to it, even more than him. Euphemia must have wanted to see them too before they returned to Hogwarts, didn't she? 

Euphemia took him to Muggle London, and it was surprising, Severus wondered if the witch had ever been there before, with all the pure-bloods were usually concentrated in the magical world, even such proud Gryffindors. He didn't ask, but apparently, Euphemia saw the question in his eyes or just wanted to explain and so she answered. 

"I wanted a quiet place..." Severus raised an eyebrow as she was interrupted by a seller and a customer arguing loudly and shouting about the price of some merchandise. "Well, not exactly quiet," she giggled, "but something... different, you know." 

And he knew and understood. It wasn't the quiet they wanted, Potter House has been too quiet the last few days but the atmosphere has been thick and oppressive. The daily noise was kind of... liberating? Just a normal life with no past that will pull you to the bottom of the ocean. 

They found a small cafe and bought ice cream, Severus had to come to the aid of his adoptive mother when he realized that this was the first time she had used Muggle money.

They went through the different stores and he ended up stopping at a book shop, he relaxed, even more, the second the "brand new book" smell filled him. 

Euphemia smiled and motioned him to go and take his time while she herself looked around.

Severus just loved books, they had always been the only constant in his life, as a child, they were his only escape, his own little heaven in the hell he lived in, but it wasn't just that, thanks to them he had survived.

Basic medical skills to heal himself and his mother? Learned from books from the public library. How to cook the bare minimum food you can get your hands on and make it last as much as possible? Learned from books. Which plants you can use to make simple helpful potions to aid yourself? Books. How to sew, mend and fix your clothes to make them last? Books again. 

So books make themselves Severus addiction. He could only feel this level of peace around them. He read the titles and started taking some for himself. How he wished he could stay there forever.

The day has improved miraculously. Who knew books could do that? (He did.) 

By the time he raised his head from the book he was reading, the day was already dark. Severus half expected to see Euphemia impatience, or not there at all, but the woman, surprised him pleasantly (as she did all so much). She stayed in the store and looked remarkably relaxed as she flipped through some leaflet. As if feeling his gaze, she looked up and smiled at him, her face showing not the slightest hint of nervousness or tension. (Was this the real mother of James Potter..? Sometimes he wondered how lucky the Gryffindor boy was...)

Euphemia approached Severus with a gentle smile and asked if he was ready to leave, he nodded taking some books and they purchased them before going back home.

The next days much to Severus surprise were very pleasant and calm, he mostly spends them with Euphemia or reading in his room sometimes Fleamont would join them on their silent reading in the living room. 

He got to know Fleamont a bit better too, they got engaged in long conversations about potions that Severus found refreshing and exciting. 

With the marauders he seemed to finally be able to at least share the same room without having a panic attack or anxiety with his mind in a constant war, right now he was able to mostly ignored them and be somewhat polite, even with Lily things improved a little, she would still visit them occasionally and he was able to exchange more than just greetings with her, even if he still didn't have a clue on what he wanted with her, a friendship, being just classmates, nothing at all but nice when they meet? Not a clue for now but the healer said it was ok to take some time and he was doing that exactly, he wasn't going to rush into making decisions and make mistakes again.

Days passed like that and before they knew it the time had come to get back at Hogwarts.


	29. Back to School

Severus felt like a porcelain doll. Perhaps because everyone treated him like he was made of glass. No one argued with him and everyone accepted his election as if it were a royal decree. It was an extreme and amazing change, Severus found himself on unfamiliar ground, and it was scary. For in this world, not only the king was made of glass, but also everything else, and it would seem that if he took one exaggerated breath, everything would shatter.

And yet. They organized for Hogwarts, he got so many new and quality things, that his head felt dizzy from the abundance. He's never had things like this, never so much, even if you put all the last five years of school together. 

Severus informed them that he would return to school, and everyone smiled softly at him, he announced that he would share Peter's room, and to that too, everyone just nodded without argument, he said he didn't want to see anyone else enter their room in the dorm, and again, everyone agreed as if they even didn't imagine to do such a thing in their minds. James simply said cheerfully that if he wanted to hang out with them, he was invited to the room he would share with Sirius and Remus, at all hours of the day and night, whenever he wanted. He emphasized this, albeit in a very light-hearted way. Severus just snorted and wrinkled his nose.

The last night before Hogwarts was the hardest one since his awakening, he was very nervous and kept remembering all that had happened this summer and barely slept. 

The next morning everyone sends him worried glances and Sirius had even taken his trunk to the carriage before he could say anything. 

He pouts on the way to the train station sit beside Euphemia, Remus and Peter had flooed home a few days before to finish their school preparations and bid farewell to their families and would be meeting them there.

He looked through the window and tried to keep his mind occupied until they were there. 

Once they arrived to the station, the Potters went with them all the way to the train which was very odd for Severus who doesn't have anyone accompany him since his first year. 

This time his trunk was taken by James and he didn't even bother to try to stop it just glare at him. 

Euphemia took his hand and took him to the side for a moment, she caresses his face gently and said, "Are you sure you want to go? It's ok if you don't feel ready we can still do homeschooling." 

Severus bit his lip for a moment thinking about it and almost giving in before shaking his head, despite how nervous he was he didn't want to be a coward he needed to at least try. He mumbled, "It's ok I'll go," before trying to give her a reassuring smile that turned out more stiff than reassuring.

Euphemia sighed but nodded before giving the boy a strong hug, she knew he didn't particularly like hugs but she needed to make him feel loved. "Ok dear, if you change your mind you can come home whenever you want, we will be happy to have you." 

She gave him a kiss on the forehead that had him feeling all warm and more calm inside before saying "We love you, Severus you are my son now never forget how much we care and love you, please write to us when you can, I want to know how you are."

Severus blushed a little at her words before nodding, she and Fleamont said goodbye to James and Sirius sharing hugs with them too before they climb on the train. Mr. Potter gave him one last gentle smile with a pat on the back before they completely entered the train.

Severus stopped in the aisle and let others continue. The boys entered an empty cell, leaving the door open for him, their eyes fixed on him as he stood in the doorway, expecting but not pushing. But after a brief thought, Severus passed the cell and continued the passage. He needed a break, some sort of disconnection from the dizziness his life had become alongside the Gryffindor companies, to figure out where he stood and what he was going to do. 

He needed a secluded place, even though more than two months had passed, he needed his safe place. 

A few minutes later, he found a quiet cell and settled into it with a sigh of relief. Maybe he will be able to find some peace from his bustling thoughts. 

But apparently, the universe really had a terrible sense of humor, because only half a minute after relaxing on his seat, the cell door opened again and his eyes met with dark, familiar eyes. Although in contrast to the usually flawless light skin, the skin around these eyes was irritated and red and dark circles appeared in it. 

For a long moment, the two boys were silent and stared at each other. Severus was silent. The last time he heard from Regulus was etched in his mind, he really had nothing to say.

The boy doubt for a moment not knowing if he should stay or leave after what he had done. 

He looked down for a moment filled with shame and guilt before deciding against it and starting to walk out of the cell but leaving he turned around and mumbled: "I'm really sorry..."

Severus glanced at him and nodded before looking back down without saying anything, he still felt upset with him.

Regulus gave one last shaky breath before leaving, he walked through the corridor he stops at the sound of another familiar voice calling him. 

Regulus turned around and found himself face to face with his brother. "Reg? Are you ok?"

"I..." Regulus swallowed thickly and nodded one reserved nod, "Yes." 

Sirius leaned against the door with his hands clasped, his gray eyes narrowed as he stared at his younger brother. Regulus didn't meet his gaze. 

"Your eyes are red as you cried all along the summer, and you look like a balloon out of the air. Stop lying." Sirius muttered, "Not that it works, you've never been good at it." 

The younger Black raised his head sharply, rage rising from his eyes, "What would you know?!" He cried. "Do not pretend to say you know me, you have left! You are no longer my brother!" He raged. 

Sirius always knew how to find ways to quarrel over the wrong points, or the right ones, depending on who was asking. 

"Still listening to everything dear mummy says? Really, I thought you would grow a spine by now, but you continue to be a loyal puppy, huh?" 

"Look Who's talking!" Regulus growled, his anger receding in favor of a sharp mockery, "I'm not the dog among us." 

Really, the next punch, he could have expected, but he didn't. Apparently, he had forgotten how often Sirius was physical, and how quickly he was made to descend in that direction. Regulus took a few steps back and folded in panting. His brother was strong. The young Slytherin raised his eyes, blinking a few tears of pain. 

"Where did you hear that?" Sirius paused for a moment and apparently drew some conclusions, "It doesn't matter. Do not repeat it out loud." 

Sirius' gaze wandered to the closed train compartments until he came to one that Regulus knew Severus was there, and lingered for a split second longer than necessary on the closed door. Gray eyes met dark brown, and for a brief moment there was silence, that is, before Sirius punched his brother again. 

Regulus fell this time, "What was it about?!" Exclaimed in shock. 

Sirius towered over him and his gaze showed disguised anger. "What about? Do you know what you have done?!" Regulus really didn't, Sirius was unexpected and impulsive, and the young Black had no idea what aroused his anger this time. 

But Sirius didn't wait for an answer because he immediately went on, "Do you know what your stupid letter did? That one where you were so determined to show what a good and disciplined son you are." He stopped and let Regulus wrap his head around what he said, a letter..? The one he wrote to Severus? There was no other, but... "He tried to kill himself!" 

Regulus' breath caught in his throat.

"N-no you're lying! There's no way Sev would do that a-and he wouldn't tell you of all people" 

Sirius snorted at that "Yeah? They how do I know about the letter? I even read it and what gives you the right to call him Sev after what you've done?" Said Sirius angrily pushing Regulus

"What I've done? You're one to talk! You don't even know half of the suffering your stupid bullying caused him! You can't come here to tell me I'm the bad one here after all the damage you did in the first place, you and your cronies are the reason he doesn't have any friends." Yelled Regulus pushing Sirius back, he felt guilty for what he did but Sirius was a lot worse than he was.

Sirius felt guilty having all his mistakes thrown at him again, he really felt bad for what he has done and cause to Severus and it pained him not being able to be close to him now after he had gotten so attached to little Raven, he missed his little boy badly.

He had needed to work on it in therapy so he wound hurt Severus anymore by forcing himself to him, he didn't like it but he understood now he needed to his time so he would come by himself. He was a bit mad for it and he admitted sometimes he had been close to lashing but by some miracle he hasn't done it so far, he only hoped to keep straight so he would eventually grow a relationship with Severus and maybe with some luck have the little cute child back, maybe not the same he knew but at least close enough he was sure deep down Severus still had the potential to be as loving and noble as Raven had been.

He got his mind back with Regulus he sighed and answer "I know my faults and I really regret all the pain I caused Severus but I won't make the same mistake you did I know to leave him no matter what I really want to fix thing and I'll be there when he decides he wants me there. You say you care but you don't not when you leave him at his worst that not what a real friend does. " 

Regulus felt a knot on his stomach and his heart beating strongly, he wanted to believe it was all lies but the look on Sirius's eyes said otherwise. "How do I know you're saying the truth?"

"It's a very long story and it's not mine to tell, it's up to you if you want to believe it or not but what I told you it's true what you did really helped him try to take his life, we just were lucky he didn't succeed." 

Sirius looked again at the closed door hoping he could open it and find Raven smiling at him asking for a hug with his big eyes and joyful giggles, he smiled at the image of the child and it helps him calm himself. "Look I'm angry at you and I think you're stupid for following that crazy bitch but you're still my brother so I really hope you realize you're wrong, I'll be around if you do." 

With that, he went back to the other Gryffindors while Regulus took a moment to calm himself before going to search for another cell. 

Behind the door Severus took a step back from the door, he had listened all the exchanged and didn't know what to make of it, he felt angry and embarrassed from Sirius telling his secret to Regulus through he was grateful he hadn't told him everything and... he didn't know how to fell of what he had said of wanting to be with him but be willing to be patient, he had sounded sincere but Severus didn't know if he should trust him maybe he needed a second opinion so he made a mental note to spoke of it to his mind healer and get some rest for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We really hope you liked it!


	30. Hogwarts, Sweet Hogwarts

The sorting of the first years passed quickly and Severus didn't even remember one of the new students, he was too busy. 

Too busy with a lot of things. Like swallowing on the far side of a Slytherin table and avoiding the twinkling blue eyes that surveyed him from the head table, or ignoring the horrified expression on the face of the one Regulus Black who forgot to eat and just stared at him for some reason, or the marauders sitting at the red table talking to each other, from time to time they would send a smile at him who encountered a blank stare, they didn't do much more, but at least one of the four pairs of eyes was always on him, as if they were doing shifts. The fact... didn't bother him as it should and it was too weird. 

Severus ignored them all, it was much easier than figuring out what was going through each of their minds and what he was going to do about it. Instead, he focused on Lily, it was the best choice of all he had and simply, he could not avoid it. 

Lily just sat down next to him at the Slytherin table without asking anyone, not the Slytherins, nor the Gryffindors and not him. She just sent defiant looks at anyone who looked as if she dared them to do anything about it.

They didn't spoke just sit in silence eating and letting the sorting pass but to Severus that was a huge improvement in their relationship since he didn't felt uncomfortable or anxious like before.

They would be needed still time and work to be able to have even a little part of what they used to but Severus believed now it was really possible and not just a distant dreamlike before. 

Once the sorting ended the headmaster stood and asked everyone to pay attention. "Dear students and members of our esteemed school I have some announcements that concern all of us." 

He cleared his throat and glanced at the marauders. "From this day any behavior intended to harm others, be it as words or physical damage will not only be punished with detention and deduction of points, along with a personal apology to the victim, but it will also be notified to the families." 

Gasps and murmurs were heard from all the students some looked satisfied while others looked upset. Dumbledore continued speaking "If in a period of one month time you earn yourself three punishments for this specific infraction you will get yourself suspended and send to a counselor, apart from this a monthly report will be sent to all parents that will contain your school performance, detentions, personal development and health." 

The teachers didn't look pleased either with this since it meant more work for them but there was nothing to do about it. Dumbledore continued with the normal announcement and food appeared on the tables. Severus frowned when he looked at the already served plate in front of him with a variety of greens and meat, apparently, he was to keep the diet here. 

He sighed and started eating feeling the eyes of the marauders again on him probably to make sure he ate all. He felt a bit warm knowing there were persons concerned for him.

The opening meal ended quickly enough and Severus found himself marching towards the Slytherin dormitories. 

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Remus and Sirius arguing about something, Remus looked somehow a little upset and Sirius looked just... Sirius. They probably talked about what happened on the train, though, Severus had no real way to know. 

He assumed the boys would show up soon in the room dedicated to them in Slytherin and he really had no desire to think about it today, so he just kept walking. 

Lily accompanied him until they parted ways, she looked a little hesitant, but hugged him warmly and asserted that she expected to see him at breakfast in the hall tomorrow morning, before turning to the Gryffindor Tower with a good night's greeting, and Severus found himself alone.

He walked to the common room along with the other students a bit distracted thinking about the things he needed to do before bed at least until he suddenly crashed with someone bigger than him that had stopped abruptly.

They were already in the Slytherin common room so he wasn't surprised to see Avery and Mulciber in front of him along with other purebloods.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't our favorite half-breed you seem different Snape not as filthy as usual," Said Avery with a sneer making Severus glared.

The others of the group laughed at him while trailing him with their eyes as if he was some kind of animal on exhibition.

"I wonder how you managed that," continued Mulciber, "how did you get those things did you steal them?" 

"I'm more interested in how he tried so bad to look like one of us maybe we should do something about it." Wilkes made a pause looking at Severus with a sadistic expression before getting closer to him. 

"Bet we can put him in his place without the teachers knowing, there are lots of new courses we learned you will have the honor to be the first one to feel filthy little mudblood."

Wilkes stretch his hand with the intention of grabbing Severus' hair but before Severus or anyone else could react Wilkes was pushed hard enough to fall on top of the other two boys leaving them to spread on the floor. 

They glared up to whoever had dared to attack them only to be surprised by a very angry looking Sirius Black followed closely by James Potter looking equally furious and the other two of the infamous "Marauders". 

Severus who already had his hand on his wand also changed his angry expression to one of pure surprise not really expecting to have anyone defending him.

To be honest, fighting in the hallways wasn't a rare event at Hogwarts, but the following moments were truly a rare sight. The Golden Gryffindor Quartet fought in pure rage against some thugs from Slytherin? Suppose, but that all this would be a kind move in defense of another Slytherin? Well, it was obvious that it would attract the attention of all the students in the area, including those not in the area. 

Severus felt a dizzying feeling in his gut, so much so that he did not even reach for his wand and tried to join the battle that was being waged because of him. 

Eventually, Remus pulled him to his feet and dragged him to a safe distance. The other boys joined shortly afterward. James and Sirius looked bad, though, nothing was the result of the fight, they just looked very agitated and wild. 

"I just don't believe them! How can they do that?" Those were about the only words James could breathe.

"...Yeah, how could they do such a thing, eh?" Severus snorted. 

There was a tense silence. 

"Prongs, we-" 

"I know." 

"-did the same to Sev." 

Severus rolled his eyes, obviously, he knows, he just said that. "Just half a year ago, you would probably have thanked Mulciber for doing the job for you." He remarked, not really able to disguise the tone of bitterness in his voice. 

Sirius squinted at him, "You're right." 

Honestly, it surprised him. Not the fact he's right, he knew it, damn. Except that they agreed, and Sirius, of all the people. 

"That's what drives us so crazy..." continued the oldest Black, selecting the words, as if interrogating them for the first time now, "we behaved... Why did we hate the Death Eaters so much, if we behaved just like them?" 

That was a good question. 

Really.


	31. Crack

Everyone in hearing range gasped in surprise not only were the marauders defending a Slytherin and no any Slytherin but their favorite target and even more they were admitting at loud having been wrong at doing so, what was going on? 

Severus himself found himself immensely surprised by the last statement knowing it must be hard, especially for Sirius admitting being wrong and even more admitting having behaved like those he hated so much. 

Severus dropped his gaze and took a deep breath he needed to say something back even if he was struggling with his bitter memories of barely a few months ago. 

He took a few steps closer to them and with great difficulty, he said looking directly to their eyes, "Even if that is the case, you just help me so... thank you."

A huge smile appeared on Sirius and James faces more so in Sirius who looked about to go hug the smaller male but before he could give a step a hex hit Severus making him cry out.

All the presents got the attention back to the Slytherins, Mulciber had his wand out and a nasty smirked on his bruised face. 

"Really don't know what's going on with you blood traitors but like we said filth needs to be put on their places and you're next," He said pointing his wand at James but before he could say anything a firm voice of one of the professors interrupted them.

The boys turned their gaze, finding Slughorn approaching. 

"Now, boys, there is no need to quarrel. Oh, Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, I'm glad to see you." The man greeted cordially, "I heard that this year you will be sharing our dormitories, we will be happy to host you." 

So much for the man's cordiality and change of heart, eh? Severus mentally despised. Still looking for all the rich and important connections, he did not even mention Remus or Peter. 

"Thank you, Professor." James smiled, as if he had not been involved in a brawl just moments ago. And that was it. Severus forgot how well these boys played. Two months were enough to forget how they could have shown completely out of all the disorder they had evoked a few moments earlier? 

"Well, my children, I'm expecting to see you in the dorm, come on." 

"Sure," Sirius smiled his signature smile, "a few more moments we'll come." 

The professor nodded and left in the general direction of the dormitory, apparently to give his annual speech to the first-year students. 

As soon as Slughorn's figure disappeared from view, James pounced on Mulciber, Sirius not far behind. It was as physical and quite a battle as possible, Severus staring wide-eyed as his mind slid toward the reason for the attack. 

The Slytherin hit him with a hex, it was... Severus' face turned pale. No. Oh, no, just not that. It was a spell he invented at the end of last year, he never finished it or realized the opposite incantation. Oh, no, how did they find out? 

"James." 

Remus' voice was heard against the background of groans and fists thrown. James looked up and froze. The absolute terror in the eyes of his newly adopted brother couldn't be ignored. It was the exact moment that the biologist Potter son realized that Severus and Raven were the same person. He knew, of course, but now like a slap in the face, he _felt_. 

The Slytherin's facial expression radiated fear, a terrifying fear he clearly saw on little Raven as he fell from the backs of the 31-foot-tall broom in the air. 

Severus swallowed, he knew what he looked like now. He couldn't hide his feelings, he was like an open book, and would be like that until he could find the counter-spell. This is a disaster. All the masks he built so meticulously. All the horrible situations he managed to get through just because he could maintain a neutral and indifferent expression, is covered in a cruel scheme. Oh no. No, please no. Why can he not get a break? 

Severus had to get out of here before he lost it. He jumped up, running as madly as his legs could carry.

He tripped a few times on his way before bolting to the girls' bathroom he knew was always alone but before entering he crashed on someone. 

They both fell to the ground and Severus let out a strangled sob unable to control the flow of emotions overcoming him. He looked up in fear to see the person witnessing his shameful behavior and was surprised to see a shocked Regulus in front of him.

"Oh, my goodness! Severus, what happened?" Regulus was genuinely worried since he had never witnessed the other Slytherin so full of fear and with actual tears falling from his eyes.

Severus tried to calm himself and answer but all he got was a pitiful whimper and his body starting to tremble against his wishes. 

"Sev?" Regulus sits himself beside the distressed boy trying to be gentle. Before he could say more he was interrupted by some loud voices calling Severus name.

"He is here" yelled Remus waving at the others after having spotted both boys need the bathroom's entrance. 

The other three boys arrived in no time looking very agitated and worried. Severus couldn't believe his bad luck and felt very miserable in the middle of the other boys.

"Sev what happened? Are you hurt? Did that bastard hurt you? I swear if he did I'll kill him" said James looking enraged.

Severus flinched at the tone used by the other boy and all of them looked very worried. 

"Why are you in there? Did you do something to him?" Said Sirius this time looking directly at Regulus with a frown he knew he wasn't supposed to be friendly but he never believed him capable of hurting others.

"H-he didn't," mumbled Severus unable to let his former friend be mistreated because of him. 

"We bumped on each other, I only wanted to see if he was ok, weren't you and your friends responsible for this? It seems more likely," retorted Regulus glaring at Sirius. 

Severus was looking distraught at them while tears kept flowing, he knew they were about to start fighting and right now he didn't felt like he could handle it.

"What did you just say?" Sirius took a threatening step towards him and Severus found himself recoiled violently. 

Why could he not control his movements as well? Why? Why?? Was he doomed to be so pitiful all his life? 

He hated it. Why the hell did he invent this bloody spell too, did he not learn anything from Levicorpus, damn it? 

Stupid! Stupid! Why is he so stupid? 

"Stop it!" He tried to scream, meaning the pathetic whimper that came out of his lips, his breathing accelerating to short, urgent breaths. 

He knew he was heading for another panic attack and oh, no, he's had enough of them lately! Especially in front of other people.

Remus looked worried at the raven-haired boy and knew instantly something was very wrong. 

"Hey! Stop fighting it's not helping you're only making things worse," said Remus pointing at the panicking boy beside them.

Sirius forced himself to breath and mentally tried counting to ten, then to twenty and at twenty-eight he was finally able to regain some control over himself. He looked guilty to Severus.

"I'm sorry Rae-Rae -I-I mean Sev! Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to upset you more..." Severus couldn't stop the loud sobs and cries that forced themselves from him nor the heavy breathing.

Suddenly a pair of warm stronger arms surrounded him in a tight embrace and again he was not able to control his movements and ended up returning the hug with force and putting his face on the other boy's neck breathing the comforting known smell.

James couldn't help the smile that appears on his face when he felt Severus returning his hug with urgency, he had only acted on instincts remembering how he would calm down little Raven not even thinking it was going to work with the teenager version. 

"Umm guys we need to go to the Slytherin dorms, Slughorn is waiting for us," said Peter uncomfortable, he was also worried for Severus but also didn't want to have trouble the first day back.

James nodded quietly towards Peter and gestured towards Severus' shaky shape still between his arms, signaling they would give him some time. 

Severus' eyes were tightly closed and paths of tears appeared on his face. Sirius felt a pinch of guilt at the sight, remembering the name of the label they used to stick to the boy in front of him, which was absurd, because to be fair, in all the long time he had seen him as Snivellus, he had never seen him cry. 

And now... now he did not know what to do, how to comfort the broken boy in front of him. The parents managed to calm Severus through the panic attacks he experienced, but the four boys had no idea what to do. 

Regulus leaned over, "Severus." He began in a quiet, gentle voice, "Look at me, please..." 

Oh, so now he decided to talk to him? Sirius took a step forward, only to be stopped by Remus who looked at him with a sharp and firm look.

"I'm truly sorry for what I did I really regret it and have missed you badly. I was so afraid to not be good enough for my family that I stupidly turned my back on the only real friend I had." Regulus eyes became glossy and his lips trembled a little before his hand reached to touch Severus back, the other boy flinched slightly at the sudden touch but relaxed quickly.

"I'm sorry for leaving you alone when you needed me the most, for not been there when you felt you couldn't cope with things anymore. I hope someday you can forgive me." Regulus looked really regretful and Sirius decided to let Severus be the one to say the verdict. 

Sirius knew he himself was a very resentful person and he would forgive so easily which maybe was part of why he needed to be on therapy too along with other personal issues he now knew he also had to work on. 

The other four boys looked at the exchange silently deciding no matter what they would protect their little Slytherin. 

To everyone's surprise, Severus took out his face from the crook on James' neck and with puffy red eyes still full of tears said "I forgive you, I understood why you did it and wasn't mad with you, I've always known I'm nothing but a burden and I didn't want to cause you trouble." 

Regulus looked pained at the answer, he always knew deep down Severus was a really good person but never imagined him to be so selfless. It had all been Regulus' fault and still, somehow he was the one taking the blame. 

That's why they had got along so good at the first place, none of them felt good enough and did their best to be out of everyone else's way. 

Regulus always knew Severus' roughness and defensive behavior was only a shield to protect himself from the world and even he had only seen a glimpse of the true Severus, he only hoped he could get that close to him again, for the other boy to trust him.

Remus passed a handkerchief to Severus so he could clean his face and Sirius couldn't keep himself shut anymore "You are not a burden and never have been and honestly you are already better than me and maybe most here cause I am sure as hell wouldn't be so forgiving. You really need to see yourself better cause all the shit we always said about was that and we couldn't have been more wrong." 

Remus nodded and Peter too before both James and Regulus helped him stand. No more words were shared for the short distance to the common room and thankfully when they entered only Slughorn and a couple of seventh years were still there, everyone else already in their dorms.

The six boys headed for the dormitories of Severus and Peter, with a silent agreement to accompany the two first, before each turning to his room. 

They didn't speak, nor because there were no words. The silence was tense, but it seems that no one dared to break it. 

Regulus felt troubled. It was too weird. The whole situation. 

At first, the incident with Sirius on the train, then the terrorist quartet that embittered his friend's life, turns 180° and are actually worried about Severus, and ending with Severus himself, which of all, was the strangest individual. 

Severus was a good person, he knew it, obviously, Regulus also knew how low Severus' self-esteem and self-confidence were, but that? The crying, the emotional revelation, he even wasn't cynical... what the hell went wrong? 

The young Slytherin boy bit his lower lip that began to tremble, felt overwhelming guilt, even a year ago, his situation wasn't that deep low... like a sink... It's... Regulus can help but feel sick, does... Severus crack?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's been a while... everyone who waited for that, sorry.  
> Hope you liked it.


End file.
